alex1960 Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 My wife finally explained her company won't expense $300 bills unless she can proove the business value of the meal and apparently she can't. She also admitted having scheduled her trip around the restaurant opening date and that she was looking forward to catching up with a colleague. I could understand how people would make an effort to meet up with old friends they haven't seen in ages or with close family members. But in this case, we're talking about some coworker, not even a close friend. Plus I think it's the same guy she had dinner with a few weeks before so it's not like they had a huge deal to catch up. Meanwhile, my wife thinks what she did was totally reasonable. The guy is a good friend of hers and that restaurant was only ever going to open once. Last I checked, we have plenty of fine restaurants in town. In any case, she wasn't overly defensive. She seemed to think everything was ok.
Distant78 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 My wife finally explained her company won't expense $300 bills unless she can proove the business value of the meal and apparently she can't. She also admitted having scheduled her trip around the restaurant opening date and that she was looking forward to catching up with a colleague. I could understand how people would make an effort to meet up with old friends they haven't seen in ages or with close family members. But in this case, we're talking about some coworker, not even a close friend. Plus I think it's the same guy she had dinner with a few weeks before so it's not like they had a huge deal to catch up. Meanwhile, my wife thinks what she did was totally reasonable. The guy is a good friend of hers and that restaurant was only ever going to open once. Last I checked, we have plenty of fine restaurants in town. In any case, she wasn't overly defensive. She seemed to think everything was ok. I think your wife is having an affair with this guy. Some cheaters when interrogated give calm responses, while others, overreact. This may be the case involving your situation. There are other signs that I don't see right, but I will elaborate later. Just make sure you keep your eyes open.
alexlakeman Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Easier said than done if you don't have the money, but hire a private investigator on her next few trips, install keylogger on her laptop, get into her cell phone pics, texts, etc... look at the phone bill, who is she calling at odd hours... So easily solved, stop beating around the bush.. unless you like thinking somone was down on her next time you go down on her... ugghh, bad taste
meerkat stew Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 This new info is bad. Restaurant opening? Restaurant only ever going to open once? Sounds like a business model I'd buy into, bet the investors are thrilled, "see we are just going to open the restaurant for -one- night, and then it will never be open again, average per table revenue will be $300 on that very special night! write me a check for 200k and you can get in on the ground floor!" C'mon.
Distant78 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 This new info is bad. Restaurant opening? Restaurant only ever going to open once? Sounds like a business model I'd buy into, bet the investors are thrilled, "see we are just going to open the restaurant for -one- night, and then it will never be open again, average per table revenue will be $300 on that very special night! write me a check for 200k and you can get in on the ground floor!" C'mon. Thats what I was thinking. I read this guy's previous threads and there was a whole lot of other things that stood out of the ordinary. She's lying to him thats for sure. He needs to keep investigating.
zengirl Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 My wife finally explained her company won't expense $300 bills unless she can proove the business value of the meal and apparently she can't. She also admitted having scheduled her trip around the restaurant opening date and that she was looking forward to catching up with a colleague. I could understand how people would make an effort to meet up with old friends they haven't seen in ages or with close family members. But in this case, we're talking about some coworker, not even a close friend. Plus I think it's the same guy she had dinner with a few weeks before so it's not like they had a huge deal to catch up. Meanwhile, my wife thinks what she did was totally reasonable. The guy is a good friend of hers and that restaurant was only ever going to open once. Last I checked, we have plenty of fine restaurants in town. In any case, she wasn't overly defensive. She seemed to think everything was ok. How did you approach her? Does she think it's fine even though it obviously bothered you? I think your situation was a little out of the ordinary, but the biggest red flag for me would be if I approached my partner in a non-confrontational manner ("I" statements, no blaming, no ultimatums, no threats, no giant speculation) and then they blew me off. From what I've found, every time I've approached a partner with a concern, he's genuinely cared about my feelings even if I was off or worrying about something that wasn't the whole story at all. I think I've always shown the same caring. It's not about whether I did anything "wrong" so much as. . . well, if it bothered someone, it's something that needs sussing out and discussion and examination, regardless of how innocent and oblivious my intentions were.
seibert253 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Resturant opening, once in a lifetime event. Only happens once. Let me ask you this, why did she go with this other dude and not you? Your her H, shouldn't you be reserved for these special events? You need to investigate further. Something is amiss and most of already know what it is. Take off the blinders and see what's really going on.
Sabali Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 In any case, she wasn't overly defensive. She seemed to think everything was ok. Overly defensive is what men become when we are busted. Most women, on the other hand, are calm, cool and collective. In other words, you can't use this against her or in her defense.
InceptorsRule Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 $300.00? Wow, that restaurant must have great service. I think you need to "serve" her with divorce papers though.
Sphere Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I'd be straight on the phone to my solictor to get him/her to draw up your divorce papers. I'd then wait until it's her birthday, your wedding anniversary or Christmas and I'd put them in an envolpe with a card and watch her as she opens it.
jamesum Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Overly defensive is what men become when we are busted. Most women, on the other hand, are calm, cool and collective. In other words, you can't use this against her or in her defense. No woman is a bad liar.
FL Lady Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Overly defensive is what men become when we are busted. Most women, on the other hand, are calm, cool and collective. In other words, you can't use this against her or in her defense. Agree 100%. I always acted like nothing was out of ordinary. I could always justify my business travel and nights away without any question. Business travelers can be easily deceptive. My ex never questioned anything.
FL Lady Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I'm not one of the folks jumping on the divorce bandwagon. Especially since you have a daughter. It is somewhat normal for people to be casually flirty with colleagues. We spend more time at work than with our own families. Your friend who observed them said that basically, from all observations, she was on a date with this guy. (touching, drinking, etc). She'll be more sneaky, if there is a next time, than this trip. (having to use a credit card). If she is smart she'll passcode her iPhone. If she hasn't yet, check it out. fair game since you both pay the bill. My ex never knew my pass codes -ever. My iPhone and prior smart phones were off limits.
FL Lady Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 If you listen to the advice from a cheap hooker like the poster above then you sir are an idiot. It's high time you divorced this woman. A woman gets three strikes with me, but cheaters get none, I chuck them to the gutter, like they deserve. Sphere, Come on. Give me a break. I'm giving him advice and cheap shots like you took are not necessary.
Author alex1960 Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 While some people won't like to hear this, my business reality closely resembles what FL Lady describes, and I've been around the block quite a bit. It's not pretty out there. I am fully aware that my wife has business dinners with men and I am also fully aware how business dinners go. Conversations become personal during the meal and there is alcohol involved. While this kind of setting would be unacceptable to many, that's the business reality of an executive. The situation I'm dealing with is slightly different though (at least in my opinion).
Distant78 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 If you listen to the advice from a cheap hooker like the poster above then you sir are an idiot. It's high time you divorced this woman. A woman gets three strikes with me, but cheaters get none, I chuck them to the gutter, like they deserve. :lmao::lmao:LOL!!! Wow. Funny!!!!
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