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Why do I still want her?

Confused100

By Confused100
in Coping

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Confused100 Established Member

Confused100

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I don't get it. Sure we were never in a relationship, but we used to always talk and hang out. So, it felt like I got to know her really well. I recently went three weeks without contacting her, and then said screw it, I'll see if I can win her over one last time (dumb, I know).

 

One minute she seems enthusiastic. The next moment she doesn't seem to give a rat's ass. She flakes on previous commitments. She ignores me. What's the point of her stringing me along if she has no intention of following through? :mad:

 

I've wasted a lot of time and energy and she doesn't appear to respect me. So, why am I still crazy about her? Why do I still want her despite all this crap? I don't get it.

 

I just sent a text confronting her about why she bailed on me yesterday. No response yet. Don't really expect a response. [[ She just updated her Facebook status with "___‎'s phone is no longer working, that's why I'm not responding". No I feel like sending her a message or something on Facebook and asking what happened... ]] So I guess I pretty much know it's time to cut her out of my life and move on. I already threw out the little things she gave me in the past. At the same time, I don't want to delete her number or delete her off of Facebook. Should I do either? It's like I still have a false sense of hope somewhere.

Edited by Confused100
bunnixkisses Member

bunnixkisses

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Posted

I have ran this scenario through my head time and time again. Psychologically, I believe that human's crave attention, love, respect, appreciation..THAT significant other. However, when they don't get it, they become desperate. (I use that word lightly, because I am not calling YOU desperate) If you think about it, put a human in a room with no food. The longer they go without it, the more desperate they get to get food. I think that you want this girl, but she is playing "hard to get." Most men can take the hint if a girl just blows them off, or never talks to them..because men think less with their emotions. However, she's giving you that little smidgen of hope...just to keep you guessing. You, however, don't get the "attention" that you want (or deserve from a girl)..so your emotions start to control you and cloud your judgement. Depending on her actions and how strong you are, you will either eventually scoot her out of your life and move on, continue to become more and more desperate to be with her which will turn into more of an obsession, OR she'll come around and stop playing games.

 

Now, based on the fact that you can REALIZE that this isn't cool, and you are already about to forget about..you seem like a pretty smart guy. IDK if she likes you but is playing games, or if there is something underlying..but either way you don't deserve it. I would wait for an explanation, if there isn't one..blow her off. You don't need to delete her number and off facebook..just quit trying. You never know, she may realize she cant play her games with you, and contact you and turn over a new leaf between you guys.

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Confused100 Established Member

Confused100

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Hey, thanks a lot for taking the time to respond.

 

I have ran this scenario through my head time and time again. Psychologically, I believe that human's crave attention, love, respect, appreciation..THAT significant other. However, when they don't get it, they become desperate. (I use that word lightly, because I am not calling YOU desperate) If you think about it, put a human in a room with no food. The longer they go without it, the more desperate they get to get food. I think that you want this girl, but she is playing "hard to get." Most men can take the hint if a girl just blows them off, or never talks to them..because men think less with their emotions. However, she's giving you that little smidgen of hope...just to keep you guessing. You, however, don't get the "attention" that you want (or deserve from a girl)..so your emotions start to control you and cloud your judgement. Depending on her actions and how strong you are, you will either eventually scoot her out of your life and move on, continue to become more and more desperate to be with her which will turn into more of an obsession, OR she'll come around and stop playing games.

 

I think you're right. It's just so frustrating. I know it's still going to take a while for me to get over her despite my feelings of being betrayed. Everything just has me confused. I don't know why anyone would, as you said, give 'little smidgen of hope'. It seems like if you're interested, you show that. If you're not interested, likewise. Don't play with the other person's emotions. Ugh!

 

I would wait for an explanation, if there isn't one..blow her off. You don't need to delete her number and off facebook..just quit trying. You never know, she may realize she cant play her games with you, and contact you and turn over a new leaf between you guys.

 

Alright. This makes sense. I guess I can hide her stuff from showing up in the news feed. That way I won't have a constant reminder of what she's up to.

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