buzzie2 Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 There is this guy from work that I really like and I know he likes me too. We are both very shy and reserved people so neither of us has asked the other out. So so far we are just being friends and taking the same class outside of work together. He seems to be okay with this. It it always a good idea to take things slow in the beginning and get to know each other as friends first?
USMCHokie Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 In general, I would say friends first only works if you're the girl...if you're the guy, you gotta ask her out early and establish your romantic intentions... Do you even want to date this guy...? What's stopping you from asking him out...?
Author buzzie2 Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 I would like to date him very much, but what is stopping me from asking him out is fear of rejection. I thought for sure last year that this other guy liked me and I asked him out and found out he already had a gf. That is why I want to get to know him first as friends so I don't embarrass myself again. Also the fact that we work at the same company you always worry about the rumour mill and gossip.
USMCHokie Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 I am a strong proponent of the "don't sh*t where you eat" policy...and how would being friends first help you see if he likes you...? Are you all in high school or something...? You're adults, so act like adults... And don't be afraid of rejection...seriously...
Philetus Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Hokie is right. As the song says, "You've only one life to live", so how do you want to live it? Alone and afraid? Or boldly? Since you work together, is there not someone else you can ask if he's seeing someone? You could drop strong hints... "Hey, you have any plans this weekend? Me, I'm just gonna be sitting around. Wish I had something going on though. You wanna hang out?" (Ask like the thought just occurred to you.) You're not REALLY asking him out and if he says, 'no' you know he's not into you.
EasyHeart Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 I'd be even more direct. When you're talking and flirting with him, just smile, bat your eyelashes and say, "So are you ever going to ask me out?" He's either going to say something like, "Yeah, I've just been waiting for the right time" and you're good to go OR he's going to say, "No, I don't think that would be a good idea" and you'll know he's not interested and you can move on.
denise_xo Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 I don't know if it's always good to take it slow in the beginning, because I never have but jokes aside: I agree with the other posters here who say make a move. But based on your previous experience (and instead of planning for some long slow friendship first), before you ask him out, find out if he's got a gf - just ask some casual question that will get the info out of him. Then if he's single, just go for it. And don't worry about the rumours and gossip-bulls#¤, you're not doing anything wrong.
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