kalikula Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 So there is this guy I met semi recently. We have hooked up about 4x I think. It seems as though it's just a booty call situation.. The last time we hung out I texted him around 1130 and we hooked up, he left around 3.. (My bed is tiny and hard to sleep in for two people). But the time before that, he texted me and I came over around 10, we got high and watched a movie, I slept over, he made me blueberry waffles and walked me home. (Only two blocks but kinda cute. ) Anyway I'm a little unsure about him because I have texted him the last 2 times! (The first he had to study all weekend and the second he came over). But, he usually responds fairly quickly.. To me that sounds like he isn't even interested in hooking up! But when we're together, we have a lot of fun and stay up late talking as well. He is usually very cuddly and smiley and kisses me on the forehead which I think is super cute. I don't necessarily want a boyfriend or anything, but I wouldn't mind just hanging out a little more. Plus we're still in college so hooking up is kinda the norm here.. But I can tell if it's just a late night booty call situation I will be over it quickly even though the sex is great. So ideally I want to hang out more, even just on a casual level. - Should I ask him if he wants to hang out, ie make dinner together at my house or something? (If so, should I ask him via text or wait till we meet up again?) - Or should I just ask him to come over and drink/hang out with my friends one night, maybe bring a friend? - Do I need to wait for him to text me this time? Thanks, I have never really had a booty call situation so I am not exactly sure how they work.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Booty call situations involve spontaneity and no complications. That's why the female is often married or in other relationships. She isn't quite getting enough or the right stuff from numero uno and makes time to be sexed up by someone she knows will go home or part w/o the emotional insecurities and need to keep running dialog with. It's very tough for the ego of a young single woman to accept booty call status because she's not living a double life. It's hard not to want symbols of personal interest and loyalty--it's totally normal to crave that and start second-guessing why you're not getting it. Single men or even straying married ones are often just pleased to have the sexual outlet while keeping their freedom to be who else they are. We don't mind hearing "OK, you go now, yes?" The answer is "as you wish me lady" as we sponge off our chins and hardware.
Author kalikula Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 OK... Perhaps this was a silly question to ask. I'll just go with my gut on this one! I've got nothing to lose anyway.
AverageJoe Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Booty call situations involve spontaneity and no complications. That's why the female is often married or in other relationships. She isn't quite getting enough or the right stuff from numero uno and makes time to be sexed up by someone she knows will go home or part w/o the emotional insecurities and need to keep running dialog with. It's very tough for the ego of a young single woman to accept booty call status because she's not living a double life. It's hard not to want symbols of personal interest and loyalty--it's totally normal to crave that and start second-guessing why you're not getting it. Single men or even straying married ones are often just pleased to have the sexual outlet while keeping their freedom to be who else they are. We don't mind hearing "OK, you go now, yes?" The answer is "as you wish me lady" as we sponge off our chins and hardware. Actually I can add contrast to that. None of the women I see are married, or even have what they consider a steady boyfriend. So that isnt always true. He has his life and you have yours. Treat it accordingly. What works for you may not work for him, what works for you may not work for him. In the meantime if it works, well done! Keep it light and enjoy each others company.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 True Joe. I have been the booty callee and not the booty caller in some spells. It can be tough even on a grown up man to be single and have a woman just call and come over for sex and leave w/o spending the rest of the night. I was of course not a youngster and accepted the trade-off without going to shreds but it would certainly bug me if I got a call on Thursday for a visit on Friday night and then she cancels. It can be rough sprucing up the pad and the self only to get a big question mark as to when she'll next come around. I've never cheated on anyone myself but I'm human and these infrequent booty calls where a welcome bone during those dry spells of not being in a steady relationship.
alexlakeman Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Call him up, go out for a bite to eat and tell him you want to see a little bit more of him..
Dante311 Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I've never had a booty call before. I'm open to advice! LOL
Author kalikula Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 (edited) I texted him and said "Hey btw last night was fun.. we should hang out sometime before 12 am haha.. maybe make dinner at my house or something?" Edit: He said "Sure hit me up sometime this week" So I should right? Normally I wouldn't really pursue a guy but he is too cute.. Edited August 29, 2010 by kalikula
Mad Max Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 OK... Perhaps this was a silly question to ask. I'll just go with my gut on this one! I've got nothing to lose anyway. You have plenty to lose. Self-respect, dignity, and your health. You haven't had him tested for STDs. You don't know if he's sleeping with others.
Author kalikula Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 You have plenty to lose. Self-respect, dignity, and your health. You haven't had him tested for STDs. You don't know if he's sleeping with others. Actually we have talked about both of those things. Besides which how am I losing my self respect and dignity by asking him out? Aren't you the one who's always saying a girl has to go after what she wants? I would appreciate it if you wouldn't comment in any more of my threads. I find your posts to be abrasive and somewhat rude.
Mad Max Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Actually we have talked about both of those things. Besides which how am I losing my self respect and dignity by asking him out? Aren't you the one who's always saying a girl has to go after what she wants? I would appreciate it if you wouldn't comment in any more of my threads. I find your posts to be abrasive and somewhat rude. I never said anything about asking him out. The topic of the thread isn't even about that. It's about booty calls.
Author kalikula Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 I never said anything about asking him out. The topic of the thread isn't even about that. It's about booty calls. Why even comment if you're not going to follow the thread? It's not even a page long. Anyway way to judge and make assumptions about what we have and have not talked about...
Mad Max Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Why even comment if you're not going to follow the thread? It's not even a page long. Anyway way to judge and make assumptions about what we have and have not talked about... I've read the entire page. Why would you even want to be a booty call?
Author kalikula Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 (edited) Booty call was an exaggeration, right now we are just hooking up and I want to hang out more. I don't want a serious relationship right now but someone to have fun with and hang out with sometimes. "But I can tell if it's just a late night booty call situation I will be over it quickly even though the sex is great." Does that sound like I want to be a booty call? Please get out of my thread. Edited August 29, 2010 by kalikula
Feelin Frisky Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 ...Edit: He said "Sure hit me up sometime this week" So I should right? Normally I wouldn't really pursue a guy but he is too cute.. Go for it. I hope he MAKES time for you. If he flakes then maybe it's time to start get over him. There's no shame in going for what you want. I hope it really turns out for you.
Author kalikula Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 Go for it. I hope he MAKES time for you. If he flakes then maybe it's time to start get over him. There's no shame in going for what you want. I hope it really turns out for you. Aww, thanks. He really doesn't seem like the flaky type (He's never ignored a text I sent him or anything) but I also rarely text him. But if he's actually not interested then I guess he will just flake out and I'll move on. We'll see!
dispatch3d Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 it's perfectly fine to chase guys. I have a girl chasing me now, and I almost don't want to make her stop because I feel like that's the way it SHOULD be. Weird eh, but honestly it seems more natural to me. I'm not sure if it's an alpha vs beta thing. I know when I was more beta I'd chase/make more effort (also doesn't make sense to me as far as the stereotypes go). but yeah, when a guy says hit me up sometime this week he actually means it. Very few guys say one thing and actually mean something else. I feel the same about mad max .
denise_xo Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 So there is this guy I met semi recently. We have hooked up about 4x I think. It seems as though it's just a booty call situation.. The last time we hung out I texted him around 1130 and we hooked up, he left around 3.. (My bed is tiny and hard to sleep in for two people). . True Joe. I have been the booty callee and not the booty caller in some spells. It can be tough even on a grown up man to be single and have a woman just call and come over for sex and leave w/o spending the rest of the night. I don't really get this kind of stuff. Casual sex, ONS, whatever, you spend the night. I would also expect (or serve) coffee in the morning. If the bed is small, you use the floor.
Author kalikula Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 He did try but it was really impossible to sleep... Anyway when I stayed over at his, he had a big bed and I def slept over and he made me waffles and walked me home. So I don't think it's that big of a deal. Besides, I don't have any coffee.
denise_xo Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 . Besides, I don't have any coffee. :eek: :eek: How do you live?
Philetus Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Actually I can add contrast to that. None of the women I see are married, or even have what they consider a steady boyfriend. So that isnt always true. He has his life and you have yours. Treat it accordingly. What works for you may not work for him, what works for you may not work for him. In the meantime if it works, well done! Keep it light and enjoy each others company. I second that. I had two women I hooked up with in this way. Both were not in relationships and one of the caveats to sexing each other up was that if we did start a relationship with someone, our activities would cease. Even in my limited experience, there was no set way of doing things. In case A, I was always the aggressor - calling and texting her. In case B, it was more mutual and we almost had a routine of Monday nights. I'm a HUGE fan of open communication. Especially in situations like this where you're not heavily involved with this guy. Tell him what you like. You'd like to hang out, it sounds like he'd be into that. If you want, invite him to stay over. Basically, I'd tell him what you told us in the OP. "I don't want a boyfriend but I'd like to hang out more with you." The worst that happens is he says he's not into that and then you have a decision to make. Good luck.
Philetus Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 I've read the entire page. Why would you even want to be a booty call? Not saying the OP wants this, but what's wrong with wanting to be a booty call if that's your choice? Do we all have to have the same sexual relationships as everyone else? Maybe we should all wait until we get married, that sure was healthy.
Author kalikula Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 (edited) ^ Yeah.. If anything he's MY booty call. I'm a HUGE fan of open communication. Especially in situations like this where you're not heavily involved with this guy. Tell him what you like. You'd like to hang out, it sounds like he'd be into that. If you want, invite him to stay over. Basically, I'd tell him what you told us in the OP. "I don't want a boyfriend but I'd like to hang out more with you." The worst that happens is he says he's not into that and then you have a decision to make. Thanks. I think I will pretty much say that if/when we hang out. I'm not afraid to be direct and I don't have that much to lose anyway. (Except my dignity apparently... ) Edited August 30, 2010 by kalikula
Feelin Frisky Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I don't really get this kind of stuff. Casual sex, ONS, whatever, you spend the night. I would also expect (or serve) coffee in the morning. If the bed is small, you use the floor. When I think back I used to do the same thing with her where she was the booty callee. I left every time because she had a son and I didn't want him to get it that I was doing him mom. When I moved into Manhattan and sold my car, she would visit me via subway and I'd give her cab fare to take the PATH to Jersey City. Someone had to tend the boy.
alclarkey Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Aww, thanks. He really doesn't seem like the flaky type (He's never ignored a text I sent him or anything) but I also rarely text him. But if he's actually not interested then I guess he will just flake out and I'll move on. We'll see! I keep waiting for some dumb **** to come in here and say something like "Wait, he responds to every text? He's a creepy desperate clinger, get out of there"
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