Raderick Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Tonight, another date, another crazy. I have no freaking idea what I'm doing to attract these people, but this gal, calling her C#2 (read my other thread as to why) wants me to be her girlfriend, and said this through instant messaging after the date. So yeah, a little help please?
cantthinkofanameehhh Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 What i would do is let her down gentle but get the point across, then i would try and find what all these "crazy girls" have in common and try and stay away from that.. Or try going out with the opposite typ of girl you normally do and see if that helps:( best advice i could come up with hope it helps
Author Raderick Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 She found me on Facebook (I friended her not realizing it was her, I usually friend anyone not a spam bot) and already asked to set my status as "In a relationship with XYZ". I wanna crawl in my blankets and never get out :/
cantthinkofanameehhh Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I would be straight up call her up or reply to her asking that with "hell no i wont im not in a relationship with you" <-- only do that if she has no girlfriends that u wld ever be intrested in .. of she does simply say we have to hang more but im really busy so i will call you when im free .... stop talking to her and if she talks to u respond just not in any way that will provoke convosation ..
cantthinkofanameehhh Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 also go under privacy and set everything to private for her under custom if you dont want her knowing your buisness
Author Raderick Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 I would be straight up call her up or reply to her asking that with "hell no i wont im not in a relationship with you" <-- only do that if she has no girlfriends that u wld ever be intrested in .. of she does simply say we have to hang more but im really busy so i will call you when im free .... stop talking to her and if she talks to u respond just not in any way that will provoke convosation .. I already stopped talking to her, I told her I went to bed without saying a word about being a boyfriend or even responding to the relationship status request.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Tonight, another date, another crazy. I have no freaking idea what I'm doing to attract these people, but this gal, calling her C#2 (read my other thread as to why) wants me to be her girlfriend, and said this through instant messaging after the date. So yeah, a little help please? Was this the one who went away but wanted to see you when she got back? I thought you were a guy for some reason? sorry if im wrong.. Do you mean she wants to be your gf?
Author Raderick Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 Was this the one who went away but wanted to see you when she got back? I thought you were a guy for some reason? sorry if im wrong.. Do you mean she wants to be your gf? Yeah, sorry, my mind is falling asleep on me. She wants to be my girlfriend/me be her boyfriend. And no, this is a totally different person, someone I met through a friend of a friend of a friend.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Yeah, sorry, my mind is falling asleep on me. She wants me to be her girlfriend/me be her boyfriend. And no, this is a totally different person, someone I met through a friend of a friend of a friend. Oic no worries um she sounds flaky you been on one date and she said that? RUN.. next thing she will show up on the second date with new underwear for ya..
cantthinkofanameehhh Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 what ever you do dont hold hands, hug her , kiss her , etc .. and in the morning just call her and be straight up and say u had fun but its just not going to work your looking for different things
Author Raderick Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 what ever you do dont hold hands, hug her , kiss her , etc .. and in the morning just call her and be straight up and say u had fun but its just not going to work your looking for different things You see, I'm one that doesn't like to go NC all of a sudden with no warning, I at least want to tell her/anyone else I'm not interested, say why, and wish the best.
cantthinkofanameehhh Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 but she is a "crazy" and thats the loopwhole for not careing lol u dont want a stalker
zengirl Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 (edited) Just be direct with her. You've gotta be cruel to be kind sometimes. Don't get mean unless you have to---but be direct. And say no. I think this is the wrong way to look at it. A lot of women want to know how not to attract creeps/crazies too, and I always say, There's no real way NOT to attract those people (get them to stay away from you of their own accord) without keeping plenty of sane people away; perhaps everything you can do to keep crazies away actually turns of sane, healthy, good people more. What you need to be able to do is (a) Spot the crazies and (b) Have no attraction to them at all----meaning you filter them out. I think one does this the same way they filter for most problems: Being self-reflective, knowing yourself, understanding other people, and being emotionally healthy. There are specific fixes for different kinds of crazy, but that's always the gist. In your case, it sounds like you get the needy WAY too-much-too-soon girls. I suppose if you want specific techniques for filtering them, it would include things like seeing how they deal with less frequent (not sporadic/wishy washy---still always do what you say you will) contact or watching out for people who get too personal too fast, particularly in unloading specific fears/feelings/personal experiences or being too affectionate. The thing is, if you do this too much, especially if you do it without a core of emotional health, I think you scare away perfectly good people. Which is worse than a few dates with some crazies in my book, assuming none of them start boiling pet rabbits. That said, is it really so bad to go on a first date with them? Sounds like you're filtering them out pretty well naturally. I think more what you want to know is, "How to attract somebody else" if it's becoming a pattern. But 2 dates is not a pattern yet. Edited August 13, 2010 by zengirl
Gallaxia Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Just be direct with her. You've gotta be cruel to be kind sometimes. Don't get mean unless you have to---but be direct. And say no. I think this is the wrong way to look at it. A lot of women want to know how not to attract creeps/crazies too, and I always say, There's no real way NOT to attract those people (get them to stay away from you of their own accord) without keeping plenty of sane people away; perhaps everything you can do to keep crazies away actually turns of sane, healthy, good people more. What you need to be able to do is (a) Spot the crazies and (b) Have no attraction to them at all----meaning you filter them out. I think one does this the same way they filter for most problems: Being self-reflective, knowing yourself, understanding other people, and being emotionally healthy. There are specific fixes for different kinds of crazy, but that's always the gist. In your case, it sounds like you get the needy WAY too-much-too-soon girls. I agree with this. Maybe women as time passes. People tend to show signs when they're falling hard for someone long before they even say something. Maybe look out for that and pullback to have a convo or to proceed with a r'ship. That way it doesn't seem like it's just coming from left field (for her). And we don't want that if she really is "crazy". Do you think maybe she thinks you guys are "guaranteed" just because you guys are connected to the same circle of friends? Like some fantasy in her head...? Whatever the case, that's rough...Hang in there!
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