Lost_little_Angel Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I'm 21 and has been with my bf for over a year now. We have a good fun relationship but we've also had our share of ups & downs and I don't know what to think. Okay so here it goes.... Last year about 3 months into our relationship he met someone else. When they initially began speaking he told me that she was just a co worker having a rough time with her family and bf so he was just being friendly but alarms were going off in my head so I kept a close eye on it. She would text him at 8 a.m every morning... Then I started getting emails on facebook from her pretending to be someone else but claiming to be with my bf. After like 2 weeks of messages and phone calls it finally came out that he had hung out with her and lied about it. When confronted he said that they were just friends and he had no idea that she had feeling for him & he had no feeling for her.even .though I knew better I dropped it. But two months later she was still harassing me and I took a trip to get away but it only made things worse. She claimed to have slept with him while I was away and the very same day that I came back he picked me up and when I opened the car door her bank card fell on my shoes. He said that it must have been from the only time he hung out with her and again I dropped it even though I wasn't sure about it. For months she continued by leaving him voicemails claiming to be pregnant and I only know because I checked his phone while he was asleep. We almost broke up a lot of times because of her but got over it. Anyways finally in April she sent me a sonogram picture on facebook saying she was 4 months pregnant and in 5 months I'll know the truth. This month makes 5 months and even though I know she isn't pregnant and only said that to hurt me it's on my mind. Question is:: am I being immature by not being able to forget her or is it just to much to forget??
a_woman Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 this is a horrible situation to be in and you are not immature at all by not being able to let go. he lied to you, how do you feel about that?
Author Lost_little_Angel Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 Honesly it hurts me because there are things that he says that I know are lies... I know that no one is perfect and don't think he's a bad bf but I hate feeling this way...
Sophia8 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I do not think that you are being immature, this is a lot to have to deal with. It's a difficult situation to find yourself in, I've had something similar happen to me a few years ago, except the woman involved was not claiming to be pregnant. During which time I felt as though I was going crazy because my now ex was claiming that she was lying and that basically I was stupid to believe her, I ignored the alarm bells at first but in the end I confronted him one last time... turns out she was telling the truth. With that said though, she could be lying I have a couple of male friends who had terrible problems in their relationships because another woman became obsessed with them, and they were completely innocent. However it is not a good sign that he is lying to you, are the alarm bells still going off?
Author Lost_little_Angel Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 Not really seeing that we now live together but I still can't get her off my mind... I'm afraid that this is going to only hurt my relationship because she pops in and out of our lives... I guess I'm just holding my breath waiting for her to reappear
xtremegirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I am seeing a lot of red flags! First off, he LIED about hanging out with her. If it was NOTHING, he wouldn't have lied. Sonogram pictures have the date, time, and name of the person on them. Did you see that information? I would evaluate his stories. It seems to me like something happened. What a crappy situation to be in. I am so sorry you have to go through this.
Author Lost_little_Angel Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 The sonogram had her name and the date on it but that was it... I told him to go to her next appointment with her and I wanted to be there to see for myself but he said no cause he had nothing to hide...the following week later he went with her and told me that he spoke to her doctor but who said she was some weeks... She just wanted him to pay for the abortion cause her bf didn't have the money and blah blah blah... I don't even know anymore... Everyone says leave but it's so hard
xtremegirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 The sonogram had her name and the date on it but that was it... I told him to go to her next appointment with her and I wanted to be there to see for myself but he said no cause he had nothing to hide...the following week later he went with her and told me that he spoke to her doctor but who said she was some weeks... She just wanted him to pay for the abortion cause her bf didn't have the money and blah blah blah... I don't even know anymore... Everyone says leave but it's so hard Of course it's hard. It's easier said than done. However, if you are willing to stay with him, you must let this go then. Because if not, it will eat away at you and eventually your relationship will fail.
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