SadandConfusedWA Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 I have been corresponding with a couple of guy for few weeks or so. We wrote VERY long messages at least once a day and we planned to meet. I realized earlier this week that there are incompatibility flags with both of them and I don't want to proceed with things. Guy # 1 is really rough around the edges. He is smart but in a kind of a raw way and I need someone more cultured. He is also 10 years older than me and that's something I would be willing to overlook for a really great guy but not here. Guy # 2 started talking about his body issues. How he is really skinny and was constantly teased about it. Now, I KNOW that I am just not attracted to very skinny guys. He also seems to have bult up bitterness from those experiences. So I didn't write to them for a couple of days and I got repeated messages asking me what's going on.... How should I tell them that I don't want to pursue things further in a sensitive way? Should I be specific?
Serenitynow Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Just ignore them, the same as every other inconsiderate b***h does on dating sites. Then when he wonders whats going on, lie and say . . "things have been crazy around here . . . . lol " I've got that same lame azz reply from 3 different women It must be in the female handbook .
USMCHokie Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 If you don't want to go down the complete ignore route, then just tell that you met someone else and want to see how it goes with that guy. That's the nature of online dating, and they should understand if they aren't insecure pricks...
Eeyore79 Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 I would go with USMChokie's suggestion of telling them you met someone and won't continue communicating because you want to see how things go with this other guy. It gets you off the hook without having to make them feel bad by detailing the reasons you don't want to continue talking to them. Pointing out why you don't want them will just dent their self esteem; a little white lie will save a lot of feelings.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 If you don't want to go down the complete ignore route, then just tell that you met someone else and want to see how it goes with that guy. That's the nature of online dating, and they should understand if they aren't insecure pricks... Good idea. I hate being ignored myself so I am trying to create some good karma
Serenitynow Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Good idea. I hate being ignored myself so I am trying to create some good karma Whats your excuse gonna be when the guy sees that you are still active on the dating site. You are assuming that guys are stupid and that he'll just accept whatever BS answer you give him. OF COURSE you think lying to him is the best choice It makes it easy on you, and thats all that matters isnt it .
USMCHokie Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Whats your excuse gonna be when the guy sees that you are still active on the dating site. This will be irrelevant since they will no longer be in contact...
Eeyore79 Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 It doesn't make it easy on her; it's just as easy for her to ignore the guys, or to write them a hurtful email pointing out all their faults. A decent person tries not to hurt someone's feelings unnecessarily; it's a lot easier on a guy to be told that a girl has met someone else than it is to be told he's being ditched because of x,y and z faults that are beyond his control. Sometimes a white lie is necessary in order to spare someone's feelings.
Serenitynow Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Its funny how you all see lying as the only way out, must be common. All she has to do is say thanks for talking with me but I feel we arent a match. Good Luck in your search. No lies No pointing out faults No nothing. I guess its just too difficult for the rest of you to come up with anything so simple, since you just want to lie and make it hard. .
atlnay Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 You can say thanks, but not interested. No explanations. If the want to know why, THEN you can be honest/direct/specific. To be honest a year from now you both wont even remember each other.
sagetalk Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Just be honest, "I'm sorry but I no longer feel we are compatible". If they can't handle that, then that's their problem not yours. Not telling them the truth is lame though.
kalikula Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Don't say you met someone, I think that's a bit more painful than just saying that you don't think you guys are compatible. I guess it depends on how much you guys talk. IE I had a guy tell me that that I liked, (He met someone) and that kind of hurt me more than just saying that he had fun but doesn't think it's going to work because of the distance or whatever (We were 4 hrs apart). Just be honest.
shadowplay Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 curious, are either that guy I mentioned to you?
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 curious, are either that guy I mentioned to you? Nope. I am still corresponding with the guy you suggested but things have more of a "friendly vibe" as there is no possibility to meet in the near future.
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