difficult situation

[yankees13]

have been in a relationship with a man I love very much for a year now. The only thing is he has lied to me and cheated before. He asked for forgiveness and I moved away from him, because I really wanted to get away and start a new life and prove he couldn't keep treating my like that. I still do love him and I have visited him and he has visited me. I even planned on moving back in with him, but he had a change of heart and told me it wasn't the right time. He has several kids with different mothers and if they start trying to get child support he dumps me.

He does sound like a horrible man from what I'm telling, but he also has a very sweet side he wants to marry me now and says he realizes he has messed up. He wants me to leave where I'm at and move in with him across the country. I very much like where I'm living, but I'm kind of lonely without him. I just don't think he has changed, because everytime he is trying to get me to come back he lays it on thick and once I get there he treats me totally different. I think it is time to let go, but it's hard. I don't know what to do. Can people change? He has bounced back from me and his ex and I just don't think he will stop.

I live in Miami and he lives in Las Vegas. I absolutley hated it there as well. The only reason I would go back is for this man. Any suggestions? He can be very mentally abusive and that is why I think I need him so much. I really don't wanna make a huge mistake, but there is nothing more lonely than being in a new city and not really having anyone I can count on. I do love him, but I have never hurt him like he has hurt me and everytime he asks me to leave a few weeks later after I get back here he lays it on thick telling me he messed up and he misses me sooo much. I just think if he cared so much he would treat me nice all of the time. I have heard it all from oh just dump him and the like. I plan to let go it's just very hard. when you are in a mentally abusive relationship your esteem really goes down south and I feel like I'm nothing now. Any words of encouragement or advice? If you are going to say just "dump him" just spare the comment. I know I need to let go, I just need to get my life back. I feel like my biological clock is ticking, I'm 33, but I don't want to settle for this. I love him, but I have a huge heart and this man really doesn't appreciate me til I leave. Then he begs for me to come back and always tells me he loves me.

[Sabali]

If you are going to say just "dump him" just spare the comment. I know I need to let go, I just need to get my life back. I feel like my biological clock is ticking, I'm 33, but I don't want to settle for this. I love him, but I have a huge heart and this man really doesn't appreciate me til I leave. Then he begs for me to come back and always tells me he loves me.

 

Then there really is nothing to tell you. You said it all in the statements above. Go to him and be happy or miserable or happy or miserable... after all 33 is the new 73 and you can't possibly invest your time in finding a healthy relationship because you got someone that begs and tells you that he loves you. What more can you possibly ask for in a relationship? You got it all, girl! This situation ain't difficult.

[xpaperxcutx]

So how many women had he impregnanted and how many kids does he have? Unless he's Sean P. Diddy Combs who has 17 kids and can afford them, I'd question whether he's really loose as a person.

 

No wonder he cheats.

[TaraMaiden]

have been in a relationship with a man I love very much for a year now. The only thing is he has lied to me and cheated before. He asked for forgiveness and I moved away from him, because I really wanted to get away and start a new life and prove he couldn't keep treating my like that. I still do love him and I have visited him and he has visited me. I even planned on moving back in with him, but he had a change of heart and told me it wasn't the right time. He has several kids with different mothers and if they start trying to get child support he dumps me.

He does sound like a horrible man from what I'm telling, but he also has a very sweet side he wants to marry me now and says he realizes he has messed up. He wants me to leave where I'm at and move in with him across the country. I very much like where I'm living, but I'm kind of lonely without him. I just don't think he has changed, because everytime he is trying to get me to come back he lays it on thick and once I get there he treats me totally different. I think it is time to let go, but it's hard. I don't know what to do. Can people change? He has bounced back from me and his ex and I just don't think he will stop.

I live in Miami and he lives in Las Vegas. I absolutley hated it there as well. The only reason I would go back is for this man. Any suggestions? He can be very mentally abusive and that is why I think I need him so much. I really don't wanna make a huge mistake, but there is nothing more lonely than being in a new city and not really having anyone I can count on. I do love him, but I have never hurt him like he has hurt me and everytime he asks me to leave a few weeks later after I get back here he lays it on thick telling me he messed up and he misses me sooo much. I just think if he cared so much he would treat me nice all of the time. I have heard it all from oh just dump him and the like. I plan to let go it's just very hard. when you are in a mentally abusive relationship your esteem really goes down south and I feel like I'm nothing now. Any words of encouragement or advice? If you are going to say just "dump him" just spare the comment. I know I need to let go, I just need to get my life back. I feel like my biological clock is ticking, I'm 33, but I don't want to settle for this. I love him, but I have a huge heart and this man really doesn't appreciate me til I leave. Then he begs for me to come back and always tells me he loves me.

 

mmmm. Sounds like a real catch.

 

Bear in mind that if you marry him, you marry all his ex-problems and all his kids.

Yay you....

 

 

Hurt me once, more fool you. Hurt me twice, more fool me.

 

How many times has he hurt you?

How much more of a fool are you going to be?

 

Jeeesh, really, this is a complete no brainer.....

 

Your self esteem is not so low that you can't rationalise.

Somebody with self-esteem at rock bottom would hate themselves so much that they would not be surprised why a man like this wants them, because nobody else would.

The fact that you are even questioning such a decision, shows that you still have an ounce of dignity left.

 

You really need to find a counsellor and work on yourself to reach the level where you realise that biological clock or not, a man like this isn't a good person for anyone, let alone you.

Your happiness is not dependent on anybody else, but yourself.

With everything you've told us, you really shouldn't even be asking the questions. It should be glaringly obvious to you that the way to go is nowhere near this man, or Las Vegas.

you need to completely cut him out of your life and build your confidence and own happiness sky-high.

This really is just dumb.