vanek26 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 So, I've tangled with a handful of women over the past 6-7 months and think I have learned quite a bit. I'm starting to understand the delicate balancing act of how to get them interested and keep them enticed to me. But the problem is, I can never get any of them to want a relationship with me! constant communication? no problem! Random hook ups? any time! Sex? Sure! But nobody wants the "relationship" title. That brings me to my most recent prospect. We met about a month ago. Unlike most of the girls I've met, she is pretty shy and inexperienced. In fact, she's a virgin, which for some reason makes me feel more comfortable. I'm very attracted to her and we have amazing conversations. In fact, I didn't even consider her a serious prospect until I took her out to dinner and we had a captivating chat for hours. We've went on about 6 or 7 dates now, and we chat every day without fail. We've done dinner, movies, ice cream, mini golf, etc. We have made out, and that's as far as we've gone. We have both told each other that "I really like you" so that's a good step. I think I'm ready to tell her I want us to be exclusive. I just don't know how to approach it. Her birthday was a few days ago and I wrote her a very heartfelt note which she called "the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her," which was flattering but also made me worried she was creeped out. And there enlies my paranoia. I know if I come on too strong, she will feel trapped and shy away. But if I'm wishy washy, we may never get to the next step. So, how do you ask a girl to be exclusive without sounding desperate? It's counter-intuitive in a way... because admitting I don't want to be with any other girls may make me seem clingy or desperate. But what can I say... I long for the regularity of committed love. Is that so wrong to strive for? I'm taking her out tonight for a romantic stroll and I want to bring the issue up. Any tips?
Feelin Frisky Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Yeah. Don't keep second-guessing yourself. It seems like you're on your way with her. Just be gentle and ask if there is anyone else and if not would she consider being an official couple. It seems like she's already given you the right signs.
GorillaTheater Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I don't know. FF could well be right, but only one month into the relationship seems a little quick for The Talk. Has she given you any indicators that she'd like to be exclusive? If so, then sure, what the hell. If not, you may want to wait a bit. Yeah, it's all about that "delicate balance" thing.
Author vanek26 Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 Yeah, we have kissed. Quite a bit. She wanted me to meet her mother the last time we went out which went extremely well. And we've had exchanges where I say "i'm falling for you" and she says "well that is definitely a good thing ;)" so all of that makes me feel pretty good about the situation. However, there is something she told me a couple of days aago that worries me. I asked her if she considered us exclusive and without hesitation she said no. She was like "I mean, i have no desire to be with other guys though." And she asked if I would hook up with other girls if given the chance and I said "probably not." "Yeah right!" was her reply. So was that her way of saying she wants to just be friends with benefits? Or is it her kind of daring me to make us official?
Author vanek26 Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 any last minute tips before i head out? D:
AverageJoe Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I may be a bit late to the party, but dude. Really? She has complete control of you already, you are throwing everything in her ball park. I wouldnt say a word about it, if it were me. Whats the damn hurry anyway?
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