KingCrimson Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Met her online. We went out on 4 dates(no sex, just kissed), and chatted frequently online on top of that. Anyways, she ended up bailing, strung me along for over a week until i finally got the friendship spiel. I told her: "It's ok, I have enough friends already. Take care". This was all a month and a half ago. A week later, she IMs me saying hi. I don't reply, msg her back 2 days later "hey what'd you need?". She says "oh nothing just saying hi" to which I don't reply. A few weeks after this, she msg's me again saying "Hey!". I was drunk/with friends/in a jolly mood so I casually say "hey whats up with you". She asks me what I've been up to. I mention blah blah, she says "cool that's exciting blah blah stupid blah blah that's exciting!" Says she's been doing "blah blah boring blah blah". I leave it at that. A few small talk text messages back and forth. I don't want to ****ing be her chat buddy. Now she messages me AGAIN, with some link to a website she thought was funny. wtf? I haven't replied yet. What does she want? I don't want to talk to her unless we're hooking up or dating. I'm considering just telling her this straight up. "Hey that's cool, but listen. I don't know why you still message me. I'm not interested in being your chat buddy unless we're hooking up or dating. peace!". I have nothing to lose.
GorillaTheater Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 What does she want? 1) To relieve her guilt by ensuring that you're not mad or don't think she's a bad reason. In other words, selfishness. 2) Because she likes the attention. Ditto the selfishness. 3) To make sure you're still on the back-burner in case any new relationship she has doesn't work out. Same.
AverageJoe Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 1) To relieve her guilt by ensuring that you're not mad or don't think she's a bad reason. In other words, selfishness. 2) Because she likes the attention. Ditto the selfishness. 3) To make sure you're still on the back-burner in case any new relationship she has doesn't work out. Same. This. And the fact she likes the ego boost. I would recommend doing what you suggested. End that nonesense.
Author KingCrimson Posted August 20, 2010 Author Posted August 20, 2010 1) To relieve her guilt by ensuring that you're not mad or don't think she's a bad reason. In other words, selfishness. 2) Because she likes the attention. Ditto the selfishness. 3) To make sure you're still on the back-burner in case any new relationship she has doesn't work out. Same. Yea, I'm not down for any of those. As I had told her the first time "it's cool, I already have enough friends. have a nice life" or something like that. Should I just ignore her now? Or, like two of my buddies told me, I can have fun with this. One of my friends told me this is the time he'd say the most ridiculous ****, see if it works. Be a complete *******. Say stuff I wouldn't have said to her in the beginning. What do I have to lose now? I dont even really want this girl now.
GorillaTheater Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 1) To relieve her guilt by ensuring that you're not mad or don't think she's a bad reason. Change "reason" to "person". Sometimes I get to typing too fast.
GorillaTheater Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Yea, I'm not down for any of those. As I had told her the first time "it's cool, I already have enough friends. have a nice life" or something like that. Should I just ignore her now? Or, like two of my buddies told me, I can have fun with this. One of my friends told me this is the time he'd say the most ridiculous ****, see if it works. Be a complete *******. Say stuff I wouldn't have said to her in the beginning. What do I have to lose now? I dont even really want this girl now. I'd just ignore her. Who needs extra bullsh*t in their lives?
BobSacamento Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 I would respond with: "Want to come over?" And that's it. Anything else she blabs on with ignore. Then if she says yes. Have alcohol and a boring movie ready.
BS76 Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Met her online. We went out on 4 dates(no sex, just kissed), and chatted frequently online on top of that. Anyways, she ended up bailing, strung me along for over a week until i finally got the friendship spiel. I told her: "It's ok, I have enough friends already. Take care". This was all a month and a half ago. A week later, she IMs me saying hi. I don't reply, msg her back 2 days later "hey what'd you need?". She says "oh nothing just saying hi" to which I don't reply. A few weeks after this, she msg's me again saying "Hey!". I was drunk/with friends/in a jolly mood so I casually say "hey whats up with you". She asks me what I've been up to. I mention blah blah, she says "cool that's exciting blah blah stupid blah blah that's exciting!" Says she's been doing "blah blah boring blah blah". I leave it at that. A few small talk text messages back and forth. I don't want to ****ing be her chat buddy. Now she messages me AGAIN, with some link to a website she thought was funny. wtf? I haven't replied yet. What does she want? I don't want to talk to her unless we're hooking up or dating. I'm considering just telling her this straight up. "Hey that's cool, but listen. I don't know why you still message me. I'm not interested in being your chat buddy unless we're hooking up or dating. peace!". I have nothing to lose. You ran textbook game not playing into her frame. She realized you're a better option that whatever it was that caught her attention for that month she was gone and now she wants another stab at you. Where you failed teh first time was you didn't sexually escalate enough from the sounds of it. Just talking and kissing over 4 dates? She was ready for more, and you dragging her feat likely caused her to seek out other options. Now that those have gone away she's coming back for more attention from you. What you need to be careful of is that she's just playing you for attention/validation and isn't going to reciprocate. Best thing to do in order to guage her intentions it to have her meet up with you one night when you're out with the guys. Get a few beers in her and put the moves on her and see how she reacts. If she wants sex she'll be good to go. If not, she'll put the breaks on and possibly bail.
Sphere Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 I'd delete her number and ignore her, she isn't worth the time of day.
AverageJoe Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Yea, I'm not down for any of those. As I had told her the first time "it's cool, I already have enough friends. have a nice life" or something like that. Should I just ignore her now? Or, like two of my buddies told me, I can have fun with this. One of my friends told me this is the time he'd say the most ridiculous ****, see if it works. Be a complete *******. Say stuff I wouldn't have said to her in the beginning. What do I have to lose now? I dont even really want this girl now. I couldnt be bothered with her. But I have to admit, I have done this before. Twice. I said some of the most outrageous things you could imagine. One couldnt get enough of it, and the other thought I was a complete prick and that took care of things in itself. Didnt her from her again, case closed.
meerkat stew Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Agree with bobsacamento, I think she may be booty calling/texting you, and/or whatever crush she had 1.5 months ago has fled. Truth is you just never know, and when they start doing what you describe, a direct but polite sexual come-on is best to cut through all the BS.
somedude81 Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 I would respond with: "Want to come over?" And that's it. Anything else she blabs on with ignore. Then if she says yes. Have alcohol and a boring movie ready. Pretty much the best course of action. Nothing to lose and plenty to gain.
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