Are we all sometimes the jerk?

[Swiss Miss]

I've been down a lot lately due to the way my relationship ended/is ending. We dated for a little under three years when I broke it off. About six months later, I truly believed I could give her what she wanted and we got back together. After a few months, I realize that I'm truly not ready for this again, and we will soon be completely broken off.

 

It really hurts me because I feel as if I acted honestly and to my feelings when I got back together with this girl, and I never intended to hurt her more than I already did. But even I, when looking from an outsiders point of view would think I was an *******. It's so hard when I know she and everyone we know will think that, when I never intended it.

 

My question to you guys is, do you think at some point everyone seems like a total jerk, even when they didnt intend it? Has a situation like this happened to you? Do we all sometimes find ourselves seeming mean or cruel when we our actions had good and positive meanings?

[Sabali]

There is a saying:

 

The road to hell was paved with good intentions.

 

 

There is an area of philosophy that deals with the concept of good and the idea that "intentions" are more significant than negative consequences of certain actions, to put it very simple.

 

 

The bottom line here is that no one is perfect. Despite trying our best at times, we get bad results. We do have to take responsibilities for our actions or no one can ever be accountable for any thing or grow from our mistakes but you have to forgive yourself for bad consequences resulting from legitimate good intentions. Everyone can be a jerk at times, and some people are markedly easier to hurt more than others.

 

 

I do not believe you are a jerk in this instance. Many, many people get back with exes with the belief that they could really make it work and they miss their ex only to find out later that it really won't work and that maybe they didn't fully understand their feelings when they got back with their ex.

[Swiss Miss]

Yeah I suppose I can always tell myself I honestly did what I felt was right for me, despite the fact it turned out I was wrong. Just hard when I know it hurts her so much.

 

Makes me think about both sides of a story I suppose, and how break ups can appear from one side. Sucks though, as it comes off so horribly wrong

[Sabali]

Yeah I suppose I can always tell myself I honestly did what I felt was right for me, despite the fact it turned out I was wrong. Just hard when I know it hurts her so much.

 

Makes me think about both sides of a story I suppose, and how break ups can appear from one side. Sucks though, as it comes off so horribly wrong

 

Forgive yourself. You went with good intentions and that is what is most important. Still take responsibility for the hurt that was created but don't beat yourself up about it.

[yah]

Yes, I guess I was once that jerk. Sometimes we all hurt people's feelings but we don't mean to. It sucks, you feel remorseful but you just have to get over it and learn your lesson for next time.