backadit Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I was just reading the Why are single men generally more bitter than single women? thread and it was a great recap of the war of the sexes, but as usual, nothing was resolved. No one budged on thier positions and in the end it just stirred up a lot of arguing. So without starting another diatribe, what are women looking for? Honestly, my past has lead to a... well I guess for a lack of a better word mysoginistic view of women. I don't like a lot of the views that I have but they have been reaffirmed at every turn. I know I have too much experience in the criminally insane examples of the opposite gender. (without whining about it a quick overview: wife #1 claimed was raped by every male that came across her path, only to find out she was cheating and willing to send anyone that she slept with to jail to keep from coming clean. Wife #2 INSANELY CONTROLLING and manipulative and nothing but Jerry Springer-esque baby mama drama.) Now that I am back in the field I really want to change these views, but it is difficult when the past thirteen years are compounded with sneers and glares at my audacity for saying hi to a woman. I don't have the time to date right now, as much as I crave a normal relationship:(. I will try just talking to a woman and her automatic shields go up. Then I constantly hear "men won't start a conversation" or "all they want is sex." It seems so many women are just as jaded as men. I would like to get my own $#!t together regarding women before I start dating. But where do I start? I don't want another "all men's fault" or "all women's fault" thread. I believe all humans in general are screwed up and let's not beat our heads into the wall some more over it. "I have seen a great many things and have a great understanding of all of them...except women" Albert Einstein All that I want in the OS: A sane woman, who wants to enjoy herself and have fun with me. Attractive, and no not pin up "perfection" been there done that, and Barney's (neil patrick harris) crazy to hot scale is dead on, sorry ladies;). So what do women want?
that girl Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I never understand how some men manage to become so hateful of women. Even if you have a crappy dating life, don't you have nice women in your life (mothers, sisters, cousins, friend's girlfriends, coworkers)? Some people probably are so unfortunate that they don't have any examples like that, but most of the time I think it is a combination of disliking women out of fear and not considering women they wouldn't date as women. If you have two totally psycho ex wives, odds are you are part of the issue. You chose to walk down the aisle with them. So first I think you should really consider who you are drawn to and maybe think about a therapist (not because you're broken or anything but a professional might be able to point out patterns). Women are pretty much always going to have their shields up when a random man starts chatting them up. It doesn't even have anything to do with who you are or what you look like. She doesn't know you aren't a creep or a scammer. Either you need to stop taking it personally or move away from chatting random women up in person. I don't think men are from venus and women are from mars. I think sometimes people have a hard time understanding the other person's perspective. But when you start assuming women are these mysterious, unknowable creatures you're making it less likely that things will work out. If you want to know why women aren't more welcoming to strange men talking to them, ask women you know what their worst experience with a random guy coming up to them has been.
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