Sphere Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I found if you really want a girl then you need to deliver the biggest strawberry cheesecake she has ever seen. Though I've not tried it yet. Eyeore79 lives in the UK, maybe I can test it out on her on a Tuesday afternoon, hey Tim? You bloody SoSuave trollie? Do you remember when you said you banged your wife's sister? You sick douchebag.
skydiveaddict Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 and being a complete ******* is more likely to work than being a huge nice guy. That's only because being a huge nice guy has basically a 0% chance of working. Very sad but true
Woggle Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 This is true for many women but it's better to be yourself and just stay single until you meet one of the exceptions. Yeah some women seem to enjoy being treate like crap but why would a man want one of them anyway? Why is having a drama addict in your life better than just living it up until you find the right one? These are the same women who will hate men and become misandrists down the road because they refuse to take responsibility for their bad choices.
temporaryvisa Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I am actually SO attracted to nice guys, it's not even funny. NICE DOESN'T MEAN BORING, HELLOOOOOO!
Lorelai Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I'll disagree with this please. If obese women are deserving of the full measure of love and respect from men, why aren't psycho girls also deserving of it? Psycho girls are people too. Hey, the worst a fat non-psycho girl like me can do is sit on you. Psychos, on the other hand... just Google "psycho ex-girlfriend" and you'll find plenty of reasons that psycho is much worse, if you don't have any personal experience with them.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Ahhhhh. It's not that you are nice (at all), it's that the girl wasn't attracted to you in the first place. And "nice" or not has nothing to do with chemistry; it's either there or it's not. Girls want nothing more than for guy they are attracted to to treat them nicely. I wrote about a guy here with whom I had great chemistry from the start. I was very excited about him. But week after week, he was proving to be more and more of a jerk. It killed all my attraction to the point that when he touched me; I felt nothing. Now if he has been nice and kind to me; I would be on my way to being in love with him by now. The way I see it; say you start liking girl A. She is hot and smart. You are very attracted. You start pursuing her. She gives you wishy/washy answers, sometimes flakes, sometimes not. You hang in there and keep trying. You ignore the fact that she sometimes doesn't reply to your texts or your calls. You tell yourself "I knew it, I am too nice to her". Actually what happened here is that the girl was never attracted to you. She had a problem with directly rejecting you and tried to avoid you hoping you would get the hint. You however, didn't. It has nothing to do with the girl. You are making yourself a doormat. What you should have done is, after a couple of time where she clearly disrespected you say to yourself "no more" and stop pursuing her in any way. And no, this won't make her run after you, but will help you keep your confidence and self respect. The problem is not that your niceness is a turn off, the problem is you picked a girl that isn't attracted to you and didn't know when to cut your losses.
Thierro Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 and being a complete ******* is more likely to work than being a huge nice guy. That's only because being a huge nice guy has basically a 0% chance of working. One of the reasons why nice guys finish last is that they have certain trades about them that show low value; this kills attraction. Those trades I am talking about is fear of rejection, they care what the other person think of them, they don’t believe in themselves and excuse themselves for this, they put her on a pedestal. It's not about being a nice guy or a jerk. It's about you not needing validation and truly love yourself.
dispatch3d Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Ahhhhh. It's not that you are nice (at all), it's that the girl wasn't attracted to you in the first place. And "nice" or not has nothing to do with chemistry; it's either there or it's not. Girls want nothing more than for guy they are attracted to to treat them nicely. I wrote about a guy here with whom I had great chemistry from the start. I was very excited about him. But week after week, he was proving to be more and more of a jerk. It killed all my attraction to the point that when he touched me; I felt nothing. Now if he has been nice and kind to me; I would be on my way to being in love with him by now. The way I see it; say you start liking girl A. She is hot and smart. You are very attracted. You start pursuing her. She gives you wishy/washy answers, sometimes flakes, sometimes not. You hang in there and keep trying. You ignore the fact that she sometimes doesn't reply to your texts or your calls. You tell yourself "I knew it, I am too nice to her". Actually what happened here is that the girl was never attracted to you. She had a problem with directly rejecting you and tried to avoid you hoping you would get the hint. You however, didn't. It has nothing to do with the girl. You are making yourself a doormat. What you should have done is, after a couple of time where she clearly disrespected you say to yourself "no more" and stop pursuing her in any way. And no, this won't make her run after you, but will help you keep your confidence and self respect. The problem is not that your niceness is a turn off, the problem is you picked a girl that isn't attracted to you and didn't know when to cut your losses. ahhh no I have to disagree. Girls only think they want to bang nice guys. In reality the dickheads of the world get 4-5x more action than the average nice guy (who gets none). The problem isn't they aren't attracted to you so being nice doesn't work. It's being nice doesn't work so they won't be attracted anyways. I can think of more douchebags who get constantly laid than nice guys nooooo problem.
dispatch3d Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 not to say I believe in being a total ******* to get a girl. I don't want that kind of relationship either. I just know better than to always be nice, polite, respectful, etc.
Green Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I am actually SO attracted to nice guys, it's not even funny. NICE DOESN'T MEAN BORING, HELLOOOOOO! I think people who call themselves nice really mean they are boring. They just don't want to complain about being boring. Also some women still use the cliche (ur a nice guy) when they turn a guy down for a date or dump him. Guys tend to get fixated on that word "nice."
meerkat stew Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 No offense to anyone but isn't it ironic that the OP and those individuals here telling him to treat women like dirt are all single? In what alternate universe does being successful with women have anything at all to do with whether you choose to marry or become exclusive with one?
meerkat stew Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 And "nice" or not has nothing to do with chemistry; it's either there or it's not. Half right. Having the right attitude won't build attraction if a seed is already there, but undue supplication and kissing up will kill budding attraction dead in many cases.
Author Tim7332 Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 Ahhhhh. It's not that you are nice (at all), it's that the girl wasn't attracted to you in the first place. And "nice" or not has nothing to do with chemistry; it's either there or it's not. Girls want nothing more than for guy they are attracted to to treat them nicely. I wrote about a guy here with whom I had great chemistry from the start. I was very excited about him. But week after week, he was proving to be more and more of a jerk. It killed all my attraction to the point that when he touched me; I felt nothing. Now if he has been nice and kind to me; I would be on my way to being in love with him by now. The way I see it; say you start liking girl A. She is hot and smart. You are very attracted. You start pursuing her. She gives you wishy/washy answers, sometimes flakes, sometimes not. You hang in there and keep trying. You ignore the fact that she sometimes doesn't reply to your texts or your calls. You tell yourself "I knew it, I am too nice to her". Actually what happened here is that the girl was never attracted to you. She had a problem with directly rejecting you and tried to avoid you hoping you would get the hint. You however, didn't. It has nothing to do with the girl. You are making yourself a doormat. What you should have done is, after a couple of time where she clearly disrespected you say to yourself "no more" and stop pursuing her in any way. And no, this won't make her run after you, but will help you keep your confidence and self respect. The problem is not that your niceness is a turn off, the problem is you picked a girl that isn't attracted to you and didn't know when to cut your losses. The thing is though, at first she was attracted me. She even came to my house once when I asked her too. I asked her straight up if she was and she said "I feel there's something there but I'm not sure yet if it's friends or something more. Let's just keep hanging out and see how it goes". I honestly felt as though she was just trying to be hard to get. One other thing she said though that stuck out at me was "You're exactly the type of guy I should be dating but I go for bad boys"
Author Tim7332 Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 One of the reasons why nice guys finish last is that they have certain trades about them that show low value; this kills attraction. Those trades I am talking about is fear of rejection, they care what the other person think of them, they don’t believe in themselves and excuse themselves for this, they put her on a pedestal. It's not about being a nice guy or a jerk. It's about you not needing validation and truly love yourself. I think you're absolutely right. If I'm being honest with myself, I think the biggest reason she lost interest was I was seeking her approval and validation during our interactions. I spent more effort studying her reactions to things for signs she liked me than just being myself and communicating "value" as you call it. How hard is it to develop these qualities? I know I have physical attraction but I need to be confident and communicate strength and desirability through my body language and emotions.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 The thing is though, at first she was attracted me. She even came to my house once when I asked her too. I asked her straight up if she was and she said "I feel there's something there but I'm not sure yet if it's friends or something more. Let's just keep hanging out and see how it goes". I honestly felt as though she was just trying to be hard to get. One other thing she said though that stuck out at me was "You're exactly the type of guy I should be dating but I go for bad boys" This is exactly what I say to guys I AM NOT attracted to but beleive they are nice enough people so I am hoping that the spark will happen later if I keep hanging out with them. It never does.
Author Tim7332 Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 This is exactly what I say to guys I AM NOT attracted to but beleive they are nice enough people so I am hoping that the spark will happen later if I keep hanging out with them. It never does. That's really disheartening, I was hoping she was attracted but just didn't want to be easy. So should I just ignore her then?
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I am not sure how old you all are (I am 31) and when I talk to the girls at work they always talk about nice things their BFs did for them. Tim took my dog to the vet, Jim made me soup when I was sick etc etc. And all girls go awwwww Maybe bad boys are simply better looking and/or super confident. Girls will bang great looking confident guys, regardless of niceness. They won't stay for long though if they are treated like c%%p. Maybe if they are 18 or have serious issues.
PJKino Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 ahhh no I have to disagree. Girls only think they want to bang nice guys. In reality the dickheads of the world get 4-5x more action than the average nice guy (who gets none). The problem isn't they aren't attracted to you so being nice doesn't work. It's being nice doesn't work so they won't be attracted anyways. I can think of more douchebags who get constantly laid than nice guys nooooo problem. Those dbags are probably good looking guys,women may put up with a jerk theyre physically attracted to for a little while in hopes of changing him but they dont find the jerk part attractive they find the fact that hes really good looking attratcive. Most guys who think theyre too nice probably just arent physically attractive to women.. Being nice alone doesnt make you attractive you need the looks to back it up..
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 That's really disheartening, I was hoping she was attracted but just didn't want to be easy. So should I just ignore her then? Don't get too down. I am not her, so this was my best guess as to what she is feeling. I could be wrong though. Keep hanging out with her but put her on back burner and pursue other girls too.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Those dbags are probably good looking guys,women may put up with a jerk theyre physically attracted to for a little while in hopes of changing him but they dont find the jerk part attractive they find the fact that hes really good looking attratcive. Most guys who think theyre too nice probably just arent physically attractive to women.. Being nice alone doesnt make you attractive you need the looks to back it up.. Exactly!! Well said. Do any of you know very good looking nice guy who deosn't get chicks? I certainly don't.
PJKino Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Exactly!! Well said. Do any of you know very good looking nice guy who deosn't get chicks? I certainly don't. Nope.. I never blamed my lack of women on being too nice..I know im a nice sweet guy but women dont find me physically appealing..Life sucks sometimes but what are you gonna do.. I wouldnt date a girl im not attracted to physically at all i dont care if shes mother teresa..
Author Tim7332 Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 The thing is, I'm 6'5" 230 blond hair blue eyes. I have a good face. I'm very intelligent and educated. There's a lot of physical qualities I have going for me. I think what makes girls turned off is that I have low self esteem and confidence. I communicate low value through my body language and attitude. I just need to figure this out, I'm tired of missing opportunities.
New_Life08 Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Perhaps you're aim is a little off?? I have heard this time and time again from men and women. I think the error lies in the seeker.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 The thing is, I'm 6'5" 230 blond hair blue eyes. I have a good face. I'm very intelligent and educated. There's a lot of physical qualities I have going for me. I think what makes girls turned off is that I have low self esteem and confidence. I communicate low value through my body language and attitude. I just need to figure this out, I'm tired of missing opportunities. Low confidence will definetly knock few points of your attractivness scale. The good news is, it can be worked on And as you get older you will naturally get more confident too.
Author Tim7332 Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 Low confidence will definetly knock few points of your attractivness scale. The good news is, it can be worked on And as you get older you will naturally get more confident too. I'm 30 years old now. I would've thought it would be better at this point.
Recommended Posts