summerl0vesyou Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I am so upset and i really need to talk to someone who will be supportive but firm. i am feeling so low and upset and i have absolutely nobody to talk to right now and Im not thinking very good thoughts. Im so depressed about an ex that I dont want to be alive right now, im not planning to harm myself but im really not in a good way right now. xcfadedbeautycx on a i m please :/
Stung Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Honey, I can't AIM right now. I'm hoping someone else has found you and is talking to you right now. But even better, if your thoughts are truly taking you to a dark place, you should pick up your phone and reach out. Call a suicide or mental health hotline if you can't call anyone you know. Hearing a real voice might help center you, and the people on those hotlines are trained and want to help.
lab_brat Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 i dont have aim either... summer, go to bed. right now. sleeping for a few hours is the best thing you can do right now ok? Go lie down for a lil bit and when you wake up, you'll feel a little more in control. exes arent worth it. you are xoxoxoxoxox
amagordos Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 It may not be easy to get over an ex, but it can be done and believe me, even though you don't feel good today, nor the next day, someday you will. Someday you will smile again and you will forget about him. Just think about everything else that you still have and that you are lucky to still be in this world. I know the sadness wont go away that fast, but the trick is to remind yourself that it is only temporary and that you will get through this.
Leigh 87 Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Hi, I have just moved to a new town, and have no friends, and cry every day with depression. I have been thinking very dark thoughts too, so you are not alone, no one wants you gone. These thoughts pass. I feel terrible myself, but I am holding out hope. Why don't u think about nice things that could happen for you in the future? Just hold on to the good possibilities, if u cvannot stand where you are right now? What you felt for your ex, u can feel again with some one else, right? After much time.
naya1 Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 best u can do is sleep it off or take a shower. get off the pc, i know its hard but just get up and do something else than sit in front of the pc. im going through the exact same thing right now. going out for a bit to the store to get a strong liquor.
Philetus Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I've been exactly where you are when my 19 year marriage ended. See a therapist. Honestly, it was the best thing I did. They listen without judgment and are great at helping you look at the big picture. Rely on your friends. Find people who will just listen without judgment and be there for you. Go to the gym. Run, bike, dance, anything. It releases natural endorphins that will make you feel better. During my darkest time, I would go to the gym twice a day. It saved my sanity. That break up that almost destroyed me became one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. I learned so much about myself and what I truly wanted. One other thing that helped me, gave me odd comfort was embracing death. The idea that in 100 years, I'll be dead and none of this will matter put it in a weird perspective. If you do turn to alcohol, forgive yourself. You're in a bad place right now and you have to give yourself permission to make mistakes and forgive yourself when you do. Don't spiral down into greater depression or self loathing/pitying. You're going to wallow in your own despair, allow yourself to feel it but make a point to get out of your house at some point even to take a walk. Know that as bad as you feel, better days are ahead. I know it's little comfort right now, right now it just ****ing hurts. But, intellectually you know it to be true and it's something to focus on.
Lost Fish Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 This is the part that I cannot yet understand, the idea of learning what one truly wants? In her current state of mind, as well as mine, all we want are our exes back. How does that change into something else? It changes when you realize you are sick of channeling so much emotion and energy into something that isn't even there anymore (ie - your ex). It changes when you realize your life is passing you by and you are stagnating day after day. Surely you had hobbies, interests, and a life before you even met this ex, didn't you? You have to reconnect with that person. And to do that you have to let go. Then begin finding yourself again. I know it's hard, but I've been through two grueling breakups that really tested me. But you bounce back once you are sick of feeling sad. Once you truly accept that it's over. Until you do, you will continue to be stuck.
Lost Fish Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Sure I had hobbies before I met her, but I was 13 years old at the time! I do understand what you're saying though. I guess my problem is that when I think of what I want, at least in a relationship, she exhibits all the traits I could imagine, and has idiosyncrasies with me that no one else I've ever met had. It is just a shame that she turned out to be some combination of crazy and evil! Well, she was missing the most important trait dude - wanting to be with you. Be very careful about putting this woman on a pedestal. I'm sorry to be harsh, and if you were only 13 before you first met her, then I know how hard the break must be weighing on you. But even still, the fact that you are living and breathing and alive right now is proof enough that you still have plenty of life - and love - left to experience. And that should give you hope enough that there is another woman out there right now who will give you the all love and commitment you really deserve. I do understand where you're coming from, and I feel for you man - but I believe 100% that there is a better woman other out there for you. So you need to be the best BiAxident you can be for her.
Philetus Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 It changes when you realize you are sick of channeling so much emotion and energy into something that isn't even there anymore (ie - your ex). It changes when you realize your life is passing you by and you are stagnating day after day. Surely you had hobbies, interests, and a life before you even met this ex, didn't you? You have to reconnect with that person. And to do that you have to let go. Then begin finding yourself again. I know it's hard, but I've been through two grueling breakups that really tested me. But you bounce back once you are sick of feeling sad. Once you truly accept that it's over. Until you do, you will continue to be stuck. +1. A breakup is like suffering a death of someone close to you. You have to go through a process. Guilt, denial, bartering, self pitying, anger and finally acceptance. I'm sure I'm leaving out some steps and everyone is different but you have to grieve and ultimately, you'll come to accept it. Allow yourself to get angry over the way you were treated. I know it doesn't seem like that now but time does heal all wounds. Eventually, I learned that I wasn't defined by my relationships to other people but I defined myself. Happiness is a state of mind independent of your situation to a large degree (it's why people who 'have it all' can still be miserable and vice versa). When I realized that, it became 'me' time. I became selfish but in a good way. I took care of my needs first, I looked into myself and asked, 'what do I want'? Do I want another relationship? A string of flings with women I don't owe anything to? Be without women entirely for a time? What was something that filled me with fear - being alone, became exhilarating. It felt like walking off a cliff but when I embraced it, it become intoxicating. The best thing a counselor said to me was, 'every crisis presents us with opportunities. The trick is to find them.' That's become a mantra for me and it's true. The opportunity is that you're answerable to no one except yourself and that's liberating and very, very powerful. You have the power and ability to define who you are and what you want. I know it's scary and right now you want that person back but trust it, it takes time. In the meantime, lean on your friends and work on yourself. Physical fitness is awesome. It makes you feel and look better. I would go to the gym, feeling like my life was over, and leave very upset and optimistic. It saved my ass. Good luck.
Recommended Posts