furbaby Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I dated this guy briefly like a year ago. Things didn't work out between us then because I was just getting out of a relationship. He told me how much he liked me, but I didn't feel the same. We decided not to date but we've remained friendly because we get along really well and have fun together. When we dated there was sexual tension and talk of sex, but we never did anything because I wasn't really into it. We've never kissed or been physical in any way aside from some cuddling. We've been hanging out more lately and there has been some sexual tension. We talked and decided we should just continue being friends, because I don't see how we'd be compatible in a relationship. He agreed and said that we should keep hanging out a lot, but as friends. I think he is very genuine about that and doesn't have any romantic attachment to me. The thing is, he still makes sexual comments to me and talks to me about sex (like, he'll ask me questions about things that I do or like). This sex talk has become more frequent since we decided to go the friend route. I don't mind it; I also tend to have kind of a dirty sense of humor. But sometimes it turns me on, and I'm not sure what to think of that. It makes me wonder if it's possible for us to just forever be friends and never have sex. We're both attracted to one another on some level, and we're both sexual people. Can a man and woman just be friends?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 No, not unless the both of you are attached and unavailable to each other. This question does not have a universal answer, becasue different circumstances and situations will arise that will... propell two parties together. In your case, you're somewhat sexually attracted to him, but you feel that the history the two of you have together cancels out any chance of a renewed romance.
zengirl Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Sure, a man and a woman can just be friends. But: If you have to wonder if you can just be friends with a particular fellow, you probably can't. Especially if you hang out and talk about sex together.
alexlakeman Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Yes and no... I had one ex gf that we became best of freinds, with zero sexual interest...for years...zip / nada... I had a second ex gf which we became freinds afterwards... that didn't work too well, there still attraction, one day went for drinks and we ended up sleeping together and cheating on the the-current gf... sh.it happpens.
Author furbaby Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 It's weird because I've had guy friends where there was no sexual attraction, guy friends where one or both of us was taken, or guy friends who were ex-boyfriends and whatever flame had eventually fizzled. But never friends with someone who I was attracted to but didn't have sex with. It just makes me wonder if things can stay platonic, and I wonder what he's thinking about it. Oh well.
dispatch3d Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 They can be friends yes. Not in this context though. He's looking for some type of relationship and you are trying to avoid one. I think hanging out with him more is just leading him on. I would definitely advise you to keep him at arms length+ keep things clear for both your sakes. If you want to try dating again go ahead and do that. Don't put him in limbo land because you are unsure, and sometimes feel a spark. It's really really not fair to him if he likes you (and he does).
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