Worst first date?

[kalikula]

Just had mine... So I ran into this guy from one of my classes that I always thought was kinda creepy. He texted me afterwards "You are consistently super fine we should get coffee"

 

And I tried to sort of ignore the invite but he pushed it so I agreed.. (I should have just ignored him I realize now, but I always feel bad about doing that... Lesson learned for sure.)

 

Anyways, we got coffee. On the phone he said something about coffee and a bench and homeless people in the park, so I jokingly said that I thought he wanted to get coffee and watch the homeless people in the park or something... Which apparently he was extremely offended because it was disrespectful towards him.. Maybe that was not a good idea but I wasn't really trying hard to impress him.

 

Worst part: We're chatting on a bench, I am being a little stand offish because I'm just not feeling it, he's a weird guy, I don't get him.... It doesn't seem like he actually listens when I'm talking either. SO then totally randomly he says "I stopped sitting next to you in class because I got too horny and I couldn't stand it." ... Is that not really inappropriate? I was kind of grossed out and didn't know what to say, I just pretended he hadn't said it!

 

So afterwards he sends me a long FB message and says that "That was an abysmal date.. Cannot believe my homeless park comment... He's been in long term relationships, and you have no idea how to treat a heterosexual male." (Um... Ok.. ) AND he blocked me so I couldn't respond, but I still had his number so I could text my response.

 

So I say clearly we have no chemistry and he should get over it, and his comment about sitting next to me made me uncomfortable and he shouldn't say things like that to someone he doesn't even know.

 

Anyway, feel free to comment or talk about your own worst first date so I feel better about this horrendous "date"....

[Shakz]

Guy sounds like he has Asperger's. I went out with a woman once who farted all the way through the date and seemed to have the remarkable talent of timing her gastric discharges for maximum embarrassing effect.

[Lost Fish]

Ohhhh my dear Kali! Lol!!

 

Wow! What a creeper! Jeebus. lol.. I seriously laughed out loud reading that. It was almost like a comedy.

 

OK, so first off - you now know that it is ok to say NO to people!!! Lol. You are your own person, it isn't your job to make everybody happy.

 

OK, as for my worst first date:

I was young, 18. Met a girl on AOL chat, lol (this was in 1997 - when the internet was new and exciting - especially to a teenager like I was, lol). I saw her online one night when I had just got home from a party - drunkenly got her to call me. We talked for like 4 hours. Then the next couple days we talked a LOT - like until we had to sleep or go to work. Ahh young love...

 

The whole time she was telling me "you have no idea how unattractive I am." Now me, being young and naive told her that her looks didn't matter I was really into her, lol. So I finally convinced her to go out with me.

 

So we finally meet up at a local bowling alley - and she was ginormous. And had horrific acne. And looked like she hadn't left the house in at least a year. And then once the attraction vanished I realized how damn annoying she was. She'd correct my grammar and stuff mid-conversation (apparently "anyways" isn't a word).

 

Anyway, I went through with the date - bowling a few games and even dinner after. I paid for everything because even back then I was a gentleman.

 

Then when we got home I emailed her that I enjoyed meeting her but my spark fizzled when we met, but best of luck to her.

 

Then I'm pretty sure I blocked/deleted her.

 

Lol, it's a harsh world out there. But I learned that yes, LOOKS DO MATTER.

 

I look back on it now fondly as it is a memory of my own naïveté. Ah youth...

[denise_xo]

My worst first date was when I was seventeen. I went downhill skiing with this guy I really wanted to impress but instead of impressing him with my skiing style I fell and broke my leg really badly, and ended up in hospital for an operation. The only positive thing was that as we were waiting for the rescue people to come bring me down from the mountain, he told me he loved me. I'm not sure it was worth it, though.

[Star Gazer]

Is it weird that I cannot think of a horrible first date?? It's usually the second and third that ho horribly wrong...

[kalikula]

Is it weird that I cannot think of a horrible first date?? It's usually the second and third that ho horribly wrong...

 

Probably a good thing actually..

 

 

OK, so first off - you now know that it is ok to say NO to people!!! Lol. You are your own person, it isn't your job to make everybody happy.

 

LOL this is true, def my problem... This was a big kick in the face to never do that again though. Haha

[kickintheaz]

Having shared a few laughs on the phone in recent times and garnered enough information about each other to make an informed decision as to whether we should meet or not the date was set….

 

It had come to light I may be familiar with a member of the extended family so I knew I'd have to tread carefully, the description I had gleaned seem appealing, the background info was sufficient for me to believe I wasn’t dealing with some kind of ex-con however one drawback was the accent (think 'Snatch') BUT, I said I’d give it a go, I am a big boy now after all and people can sound different on the phone to real life..

 

The evening arrived, I got out one of my best shirts, threw the alluring aftershave into the car and hit the road... the long drive gave me a chance to think about how my life had taken many twists and turns and I found myself looking forward to the evening, sure a coke and a chat with a nice girl can’t be that bad…

 

I’m sure I’ve never been so wrong in my life….

 

Being as deep as a puddle I had mentioned to friends earlier when explaining the upcoming date that "I hope this one doesn't look like a horse"…. (cue the rant from the females present, but we all know, if they don’t catch your eye, what’s the point?!)

 

Well I found her estate and upon driving into it, I felt the need to lock the doors.. I pulled up at her house, she came out, and the first thought thru my head was 'why the long face'...

 

Let’s just say for those of us who remember The Dandy, this ‘lady’ resembled Desperate Dan without the 5 O Clock Shadow….

 

Surely it couldn’t get worse... Right?

 

Wrong!

 

Having strapped her to the roof rack (I’m kidding, the roof wouldn’t have held her), we headed into town, up to the bar, every time she leaned over there was a builders crack (not a pretty one either) her hands were giant shovels and then she started telling me bout some c****in east european chick who knocked against her the previous week in town..

 

So eh yep, not only was my blind date not blessed with any redeeming facial features, she was also a racist foul mouth….. (Perhaps the presence of Gestapo boots should have set me up for that little nugget)

 

We went for a wander round the bar and she started to ‘complain’, shall we say, about how all the girls love themselves that go there. Now this was in an area which was full of ladies, who quite frankly, had taken some pride in their appearance for the evening’s entertainment! However with her loud protestations I could see several girls shrink back in fear...

 

I tried to keep my head down and when she went to use the facilities (I didn’t check if it was the gents) I was required to text my friends informing them of my need to get the flock out of Dodge... cue the phone ringing off the hook to warn me that my ‘alarm’ was going off!!!

 

Upon her return, my yawning increased until I managed to eventually convince her I was very tired (bearing in mind I may meet some of her family again) and that I needed to drive home ASAP before I fell asleep…… her response to this was (as she pulled a small sheep out from between her gnashers) 'ya can come back and watch TV with me!'

 

NOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo,

 

Thankfully she managed to find friends who would be in town in “10 minutes” (I presume once the bail money had been lodged) but she ‘kindly offered’ to come back to the car to 'wait' with me… I know what you are thinking and yes I knew what she was angling for so I sat with my back right up against the driver’s door… I did think about holding my hands up in surrender but figured if this was my last moment on earth and she was about to rip the head from my shoulders and chomp down on it like it was a bowl of hot nuts I may aswell try and go with some dignity..

 

Anyway, 25 minutes later the friends got into town, I could see her drawing closer as she was saying goodbye and in that moment I remember the scene from Jaws when they threw the fire extinguisher into the sharks mouth to blow its head off, frantically my eyes scanned the inside of the car but there wasn’t a sign of a CO2 canister in sight.. I managed to have her exit the car without any contact, though I may have to burn the passenger seat now...

 

I am shivering as I type this, primarily at the memory of the abject fear when she looked me in the eyes (and I saw Hades) and asked “Did I do something to offend?”…..

 

I imagine that feeling is what that person felt just before Hannibal Lector cut out their liver and ate it with a nice chianti…….

 

Blind dating I learned, is not for me.....

[lso802]

Thankfully I have not had a terrible first date.

[sameoldsameold]

Hilarious kickintheaz..... I have found myself in similar situations on a few dates recently.... with some strange men that is ..... laughing my socks off here, you should write professionally if you don't already!

[zengirl]

That sounds pretty bad. I probably wouldn't have bothered with writing him back though. Weird guy.

 

My worst first date was with a fellow I met when I was on Match for a bit when I was nearing the end of college. I'd just broken up with my boyfriend so I went on the date mostly to cleanse my palette/go on a date. First and last time I ever did THAT because what I got was the date from Hades. Good lesson though.

 

So I meet this fellow and find out the place he wants to meet is this depressing salad bar that's mostly stuffed with old people. I thought we were meeting at the Starbucks (same complex) and suggested grabbing coffee instead. I wasn't really down for eating anyway. Miscommunication. Whatever. He gets into a big thing about it. But eventually, we go to the Starbucks. (I should have just left, but I was too young/inexperienced at dating for that option to occur to me.)

 

Oh, and there was a big sign before the date that he would be annoying: He was one of those, "Send me more pictures" guys. I don't do that anymore either. He also liked to talk about his business, his house, his car. . . material things straightaway. I don't date fellows who do that right away either. He taught me lots of valuable things, though I didn't learn the materialism thing till later.

 

So, we're at the coffee shop and he's complaining how he doesn't drink caffeine and he didn't mean to meet AT the Starbucks, just near it. This is probably simply incompatibility. . . ah, but it gets worse.

 

Fellow says some bull**** from those Men are from Mars books, and goes on and on about how awesome it is, and I say that stuff isn't really my cuppa. He almost YELLS -- like to the point where people are staring -- manically his strange opinions. Which probably aren't that strange. What's strange is how insistent he is in talking about this.

 

This was after lots of tedious listening about his house, his business, and his car. And after noticing very clearly the hairline, even at 26, had started to recede a bit.

 

So, I said (again, I was young, I wouldn't do this again): "I find you kind of toxic, much more so than whatever toxins are in my latte" (this is a reference to his caffeine rant) and left. Finally. I should've left WAY earlier. He texted me that it was rude I didn't thank him for buying me the coffee. (I actually tried to pay for the coffee 3 times and didn't WANT this fellow to buy it but was getting tedious turning it down, and it's a DAMN COFFEE, man).

 

I think I got back together with the ex shortly after that date. Ah, well. I didn't date a lot until after college. I mostly kept the college boyfriend because dating seemed so unbearable (I did like him, and we're still friends, but he's totally not relationship material long-term in so many ways, and I had theoretically broken up with him at this point because I realized this). Now I find dating kind of fun, so it just depends on where/who you are, I guess.

Edited August 29, 2010 by zengirl