angelj Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Man for once I need some thoughts. Therea this guy, Matt. He's my best friends husbands cousin... try to follow me here We met two years ago at their wedding... we hit it off, hooked up whatever. I thought nothing of it, he lived far away and just ended things with his fiancée. A year and a half later, he found me via facebook and started striking up convo and major relationship chat. We had two dates, really hit it off. He told his fam about me, the cousin etc. The. He starts flaking out! Blames it on work, his new house, renovating stuff, working on the boat, guy crap. I figured he just wasn't into it I was a rebound. Long story short - he still messages me. He emails here and there with lengthy emails inviting me to tentative fishing trips, saying how work has been so overwhelming. He says he wants to hang but flakes. He drops a text weekly which I usually don't respond to anymore because I feel like it's out of boredom. He's got a recent history of selling the guys out too. I need to stop wishing he'd grow up and act more interested. I finally answered a text and he was very interested in what was new and what I've been up to and to mention how close his work was to my new home. He's still single... why is he still talking to me and dropping compliments and sweet random words? This is obviously bothering me. I'm usually so much better at this! Help? Thoughts?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 You're right, he's still acting really immature. If he'd previously broken up with his fiancee, that's an indication that he doesn't know what it is he wants. Perhaps he still wants to date and play the field. Obviously his indecisiveness is bothering you. You sound like a very down-to- earth girl wanting a long term relationship hence why it's all the more important you set boundaries about the sort the type of treatment you'd like to expect from others. In this case, " Matt" is being extremely inconsiderate. You know what you can do is tell him he should get his stuff together before contacting you. Tell him you're the type of girl who wants a serious relationship and to be treated more respectfully and you can't tolerate his behaviour. Also tell you're not hesitant to be friends with him but in the meantime if he really wants to be friends and want to hang out, he should only make plans when he actually decides to follow through with it. This way you're both calling out his actions and stating your needs as well. After that, you're free to ignore him.
Author angelj Posted August 25, 2010 Author Posted August 25, 2010 Thank you, that was very good advice. I am indeed a laid back girl with only the want of a long term relationship that is drama free. I'm approaching my 30s as is he, I don't really want to bother with nonsense. I've decided he doesn't know what he wants. He was actually dumped by the last chic. I suppose he just has t figured it out yet. But you're right, it's not fair I get stuck on the merry-go-round. Do you suggest I bring this up the next time he contacts me? Of course, the married girlfriends I have insist I ignore him but again, for once. I can't! How frustrating
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