curlygirl40 Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Hi there. So I'm new at all of this dating stuff and could use some advice. Here's the situation. I have been e-mailing and texting with a guy from Match. I was the one who initially sent him an e-mail on Match, he responded the same day (last Friday), then he initiated the IM on Sunday. Sunday we IM'd and then texted, Monday we texted a ton (initiated by him), getting to know you stuff, Tuesday texted again a lot (initiated by me) etc., etc.. Tuesday he mentioned meeting. Wednesday I asked him what his weekend looked like and in that text 'convo' we decided Saturday would work for both of us. We're meeting 1/2 way so he said he would look into some places. Thursday he texted me and we had quick text exchange (how is your day sort of stuff) as we were both busy with work that day. I had a good work day and put a deal together and joked that I would buy him a drink and he said 'Deal!'. Friday (today) I texted him and we texted back and forth for a bit, laughing about a mess I had gotten myself into with my tractor. He was a little flirty with me. So here is my issue. Since Wednesday there has been no talk about what we were going to do on Saturday. So here I am, Friday evening, kids with their dad for the weekend, with no idea if I have a date or not for Saturday evening. I'm assuming we're going to firm up plans tomorrow for the evening. But that's me assuming. If I don't hear from him in the morning do I text him and say something like 'so what do you feel like doing this evening', thinking that we're still on? Or do I just wait for him to make the move? This is all so completely confusing to me. I see no harm in sending him that quick text. Not a needy like 'do you still want to go out with me' text, but a text that makes it look like I'm assuming we still have plans even though we never set up a time and place. I have friends that are telling me 'absolutely not, do not contact him, if he wants to see you he'll get in touch with you' and some that are telling me the opposite. What to do?? Thanks!!
kalikula Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Instead of saying that, just say "Are we still on for tomorrow?" Or, if you contact him tomorrow, say "Are we still on for today?", and he will either bail out or set up a concrete time and place to meet.
DontStopMeNow Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Yeah I don't see the harm in it. If he's looking forward to going this won't change anything.
Author curlygirl40 Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 Thank you for replying! I'm leaning in this direction. And like dont stop says, me asking probably won't change the outcome. Either he's looking forward to meeting me and also assuming we're still on, or he's already planning on bailing. Any other thoughts out there? I'll post tomorrow and tell you what the outcome was. Either I have a date with him or a date with my TV. Either way really, I'm pretty happy. Although a date with a real live person will be much more entertaining. Thanks again!
meerkat stew Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Consider using phone instead of text for match or any other internet dates. Leaves less possibility of misunderstanding and confusion.
jamesum Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I have friends that are telling me 'absolutely not, do not contact him, if he wants to see you he'll get in touch with you' and some that are telling me the opposite. Both of you are not high school kids anymore. Rather than anxiously waiting all day for a phone call, just say, "Hey, are we still on for Saturday?" EASY and SIMPLE. Its not like you are asking him to get married tomorrow.
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Yes you're not in high school, but he can contact her as well. He really should.
Author curlygirl40 Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 I know I would feel better if he was the first to bring it up today, but I do think I'll call him or text him if I don't hear from him by maybe 10:00 or 11:00. I don't like the waiting game and want to be able to make other plans if I decide to. Thanks again!
jamesum Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I know I would feel better if he was the first to bring it up today, but I do think I'll call him or text him if I don't hear from him by maybe 10:00 or 11:00. I don't like the waiting game and want to be able to make other plans if I decide to. Thanks again! Just contact him ONCE. If he doesnt respond, dont contact him again. Leave the ball in his court. Easy and simple. I know I would feel better if he was the first to bring it up today Dont we all would feel better if the other person was the first to initiate? Yes you're not in high school, but he can contact her as well. He really should. Why? You make it sound like he has an obligation to do so.
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 He doesn't have an "obligation" but my point was he's immature, also, if he is not making contact.
Author curlygirl40 Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 So I thought I would update you all. I did send the text about 10 a.m. Good morning, etc. then 'are we on for tonight?' No response. It's 4 p.m. I will not contact him again. Best to get the flakes out of the way early, huh?! So oh well. Now my DVD player and my blender have a date with me for this evening. I'm certainly not going to get my panties in a bunch over a guy I have never met. Onward! Thanks again for all of your responses.
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Wow, he really is an a**hole! Good attitude, though. Now people, who is the immature one?
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Did he end up responding? If not, what a d$ck!!!
jamesum Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 So I thought I would update you all. I did send the text about 10 a.m. Good morning, etc. then 'are we on for tonight?' No response. It's 4 p.m. I will not contact him again. Best to get the flakes out of the way early, huh?! So oh well. Now my DVD player and my blender have a date with me for this evening. I'm certainly not going to get my panties in a bunch over a guy I have never met. Onward! Thanks again for all of your responses. Good, the ball is in his court now. Dont ever contact him again until he responds and when he does, he better comes up with a good excuse. Otherwise, just blow him off.
Star Gazer Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Good, the ball is in his court now. Dont ever contact him again until he responds and when he does, he better comes up with a good excuse. Otherwise, just blow him off. Agreed, although I can't think of a reason good enough to not respond to a text. Sh*t, I actually remember the morning my grandma passed, texting the dude I had a date with that night that I wouldn't be able to make it. If I can do it, anyone can.
jamesum Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Agreed, although I can't think of a reason good enough to not respond to a text. Sh*t, I actually remember the morning my grandma passed, texting the dude I had a date with that night that I wouldn't be able to make it. If I can do it, anyone can. I agree that 90% chances this guy flaked. But still life is unpredictable. There is 10% chances of him unable to text back due to genuine reasons. I mean he was just as eager as her to communicate the days before.
meerkat stew Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Texts get lost and passed over all the time, especially if someone sends and receives lots of them. If you are really worried about someone flaking in the future, best to just call and leave VM.
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 By the way, he should have initiated firming up the date since he is the one who brought up meeting in the first place. So he's a SUPER DUPER a**hole!
Star Gazer Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Texts get lost and passed over all the time, especially if someone sends and receives lots of them. Not if that's your primary form of communicating with the person. He's an arse. Stop defending him.
meerkat stew Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Consider using phone instead of text for match or any other internet dates. Leaves less possibility of misunderstanding and confusion. Texts get lost and passed over all the time, especially if someone sends and receives lots of them. If you are really worried about someone flaking in the future, best to just call and leave VM. Oh, yeah, sorry for "defending him" all over this thread
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