hayley-1989 Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Ok, so me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years and we're now nearly 21! We've been at uni for a year and our relationship as it stands now is great!! what do you guys think about open relationships though? We've only ever been with each other and we're so scared that we'll regret never experimenting! I here all the time that you should experiment, especially men...so that they know what to do in the bedroom by the time they're older! My boyfriend is great in the bedroom, i have nothing to compare it to obviously...but he knows which buttons to press!!! Besides..we've had 5 years to practice!!! But i'm worried for mine and his relationship and life experience if we only have each other!!! Is it going to totally distory it? My mums friends who have got married when they were young and are now in their 40s, are all getting divorced! For the record....me and him havn't got married, nor intend to...for MANY MANY years. decades even. I should also mention we go to separate unis! thankyou!!
O'Malley Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Who brought it up? Your relationship is like anyone else's who has had more sexual experience --- you will either mature and remain compatible, or you will come to a crossroads and move on from each other. Many relationships don't transition well from late adolescence/early twenties because feelings and priorities change more significantly. Having sexual experiences with other people isn't going to strengthen your feelings, or shore you up against regrets or uncertainties down the road. An open relationship and swinging are separate things (you seem to be thinking about swinging, which carries it's own hazards). What generally occurs is that you will end up in a relationship where you have given each other permission to cheat, both sexually and emotionally. If you both still feel the need to explore this, I'd strongly suggest hiring a professional...and discussing exactly what acts are allowed and what is off limits. Personally I think you're going into this for exactly the wrong reasons.
AverageJoe Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 If you both still feel the need to explore this, I'd strongly suggest hiring a professional...and discussing exactly what acts are allowed and what is off limits. Personally I think you're going into this for exactly the wrong reasons. Hire a professional? Shes 21! Are you kidding me? At 21 you have no reason to be in a relationship, you have a future to think about. Get your degree, be smart. Dont let some boy get you all worked up and allow yourself to lose sight of that. Different uni's? Great, break up with him. If you were meant to be you can work it out after you have a career path. Its college, have fun without him looming around.
O'Malley Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Hire a professional? Shes 21! Are you kidding me? What part of my advice not endorsing this 'open relationship' idea did you not understand? And 21 is far above the age of consent, for relationships, swinging and other things. Most people experience relationships in university, whether they are serious or not....
AverageJoe Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 What part of my advice not endorsing this 'open relationship' idea did you not understand? And 21 is far above the age of consent, for relationships, swinging and other things. Most people experience relationships in university, whether they are serious or not.... O'Malley I apologize, I misunderstood you. You meant a different kind of professional. I will still have to say, she is 21 years old and really has no reason to be in a relationship. As far as swinging goes, thats impossible. They are at two different universities. Neither of them will be involved with each other. I think she should find out these things on her own. I have known and know many people at 21 years old that have no businness being in a relationship, at that age you just dont have the life experience or emotional stability to be successful in life choices while maintaining a relationship. Especially, in her situation.
carhill Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 OP, your kind of 'open' relationship will simply be dating other guys, perhaps having sex with them and he doing the same where he is. It's called being single. Monogamy, emotional or sexual, at your age is nearly impossible in such circumstances so just let it go. If you visit each other and feel the same sexual pull, act on that, but no promises of forever. If forever comes, like you said in years of decades, it will. Enjoy the company and fruits of other young men and build strong emotional ties with fellow women; friendships which will last you a lifetime and will later help you build a healthy relationship with a man. I happened to marry a partner with many times the sexual partners that I had and, for all her 'experience' she was decidedly not confident in the bedroom. Numbers have nothing to do with how one feels and expresses their sexuality and, most importantly, their love for their partner. Sex isn't a contest that one wins, though it probably seems that way at your age. The next decade will teach you many things. Be safe and good luck with your education
Recommended Posts