artemisentreri Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 (edited) Hi all, So I've recently developed an interest in a girl and I'd like some advice and/or opinions on my situation. First, I'm 23 years old and in medical school and I started talking to this girl a lot over the past week. We had met in undergrad but not really been close or kept in touch and now she is a new med student. Anyways, we talked here and there and went to this bar with a group last Thursday and chatted and flirted for a bit. Last night we were on a small boat cruise for the med school students and we ended up dancing and chatting alone in this romantic spot by the water for about an hour. We were definitely flirty and a bit touchy but since there was alcohol involved I'm not sure how much of that was because we were drinking. So here's the thing: I was going to ask her for her number or to go on a date but we briefly separated and the cruise ended right after without us seeing each other again. It was stupid of me not to ask during all the time I had before (especially since I wasn't nervous) but I figured I would ask her at the end of the night. Now, I left the city and I'm across the country taking a vacation for a week and she doesn't know this. My friends seem to think (as do I) that if I don't ask soon I run the risk of entering the friend zone or of her thinking I'm not interested. Unfortunately, if I wait to ask in person, it's going to be by chance and in at least one week and perhaps more since we won't be in any of the same classes. Since we don't yet have each other's numbers, I can't call her. My other option is to ask her much sooner (i.e. today or tomorrow) via facebook. To me, that seems like a cop out because I definitely have the confidence to ask her in person. On the other hand, I want to clinch this while things seem to be going so well and not after one week plus of no contact. Maybe a well-worded fb message would be ok? Thoughts? Thanks! Edited August 25, 2010 by artemisentreri
Author artemisentreri Posted August 25, 2010 Author Posted August 25, 2010 If I do send a message, I was thinking something like the following: "Hey XXXX, Hope orientation's going well! I didn't get a chance to ask you earlier but I'd really like to take you out to dinner. I'm on vacation in Miami until classes start, would you be up for something next week? XXXXX" Any thoughts?
callingyouuu Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I say go for the Facebook message, while the embers are still warm. She knows that you don't have her number, so I don't think you'll lose confidence points for that. Good luck!
catersi Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 So yes i agree with the whole facebook thing but not in those words, be more casual about it, like for example: Hey xxxxxx, hows school? just wondering what exiting things ive missed lol btw i am out for another xx days but when i get back you should take me to starbucks lol maybe ill say yes, what do you think? - simple or Hey xxxxxxx, hows it going? anything ive missed at school, or beers ive missed out on? lol ( wait for response) and say, oh thats cool, well im having a blast on vacation myself (remember that you want to convey that what you are doing is much cooler and better than what she is doing whithout seeming like a bigtime showoff) well im gonna be back on xx day and when i get back im heading over to xxxxx (bar or club) maybe ill take you with me. (you are not asking and you give her the chance to jump on deck with you for the not-so-official invite) let me know how it works out.
Author artemisentreri Posted August 25, 2010 Author Posted August 25, 2010 Thanks for the advice guys. I'll go with the message and I'll try to make it less formal and more playful. I'll send it soon. Did you think dinner would be a bad thing to go to for a first date? I figure since we already just went dancing I'd want more time to talk (so no clubbing until another night). And yes, I'll definitely let you know how it goes!
lso802 Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I think it would be better to ask for her number on FB and call her to set up something.
Author artemisentreri Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 Well SUPER awkward... She posted back on my wall and wrote "awwww! " and no message. So I'm like....ok this is...good? And THEN I go to her fb and it turns out she has a boyfriend from college. This is so awkward. I don't know what to even say now.
callingyouuu Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Ouch! Sorry, dude. Unless if signals were just being misread, I find it interesting that she danced and flirted with you even though she had a boyfriend.
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