BiAxident Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Infatuation, intense love, a "spark", whatever you may call it, it is one component of many to a successful relationship. But how important is it really? A "spark" will never last forever in any relationship. Is having a lot of things in common, having good "chemistry" enough to sustain a LTR, or does there have to be some sort of Hollywood inspired "magic"?
a_woman Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 are you just going to keep posting the same thing over and over again? you want to hang onto your relationship because you don't want to take the jump to look for a new girlfriend. but yes initial spark and chemistry are very important. they are not enough to sustain an LTR but they go a long way when it comes to building love
harmfulsweetz Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 If it isn't there initially, then a relationship, however compatible the two of you on paper are, it will never last. A spark may fade a little, but I think it just changes. In the initial period of dating, there's the whole 'in lust love' type thing going on, you can't keep your hands off each other, and are smitten. As time progresses, you become settled with that person, but you can be entirely settled, and still spark with them. Still have that infatuation, even though it's not new, it's not fresh, it's old and comfortable, but it's still there. Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I like to think that if people spark that intensely and fall in love with one another, and are compatible, then hopefully, years down the line they'll still feel that, even if they notice it less, it's still present. People so often say that the spark is bogus, it doesn't exist, and us women make it up as an excuse as to why he is not the elusive 'one', but for an LTR to work, it's necessary to have that kind of chemistry which makes you look forward to seeing them, that gives you butterflies when you're around them, and think of them. That bonds you to them. Of course, it's no good having a spark if you're totally incompatible, although some would say then the spark would be greater? Opposites attracting and all that
You Go Girl Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 That's why an intellectual compatibility is the most important aspect of all. Finding someone physically attractive is only going to carry the relationship so far, and then it will fizzle if the intellect isn't well matched. Find some you absolutely LOVE talking to. The rest will work itself out.
meerkat stew Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Google "limerence wiki" will clear lots up for you.
harmfulsweetz Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 That's why an intellectual compatibility is the most important aspect of all. Finding someone physically attractive is only going to carry the relationship so far, and then it will fizzle if the intellect isn't well matched. Find some you absolutely LOVE talking to. The rest will work itself out. I agree on the most part. However, I do think people underestimate the actual power and effect that being physically attracted to someone has. Many relationships fail because it isn't there, or maybe it wasn't entirely there from the start. My last LTR failed on this very reason. Sure, we lasted 3 years, but for the majority of the time, I never fully admitted to myself that I wasn't 'hot' on him. We were compatible in every other way you could say. We had a laugh, it was fun, but there was always something missing. I think people do overlook the physical aspects in the light of 'it will fade naturally over time.' His attraction to me physically NEVER faded. I won't say it didn't dwindle a little, maybe it did, but it never showed. I think we all con ourselves into believing that we can make something work if there is a lack of physical chemistry, because there are so many other more important aspects to a relationship. Yet, having that chemistry is vital. I think it's key to a successful relationship.
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