JessaL Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 I'm really irritated because my bf went out of town for the weekend - I took him to the airport at like 7am on Friday - and he sucks at communicating. The trip is actually to the city I moved from, and he is going to see a friend he hasn't seen in awhile with another friend who he sees all the time. Basically, they are getting super wasted all weekend (first point of irritation). He sent me a text when his plane landed, and even though I responded after that, I didn't hear from him again until this afternoon when he texted "goooood moorrrrnning" to one of my cell phones. When I didn't respond (busy) he called my phone...then called my other phone, left a voicemail, and texted "gooood morrrnning" to that phone also, all within the span of 10 mins (and he knew what my plans were for today and that I would be busy working on a project). Since he kept calling/texting both phones I finally stopped what I was doing and called him back - he ignored my call and called me back a minute later - asked what I was up to, asked what I did last night, said he missed me, told me what place he was at getting breakfast (in the ****ing afternoon ), since it's a place we ate at, and got off the phone with me, all without giving me a chance to ask what he had done last night (he and I both have a problem with his drinking, and he knows I'm uncomfortable with this trip due to the people he is visiting). I know this is ridiculous of me, but I'm kind of like what the hell did you do wrong last night that you're blowing up my phone when you finally get up today. It's like he's trying to make sure I'm not mad at him or something. I hadn't sent him any messages after my last one yesterday because he never responded to it. I wish I wasn't like this
2sunny Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 wow, that's a ton of controlling behavior on your part that is making a lot of assumptions. why not just be glad he's corresponding? and why the heck must he call your "multiple phones"? isn't one phone enough? he actually made an effort to reach out and you shut him down by ignoring him... getting back to him when it was good for you. then you blame him? he was making an effort! why does this all look backwards to me?
sagetalk Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 Women who don't like drama date boring men. This is the reason why so many boring men are single.
Author JessaL Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 (edited) wow, that's a ton of controlling behavior on your part that is making a lot of assumptions. why not just be glad he's corresponding? and why the heck must he call your "multiple phones"? isn't one phone enough? he actually made an effort to reach out and you shut him down by ignoring him... getting back to him when it was good for you. then you blame him? he was making an effort! why does this all look backwards to me? I guess you missed the part where I said I wish I wasn't like this? The rest of your post makes no sense to me, as I didn't state that he "must call my multiple phones" - in fact I was wondering why he couldn't just text ONE of them and wait for me to respond when I had a second - "good morning" isn't really a pressing text that calls for an immediate response. I'm actually painting the house today, which he knows, so I can't just drop everything to run to my phone. So I didn't "shut him down" by "ignoring him". Rather, he knew what I was doing and called both phones multiple times and sent multiple "good morning" texts in the span of 10 minutes - which is WEIRD and I don't understand why he was doing that. I called him back about 15 mins after the first text he sent, after I had a chance to put my stuff down and clean my hands off. Also, I sent him two texts yesterday that he didn't respond to at all, ever. LOL I know I have problems, but not with the things you're pointing out. Edited August 21, 2010 by JessaL
2sunny Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 let's break it down for clarity and why i posted what i did... =JessaL;2953913I'm really irritated because my bf went out of town for the weekend - you are irritated because he intends to live a little... I took him to the airport at like 7am on Friday this was nice of you! - and he sucks at communicating. maybe? maybe not... assumption. The trip is actually to the city I moved from, and he is going to see a friend he hasn't seen in awhile with another friend who he sees all the time. Basically, they are getting super wasted all weekend (first point of irritation). assumption... He sent me a text when his plane landed, good communicator... and even though I responded after that, your delay, not his... I didn't hear from him again until this afternoon when he texted "goooood moorrrrnning" to one of my cell phones. he's communicating again... When I didn't respond (busy) he called my phone...then called my other phone, left a voicemail, and texted "gooood morrrnning" to that phone also, all within the span of 10 mins (and he knew what my plans were for today and that I would be busy working on a project). still more effort and action on his part - even tho YOU haven't taken action yet with him. hmmm Since he kept calling/texting both phones more action from his end... hmmm I finally stopped what I was doing and called him back - he ignored my call and called me back a minute later - asked what I was up to, asked what I did last night, said he missed me, told me what place he was at getting breakfast (in the ****ing afternoon ), you finally took action... then he was interested enough to ask about YOU (more effort on his part). hmmm since it's a place we ate at, and got off the phone with me, all without giving me a chance to ask what he had done last night (he and I both have a problem with his drinking, and he knows I'm uncomfortable with this trip due to the people he is visiting). IF you were interested - you could have asked about HIM - but you talked of yourself... and he was kind enough to ASK about YOU. hmmm I know this is ridiculous of me, but I'm kind of like what the hell did you do wrong last night that you're blowing up my phone when you finally get up today. It's like he's trying to make sure I'm not mad at him or something. these are all assumptions on your part. he IS making an effort to reach out to you. that is loving behavior. I hadn't sent him any messages after my last one yesterday because he never responded to it. ok then, YOU may want to make an effort at loving communication - knowing he's having fun with friends and see how his time is panning out. I wish I wasn't like this i know - it's ok... i hope my assessment helps with some clarity from a non emotional, non judgmental, non agenda perspective.
Author JessaL Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 let's break it down for clarity and why i posted what i did... you are irritated because he intends to live a little... True, but more so because he "lives a little" out of town every other weekend the last 2 months and has plans to do so for the next two months. Literally every other weekend. ok then, YOU may want to make an effort at loving communication - knowing he's having fun with friends and see how his time is panning out. Sent him a message asking him and he ignored it. I see what you're saying I think? That I'm choosing to perceive/focus on negative things that could be interpreted positively?
Minnie09 Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 He probably got wasted, since he does have a history of getting wasted. He knows you have a problem with him getting wasted. So he wanted to show you he is thinking of you, trying to block any angry feelings from your side in advance. He may be feeling guilty or not, only he knows the answer to that. But he definitely wants to try to prevent drama by initiating communication proactively.
Author JessaL Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 True, but more so because he "lives a little" out of town every other weekend the last 2 months and has plans to do so for the next two months. Literally every other weekend, and he drinks so much that he blacks out and does ridiculous things.
2sunny Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 True, but more so because he "lives a little" out of town every other weekend the last 2 months and has plans to do so for the next two months. Literally every other weekend, and he drinks so much that he blacks out and does ridiculous things. ok, so what is attractive about a guy that you have to worry and wonder about? IF he has a drinking problem - HE is the only one who can change that for HIMSELF by getting intensive help. believe me, it's not easy and the person with the problem has to WANT it. YOU can only make decisions for YOU. either date him knowing that this is what you get - or don't date him knowing that you aren't willing to tolerate the behavior that comes with his active disease. YOU have choices. make them in YOUR best interest.
alexlakeman Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 LOL, sounds like he got laid or has more fun with his buddies than with you
2sunny Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 LOL, sounds like he got laid or has more fun with his buddies than with you now where in the post does it indicate in ANY way they he got laid? or has MORE fun with someone else....? helpful is usually what is required here, helpful... not hurtful.
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