brianna Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 I recently got out of a 3 year relationship. My whole life, I think I have only developed actual feelings for 3 different people and have been in love once. I'm 22 years old. I am attracted to a few guys,but it's always so hard for me to really hit it off with someone. I just focus so much on certain people and can't motivate myself to care about anyone else. After my recent breakup, I really fell hard for one guy, I'll call him Kevin. I talked to him about everything. During my relationship of 3 years, Kevin always asked me to hang out, told me he like me, and even told me he was in love with me. I never agreed to hang out because I was in a relationship and knew my bf wouldn't like it either. Once I got out of my relationship (which was a rough break up) I hung out with Kevin a couple times. I fell hard for him and ended up sleeping with him. I feel like as soon as I developed strong feelings for him, he started to back off. I guess it had a lot to do with my current relationship drama. My ex was acting crazy and still calling nonstop. Besides that, I honestly don't know where I went wrong. I never wanted to jump into a relationship with him due to the current dating drama in my life; however, he stressed the fact that he wasn't looking to get into a relationship and was concentrating on school and himself. I don't think he even knew how I felt about him. I tried to tell him a couple times, and he responded by saying things like ' don't start liking me. ' my heart literally dropped. it felt horrible. he told me he liked me, but I can't have feelings for him? i tried to blow it off and came up with excuses for him. i knew he was busy with school and all, but his comments were throwing me off and making me so sad. Anyway, we continued talking as friends. He was supposed to move away this summer for work, and I agreed to keep some of his things that he was not able to take. Things ended up changing and he ended up moving about 5 minutes away from me. I met up with him in the beginning of the summer and gave some of his stuff back, but not all of it. I didn't care at the time because I figured I'd see him. But he never asked me to hang out, and I had a feeling he was dating someone. Through facebook, I found out he was sortof dating. It crushed me. I cried for days. I told him how I felt and he acted confused. I don't know how he ever could have been oblivious. I would have done absolutely anything for him. I hated myself. What did I do wrong and why am I not good enough? He kept saying we needed to talk, but we never did. He would randomly text me and say hi and things like 'i miss you' it made me so angry because if he did miss me, he would have saw me over the summer. One time he told me that he wanted to see me, but was afraid because he wanted to hook up wth me still, and he didnt think he should because he was sort of dating someone. We made plans to meet up one day and he ended up asking to change the time, then never answered me and blew me off. About a week after this, he got into a relationship. I've been crying constantly about it all because I don't understand any of it. What did I do wrong? Did I just miss every chance I ever could of had? What does this girl have that I don't? I care about him more than anything else, why am I not good enough? I don't ever want to see him again. I wish I never met him and I wish I could take back everything. The problem is, I still have his things. He keeps asking to talk, and I keep saying I dont want to. I dont want to lose him as a friend, but I'm literally in pain from this. I hate looking at his things I have in my house. I cry all the time over this. I go out with other guys, but nothing clicks...probably because all my feelings are for Kevin, who does not even think about me anymore. I know he's just going to fade out of my life and that idea kills me. We don't have any mutual good friends. I'm scared to lose him for good, but at the same time, it hurts so bad to look at him with another girl. What do I do? I have to give him his things back, but should I agree to talk? He's only going to give me his logical reasons for things. All I know are the facts: He can sleep with me, but I cant like him. He told me he didnt have time for a gf and then he got one. The facts are what hurts. I dont care about the whys. Do I just try to let him go? Or do I continue to smile and be nice? Someone please help me? I don't think I've ever been this hurt...
LosingitAll Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 I would take him his stuff from ur house. Get it out of ur sight. It sounds like he is just string u along. Probally not what u wanted to hear. I'm sorry for that u don't need to get hurt by someone blowing u off all the time.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 I wish I never met him and I wish I could take back everything... You need to show more regard for yourself and for your experiences than what is written above. It sounds like you're reasonable at letting your feelings for someone evolve, and that is going to take you a long way in future relationships, but you're just doing yourself no favors by wishing to erase some significant parts of your evolution. Soon you're going to figure out that Kevin isn't/wasn't that important to you, and the best way for that is to get out there and randomly encounter the next guy who WILL be very important to you.
Recommended Posts