Why are single men generally more bitter than single women?

[carhill]

I'd rather not be approached at all than be approached by men I'm not interested in!

Question, presuming unknowns, meaning yourself and any potential have not had prior contact: How do you know you're interested in a man *until* he approaches you?

 

I must be even uglier then i think i am..Ive never been approached

 

LOL, other than the aforementioned alcoholic married women, me neither. Hey, maybe that's a good thing

Edited August 18, 2010 by carhill

[Gallaxia]

To put you on the defensive--to make you feel bad because "you hurt her feelings" even though you weren't even making a point directed at anyone in particular.

 

An age-old tactic of women.

 

Actually the entire thread is another twist on the same tactic. See how clever the OP is by framing the question, "Why are men so bitter?" If you "bite" at that, you're immediately on the defensive because, after all--you're assumed to be a "bitter man" and then have to justify it.

 

OP could just as well have framed her question thusly: "Why is it so many women in the 'dating world' are cold, castrating b*tches who seemingly get their jollies by abusing men?"

 

Do you get how "the game" is played by the ladies yet?

 

It is a bit loaded though, no?

 

Um, not all ladies! And- Oh the irony!!! You just generalized about OP generalizing!

Edited August 18, 2010 by Gallaxia

[TheBigQuestion]

Youve been approached by women numerous times and most Men you know have?

 

I must be even uglier then i think iam..Ive never been approached

 

Virtually every man I know has rejected a female's advance or spurned a female's interest at least once.

[PJKino]

Virtually every man I know has rejected a female's advance or spurned a female's interest at least once.

 

Damn..

 

Well theres a reason i stay out of the dating market..Im not wanted

[TheBigQuestion]

Damn..

 

Well theres a reason i stay out of the dating market..Im not wanted

 

Does this seriously bother you? Where is the virtue in men having no standards at all?

[carhill]

Wide highway of potentials and experiences. I share PJKino's perspective. It's been a lot of years.... oh, crap, I just remembered another married woman, and she was drinking when making 'suggestions' over the phone. God, now it's three.

 

Anyway, specifically speaking, I cannot recall spurning any 'advances', nor do I recall clearly receiving any. Yes, a lot of women have been friendly over the years. Most were/are married or attached. None 'suggested' anything relevant to 'getting together' nor flirted in any meaningful way, and I'm pretty sensitive to that, given that I would sometimes look at stbx and go 'hey, your friend is flirting with me, WTF?' Never happened as a single man. I also don't recall being bitter about it. Sad perhaps, non-specifically (without understanding where it was coming from), but not bitter. I still asked ladies out and dated. It didn't occur to me that something specific was missing.

Edited August 18, 2010 by carhill

[PJKino]

Does this seriously bother you? Where is the virtue in men having no standards at all?

 

I do have standards but when youre not wanted that much in the dating scene they can only be so high

[PJKino]

Wide highway of potentials and experiences. I share PJKino's perspective. It's been a lot of years.... oh, crap, I just remembered another married woman, and she was drinking when making 'suggestions' over the phone. God, now it's three.

 

Anyway, specifically speaking, I cannot recall spurning any 'advances', nor do I recall clearly receiving any. Yes, a lot of women have been friendly over the years. Most were/are married or attached. None 'suggested' anything relevant to 'getting together' nor flirted in any meaningful way, and I'm pretty sensitive to that, given that I would sometimes look at stbx and go 'hey, your friend is flirting with me, WTF?' Never happened as a single man. I also don't recall being bitter about it. Sad perhaps, non-specifically (without understanding where it was coming from), but not bitter. I still asked ladies out and dated. It didn't occur to me that something specific was missing.

 

Yeah ive been with one women[my best friends wifes best friend] who slept with me while drunk and told me in a text the next day she only slept with me becasue she was drunk and was not attracted to me

 

Otherwise ive just been totally ignored..Never had a women show interest..Never had a buddys girlfriend or wife suggest one of her friends for me but did with other guys within our social circle..

 

Im clearly not attractive to women so instead of wasting the girls time and mine i dont even try to find a women anymore..

 

Dont feel like getting rejected by hundred of women in hopes one may say yes becasue she has no other options or bioligcal clock is ticking..

Edited August 18, 2010 by PJKino

[Sanman]

I agree with much of what has been said here. Not having the right options makes some women frustrated with dating and not having any options makes some men bitter about everything. The other thing to take into account is the way dating happens now. Women generally have a narrower choice of options (the men who are interested and approach them), but they know where they stand in the scheme of things (even if they don't like it). Nowadays, they need to be careful of players who may be more attractive/charming and are takng up multiple women's time. Men, on the other hand, are left on their own to figure out who may be attracted to them by simply getting rejected.

 

The truth is that in this day and age or multi-dating, the internet and increased connectivitiy, everyone is racing to the top and many are falling face first. Those that are rich, charming, attractive, etc have their pick of people and the rest are selecting among the leftovers. The difference is that women, being the ones approached, know how many possible suitors they have. Men may have no clue how many women are interested in them.

Edited August 18, 2010 by Sanman

[carhill]

Men may have no clue how many women are interested in them.

 

Interesting offering and I can say clearly that I do have 'no clue' about that. Even the married women who've 'come on' to me were women I had friendly, completely platonic relations with for years. No clue. This causes me to believe they were making it all up or testing me, but the ramifications of that belief are somewhat upsetting, so I will continue to choose to live in peaceful, ignorant, bitter-free bliss.

[mr.dream merchant]

Cause some women do dumb sh*t like nag their boyfriend, give their number out but never reply, have a boyfriend but frequents some guy who's crushing on her's house, go to the gym with her ass hanging out for attention (see my thread)..so guys come here and talk about it. Bitter? That's a bit of a stretch. I'm not bitter against women, I just think they fail at being logical, and sometimes, considerate and appreciative of a guy who actually gives a damn to care for, and give their affection to said woman. Bitter? Nahh, more like calling it like I see it.

[skydiveaddict]

I just hate rejection, I suppose that's the reason, plus I really really love her. But I came back from a 10 month deployment and she wouldn't even speak to me. I dont think thats cool

[dispatch3d]

tbh I usually don't read your threads. Like this thread is obviously going to involve a train wreck of bitter guys that I'd prefer to avoid.

 

The girls are playing the game on easy mode is hilarious and true. If you are a seven you will get hit on regularly, and have options. There is no equivalent for guys. There's no minimum. Guys can't be insecure, shy, etc. Waywayway less room for messing up. I wouldn't say its looks either. I'd say it's an overall personality thing.

 

Being mad, I don't know. I would call it being frustrated. Not that I feel I am one of these types. There's a reason the pickup world calls non-pickup people "AFC's" - average frustrated chump. Fact is, most guys are chumps. They have no power in relationships, get whatever happens to fall on their lap, and would LOVE to actually screen girls but they have no options to begin with.... how do you screen then?

 

Anyhow, it's the way the world works. No need to be mad about it. Just learn how to get the woman.

 

I will not be responding or reading this thread farther. If you want to comment feel free but I won't be giving any replies...

[dispatch3d]

I just hate rejection, I suppose that's the reason, plus I really really love her. But I came back from a 10 month deployment and she wouldn't even speak to me. I dont think thats cool

 

man girls have army guys pegged so hard its almost funny.

 

They fit generally into two groups, really good with woman or really bad. There isn't much of an inbetween. My god the really bad are not so great. It CAN just be obvious that they don't spend that much time around woman at all. I've been chatting up woman and had them blow my vibe with one comment. I mean it's my fault for not picking up the pieces, but still. I've also thought they were being so rude in front of a girl it must have been on purpose - but no they really were just that unaware.

 

However, the guys who are really good are actually veryveryvery good. Probably the best guys I've seen have been army guys. It's likely because you have no choice but to try to pickup your one free day that week, or two free days that month, whatever. It definitely creates an environment and I feel like I could pick out an army guy fast.

 

Also they start a ****ton of fights and cause a lot of ****.

 

This is referencing canadian army guys though.

[mr.dream merchant]

one way to increase your options is to get out, get in shape, and gain assets. then women will be kissing your feet. some will still try to run game on you but, lol, come onnnnnn....men ****ing invented game. get the **** outta here you silly hoe!

[dispatch3d]

Oh I just thought of this, and food for thought for all you bitter guys.

 

Girls definitely do play the game on easy mode. Some are FOR SURE playing for free and get their kicks only out of going for guys that are literally impossible. Like trying to breakup a marriage just to see if it's possible. (REAL LIFE EXAMPLE JUST THERE)

 

Ever play a game on easy mode? Is there any motivation to get better at it? Not really, you kind of just do whatever entertains you. Use street fighter 4 for example. You may try beating the other guy with just normals. Or prehaps just walk up to him and throw him a bunch. Or maybe you can just light kick him to death. The only way to get good really is to play against other good people. Even playing street fighter 4 on hard mode isn't enough. It really is just too easy. You can lariet with zangief and beat all of the characters on any mode. I mean it's MORE challenging, but you won't be nearly as good as someone who plays against actual good people.

 

What if you're entire life you played the game on easy mode. Well **** you'd get pretty bored. But then all the sudden you meet a pro player. You're probably going to get completely ruined. Like you won't even get to hit him once.

 

Uh oh....what's that, an analogy. What does this mean? Well if all girls are playing the game on easy mode, then how the **** do they become better partners? Where's the incentive for them to become better at relationships? What if they are so hot it doesn't even ****ing matter. They can be rude, tell people off, hate on other girls, break up other couples, and STILL get ALMOST whoever they want. (enter the bitchy girl, who I know lots of guys are interested in. I honestly would not give one the time of day.)

 

At any rate, all the sudden they meet the perfect guy. What the **** do they have to offer him that's any different than the next bitch? These women aren't guys afterall. It's not like they actually have to be good at anything in particular in a relationship. They just ****ing showup and do their makeup. What the hell's going to keep him there? And if he's SO GOOD WITH WOMEN he's going to have another one! He may even have several backup women lined up just in case. Then this girl whose gotten away with murder as far as relationships go tries to pick him up.

 

Take the guys who are really good. They are playing the game on hard mode already. They are getting better. You CAN"T get better at street fighter 4 without playing the game on hard mode. ITS IMPOSSIBLE. You will cap out super early (oh man pun!) if you don't have the internet and play people online! Well these guys - who are really good - all the sudden can chose whoever the **** they want. They already know they offer way more to ANY girl than ANY other guy can give them. They played the game on hard mode, the chick can't even hit the guy back. He offers way more than her. In other words, the really good guys can easily be out of 90% of girls leagues.

 

I mean, haven't you ever just sat down with a new game and instead of doing it on medium, or easy, you just pick the maximum ****ing hard setting you can. We'll call it max the **** out hard mode. It doesn't matter, you usually get unlimited continues anyways. All that really happens is it takes longer to finish the game anyways. And there's a lot more enjoyment out of beating it. You didn't just light kick the guy to death, you learned every combo in the game, learned the matchups, studied the game theory, practiced until you were good, and all the sudden you could beat a lot of really tough opponents.

 

Personally, I like ****ing hard mode. I always took the hardest courses in school CAUSE THEY SOUNDED HARD. Lol **** what a way to chose courses. Fun way to live life. I suggest you try it.

[Engadget]

Is this thread title a joke? Do you know how many women I hear in real life bitch about men? Come on.

 

Maybe men here are more well represented because the internet can be a refuge for the lonely and hurt.

 

Otherwise, both sexes bitch just as much. My friends may complain once in a while but usually for good reason, and never in depth crying about this or that.

[elaina]

men tend to be singular-minded, especially when something consumes them. Women also are blessed with the ability to talk the subject to death with close friends and family, and therefore purge those negative feelings more quickly. Just my 2 cents

 

I agree.

 

Lol at the "talk the subject to death with close friends and family" but true, and don't forget the HUGS!!! Many single women can live on hugs (and emotional closeness) from friends and family, whereas I don't think many single men get enough hugs.

[ViciousViolet]

This thread is depressing. I had no idea that, as a female, I was supposed to have an easier time dating. I do not. I get approached, but not by quality guys, and I am not picky. A majority of the guys who approach me are twice my age or are the "thug" types just looking for sex. The type of guys I like (nerdy and intellectual) are never interested in me. It could be a regional thing, women outnumber men big time here, so if you aren't above average, you're SOL here. Smart/nerdy girls get NO love.

[skydiveaddict]

man girls have army guys pegged so hard its almost funny.

 

They fit generally into two groups, really good with woman or really bad. There isn't much of an inbetween. My god the really bad are not so great. It CAN just be obvious that they don't spend that much time around woman at all. I've been chatting up woman and had them blow my vibe with one comment. I mean it's my fault for not picking up the pieces, but still. I've also thought they were being so rude in front of a girl it must have been on purpose - but no they really were just that unaware.

 

However, the guys who are really good are actually veryveryvery good. Probably the best guys I've seen have been army guys. It's likely because you have no choice but to try to pickup your one free day that week, or two free days that month, whatever. It definitely creates an environment and I feel like I could pick out an army guy fast.

 

Also they start a ****ton of fights and cause a lot of ****.

 

This is referencing canadian army guys though.

 

 

I know what you're saying, but when you're deployed it's hard to know what's going on, you're far away w/ limited contact. When you go on mission you might be out of contact for weeks. It can place a strain on any relationship. I think the strain of that can cause problems.

[Woggle]

Is this thread title a joke? Do you know how many women I hear in real life bitch about men? Come on.

 

Maybe men here are more well represented because the internet can be a refuge for the lonely and hurt.

 

Otherwise, both sexes bitch just as much. My friends may complain once in a while but usually for good reason, and never in depth crying about this or that.

 

This is true. Women have their friends and Oprah and men have the internet. Women also tend to more passive agressive with their gender while just come right and say it.

[ViciousViolet]

Is this thread title a joke? Do you know how many women I hear in real life bitch about men? Come on.

 

Maybe men here are more well represented because the internet can be a refuge for the lonely and hurt.

 

Otherwise, both sexes bitch just as much. My friends may complain once in a while but usually for good reason, and never in depth crying about this or that.

 

You're right. I had no idea that men felt this way:(. The bitterness is a turn-off but I'm always interested in hearing both sides of the story.

[Engadget]

You're right. I had no idea that men felt this way:(. The bitterness is a turn-off but I'm always interested in hearing both sides of the story.

 

We have feelings too, and men get hurt just the same as women. A lot of people are jaded because they expect one thing and get something different. Emotional pain is worse than physical pain for some, the hurt can last decades not like a broken bone, although there's chronic pain.

 

The internet allows the otherwise introverted, sad person to type out their feelings. I've been a part of many groups and boards over the years, you see it all. I was a shy, nerdy kid once. Now? Not so much.

[Woggle]

You're right. I had no idea that men felt this way:(. The bitterness is a turn-off but I'm always interested in hearing both sides of the story.

 

I know it is a turn off but at least try to understand where it comes from.

[skydiveaddict]

tbh I usually don't read your threads. ..

 

 

That's ok w/me. You have good reasons not to . But I honestly was not trying to pick a fight