nes9 Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 (edited) So a couple weeks back I went home with this girl to her apartment and we kissed/fooled around a bit. The next morning we were still cuddling/kissing and stuff so I thought the girl must be into me and wasn't just looking for a hookup. A couple days later, I asked her to go to the beach and she said she had to be up early the next day and couldn't. I gave it another shot and called her this past saturday to come to a party but she didn't answer her phone. At this point I decided I should just write it off because she wasn't showing any interest. Three days later, she messaged me online (which she had never done. it was always me that messaged her online to talk until this time) and apologized for not answering her phone, saying she was "really bad with answering her phone." I don't know what to make of this situation; whether or not the girl is into me? If she had no interest in hanging out with me, why would she even bother apologizing for not answering/returning my call? My friend seems to think I may be "on the back burner" and that she has other prospects, but doesn't want to completely blow me off because she is interested in me somewhat. Makes sense I guess. Any other ideas? Any advice on what I should do? I am debating giving up on this girl, but at the same time I feel like I shouldn't quit too easily. Edited August 18, 2010 by nes9
bobdole Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 It is debatable.. Could be into you or be putting you on the back burner. I would just ask her directly.. "I like you and want to get to know you better. How do you feel about me?" or whatever you style is.
Author nes9 Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 It is debatable.. Could be into you or be putting you on the back burner. I would just ask her directly.. "I like you and want to get to know you better. How do you feel about me?" or whatever you style is. Think I should wait a while before trying to contact her to avoid coming on too strong? She just apologized for the phone call thing online last night.
AverageJoe Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 She had to get up early the next morning? Oh please, get up the next morning my ass. If a girl is into you she wants to see you again not give you a lame excuse like that. Its very possible she lost attraction to you because you spent the night with her and never made a move. Sure you might have made out and what not but only to get her worked up then left her deflated like a balloon. Believe it or not this does happen, I have seen it. That or she thinks your gay.
YellowShark Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 A couple days later, I asked her to go to the beach and she said she had to be up early the next day and couldn't. Ok. That's not a big deal. I gave it another shot and called her this past saturday to come to a party but she didn't answer her phone. At this point I decided I should just write it off because she wasn't showing any interest. Yes. She is showing that her "interest level" is zero. Three days later, she messaged me online (which she had never done. it was always me that messaged her online to talk until this time) and apologized for not answering her phone, saying she was "really bad with answering her phone. It doesn't take three days to respond with today's technology. A quick text the next day would have proved interest. Since she didn't reply for three days she is again showing that her "interest level" is zero. Any other ideas? Any advice on what I should do? I am debating giving up on this girl, but at the same time I feel like I shouldn't quit too easily. When a woman has a high "interest level" she is pro-active in contacting you and returning your communications. When her "interest level" is very low she is doing what this girl is doing to you. If she can't meet you on a certain day, and her "interest level" is high, she will give you a counter offer to meet another time. If she can't meet you on a certain day, and her "interest level" is low, she will NOT give you a counter offer to meet another time. Sounds like she was cool to fool around that one night but has other irons in the fire. So you need to stand down and keep dating other women. Don't waste your time on women who exhibit a low "interest level." It's a waste of money and effort. Good luck.
Author nes9 Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 She had to get up early the next morning? Oh please, get up the next morning my ass. If a girl is into you she wants to see you again not give you a lame excuse like that. Its very possible she lost attraction to you because you spent the night with her and never made a move. Sure you might have made out and what not but only to get her worked up then left her deflated like a balloon. Believe it or not this does happen, I have seen it. That or she thinks your gay. Didn't go down like that my man. We didn't just make out. I did make a move and she didn't want to have sex because she had just met me. Not all girls **** the first night.
Author nes9 Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 It doesn't take three days to respond with today's technology. A quick text the next day would have proved interest. Since she didn't reply for three days she is again showing that her "interest level" is zero. Thanks for the advice. I do agree that her interest level is probably low. The part that confuses me is why did she even bother to waste her time apologizing and talking to me 3 days later if she has zero interest? She easily could have apologized the next day like you said but she didn't. Clearly it had been on her mind for the few days or she wouldn't have bothered at all. What do you think?
BannaBee57 Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Why don't you try inviting her out for an activity a few days in advance? Asking her to hang out the day of the activity is actually signifying your "low interest" in my opinion. She might think she's on your backburner and you called her as a last resort. I'd tend to feel that way too if a guy I "fooled around" with asked me out only hours beforehand on 2 occasions.
AverageJoe Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 It doesn't take three days to respond with today's technology. A quick text the next day would have proved interest. Since she didn't reply for three days she is again showing that her "interest level" is zero. What do you care? Why are you fixating on just her? You are making this all about you and what you potentially did wrong. Pal, why are you not out meeting other people other than her? Jesus Christ I dont get some people. From your post this was two weeks ago from what I understand. TWO WEEKS! She is nothing more than a microcosm in your life. Do you not put more value on yourself in regards to a simple two week interaction from someone you got attention from?
ViciousViolet Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 You're on her backburner. Some other guy didn't work out like she wanted so she hit you up and used the same, played out excuse of "being busy." I wouldn't say this is a terrible thing. It is common for people to date multiple people at once, and sometimes you get stuck in the back until it is your time to shine. I can just tell you that as a girl, if I'm really feeling a guy, I return his calls/texts well before three days.
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