Star Gazer Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Have you ever been in a textship? I was just thinking about this. About 6 years ago, even before texting was WILDLY crazy, I found myself in a textship with a guy (who's now my dear friend). We went out a handful of times, but the majority of our interaction was, as bizarre as it seemed, via text message. I think I wanted to keep him at a distance, so I used texting as my primary method of communication and connection with him. Since then, in other relationships (platonic and romantic), I've relied on texting only for sharing necessary information: "Where are we meeting?" "Running 5 minutes late!" "Can't pick up phone, in meeting. Important?" "Just landed! Call you soon!" And of course the occasional cutesy, "Just thinking of you..." or "G'night." But for the most part, I managed to avoid full on conversations via text, or relying on it as the sole method for keeping in contact with people (friends, boyfriends, etc.). However, I now find myself in a situation (or maybe it's just this "day and age") where EVERYONE relies on texts for EVERY form of communication. Girlfriends, friends, potential dates, etc. As much as it's convenient and prevents me from investing too much too quickly, I'm finding it very annoying. Why? Because they people drop off the planet mid-textversation, leaving you hanging (and me, very frustrated). You're left wondering, "Where did they go? Was it something I said?" and then later (that day or days or weeks later) you get another text from the person acting as though the last text didn't just stop out of nowhere. You'd never do that during a telephone conversation - just stop talking and hang up. So why is it okay when you're clearly in the middle of a back-and-forth text exchange? Can you relate to this? Texting... it's a curse and a sword, I tell you.
Confusedalways Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Um-- YES! So I'm 22 and we're all cell phone obsessed. I'm telling you... it's so bad. I have a friend who is a very, very annoying texter- our convos are like this: Him: Saw Sarah at the store, she is moving to Florida. Me: oh my god, Sarah?! Where in Florida? Him: Miami. Me: why? did she take a job? move because of her boyfriend? and he DOESN'T ANSWER, EVER. Like I get maybe you're driving, or at work and I am not one of those people who is annoyed when people don't answer immediately back. But-- the next time he'll text me is 3 days later and it'll be something else random. On the flip I have male and female friends who assume I'm mad at them because it takes me hours to reply. Um, I'm at work! Chill! I guess long story short, I don't mind the mid drop off but I hate never answering. Plenty more stories where that comes from but I'll spare you
robdrm32 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 (edited) Texting is becoming like instant messaging online for most people. I wont tell a girl to stop texting me but if we are in the early stages i'll make it clear I prefer a phone call. Texting used to make me feel special, but then I realized that alot of people have text convos with multiple people at one time, so it's not that i'm getting any extra attention, i'm more just a part of the pack. So i guess it depends, for people i'm getting to know it puts me off. For people i have solid friendships/family with it doesn't make much of a difference. But in either case I much prefer a phone call. and yes it enormously pisses me off when someone starts a text convo with me, then disappears 5 minutes later, only to resurface hours later. I think people text out of boredom really so when something comes up they drop their phone, only to pick it up again when they are bored. Edited August 11, 2010 by robdrm32
Confusedalways Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Yes-- getting to know you texts are probably bad. I guess I don't really mind it as much as other people do. The only one time I ever tried to online date he gave me his number and requested I call. I literally didn't understand why I wasn't "allowed" to text. After we phone tagged 6 times I finally texted, out of the ridiculousness of the situation.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I don't text. But I really like that phrase "textship". Is it your's? I'd like to use it. Or is it a term floating about? I completely agree that "Texting... it's a curse and a sword,..." It is a phenomenon that is placing a new way to extend dialog sometimes to the very detriment to those that over-use it in the hands of persons with no real undertanding of real life and the acceptances of periods of lonliness. They're mostly young and haven't lived in adult reality long enough to know that real life requires interuption and concentration on other matters--also that romance involves being on the edge an NOT knowing everything that another person thinks or does every moment. Wanting someone is part of the bigger thrill than having them. What insecurities this texting phenomenon is bringing. "Textship" is a pretty cool word to have to define and explore.
Stockalone Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Have you ever been in a textship? No. Since then, in other relationships (platonic and romantic), I've relied on texting only for sharing necessary information: Those kind of short messages are the only thing I (reluctantly) use texting for, too. But for the most part, I managed to avoid full on conversations via text, or relying on it as the sole method for keeping in contact with people (friends, boyfriends, etc.). I use e-mail to keep in touch with people (as a substitute for real letters), and only when I can write them on a computer where it can be done fast. Doing it over the phone is far too annoying and time-consuming. And I have no intention of learning how to type faster on my phone. If it is something urgent, I'd rather call than text, except for the things you mentioned, but even then I prefer to call. However, I now find myself in a situation (or maybe it's just this "day and age") where EVERYONE relies on texts for EVERY form of communication. Girlfriends, friends, potential dates, etc. As much as it's convenient and prevents me from investing too much too quickly, I'm finding it very annoying. Thankfully, my friends are not glued to their phones or addicted to texting. They are nearly as oldfashioned as I am (I don't use instant messaging, I don't use twitter, or those annoying social networking website, etc.). Because they people drop off the planet mid-textversation, leaving you hanging (and me, very frustrated). You're left wondering, "Where did they go? Was it something I said?" and then later (that day or days or weeks later) you get another text from the person acting as though the last text didn't just stop out of nowhere. You'd never do that during a telephone conversation - just stop talking and hang up. So why is it okay when you're clearly in the middle of a back-and-forth text exchange? Can you relate to this? Texting... it's a curse and a sword, I tell you. I already get annoyed when that happens while e-mailing back and forth a couple of times, or when I get more than one or two texts. I think I'd go nuts if that would happen on a regular basis or when it maybe leads to exchanging dozens of texts during a "conversation" via text.
Pyro Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 spot on SG. texting should only be limited to what you named in the OP.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Can you relate to this? Agreed 100%, I usually avoid txt conversations if I can.
make me believe Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I love texting! I'm not glued to my phone and having super long drawn out conversations via text message, but it's great for keeping in contact throughout the day with my BF. We can't really talk on the phone while he's at work, so we text on & off just to check in, share info or news, or tell each other cutesy/lovey things. I do have friends who ONLY text, though, and that can get annoying. Sometimes people send these page-long texts and it's like, if you have so much to say just pick up the phone and call! But in general I'm a fan of the text message.
Bogo123 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Texting is great for playful banter or to keep things going between dates. I used to only text but now its more of a supplement.
sugarmomma Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 If you find it annoying, stop texting and tell people to call you if they have something to say. I think it is a very impersonal, lazy form of communication. I refuse to do it when I am dating someone. I always tell guys that I don't have texting on my phone or I don't like it. Usually they're fine with it.
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