Lucky555 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 i was the date of a guy and his friends. we went to an upscale place and were having drinks. There were six of us. I had just been meeting his friends for the first time. During their conversations they just started talking sexually. It was the third time i have been out with the guy. I find the conversation they were all having, except me to be ridiculous. I don't think that it was appropriate especially when they were just meeting me, they didn't know me, but it was like they had no class. For me that ruined the night. Here i was thinking wow this is such a lovely place, the date is going good, the drink is excellent, and im having a good time.....then bam their conversation is sex. Its girls/guys. I just don't understand. Maybe if i was just friends with them all it would be different but I WAS someones date. He didn't even think anything of it either. I'm not with him now but don't you think this is just so not cool??
caramel c Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Ya this is very inappropriate. I would be very uncomfortable in this situation. Well, you said you're not with this guy now so that means you don't have to be bothered with his friends.
alexlakeman Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Where their other females in the group? Then it was no disrespect, they were just treating you as part of the group. Did you expect every one to be walking on their tipitoes while you are around? If you were the only female? Hmm, I'd probably bail with you and leave my freinds' sexual talk... but not a deal breaker... unless you are in such high demand...
Author Lucky555 Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 I think their conversation was just really not classy. I think they were just really not even considerate. They were like a bunch of immature teenagers at the age of 30! I never encountered that when meeting guys friends. Usually every guy I have been with a met his friends they usually asked questions and tried to get to know me it they were talking about different things. No group of friends that I have met other than this group.. Was talking about detailed conversation about sex. Really it's so not classy.
caramel c Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Where their other females in the group? Then it was no disrespect, they were just treating you as part of the group. Did you expect every one to be walking on their tipitoes while you are around? If you were the only female? Hmm, I'd probably bail with you and leave my freinds' sexual talk... but not a deal breaker... unless you are in such high demand... I don't think it matters if there was only one female or if there were five, it is inappropriate. Gentlemen should refrain from these types of conversations while a female or females are present. If that is called walking on tiptoes, then yes, but I don't see it that way. A classy group of guys shouldn't need to try that hard to behave for a few hours.
zengirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 It sounds like there were other issues, like their not caring or noticing your discomfort of the discussion, them not wanting to get to know you, and this guy in general not being attentive to your feelings in the situation. Probably why you aren't together now! i was the date of a guy and his friends. we went to an upscale place and were having drinks. There were six of us. I had just been meeting his friends for the first time. During their conversations they just started talking sexually. It was the third time i have been out with the guy. I find the conversation they were all having, except me to be ridiculous. I don't think that it was appropriate especially when they were just meeting me, they didn't know me, but it was like they had no class. For me that ruined the night. Here i was thinking wow this is such a lovely place, the date is going good, the drink is excellent, and im having a good time.....then bam their conversation is sex. Its girls/guys. I just don't understand. Maybe if i was just friends with them all it would be different but I WAS someones date. He didn't even think anything of it either. I'm not with him now but don't you think this is just so not cool?? It would depend on what said sexual talk was to me. I'm not terribly fussy with language, but then I used to work in advertising with men that would say quite foul things. (It was the attitudes behind it, if there were any, that bothered me. I don't like people who objectify others, including sexually.) I don't mind when people talk about sex, so long as they aren't talking like people are objects. For instance, if someone was telling a story that happened to them that happened to have sexual details in it, that wouldn't bother me. If someone was talking about a hot blond across the room they'd like to bang in filthy ways with a demeaning attitude about it, like she was a blow up doll and not an actual person, that would bother me (a simple "I'd do her" or "I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers" or "That girl is sexy" wouldn't bother me, unless it was from my date---I don't really think on an early date, it's appropriate to acknowledge that other people are sexy, mostly because it makes people crazy and everybody who's halfway decent knows that). I don't think all sex is some taboo subject that must never be mentioned in my presence. It is a thing that can be misconstrued, so usually better not to bring it up early on (good rule of thumb: If you aren't having it together, don't talk too much about it!), but it's not like a huge taboo.
Author Lucky555 Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 It sounds like there were other issues, like their not caring or noticing your discomfort of the discussion, them not wanting to get to know you, and this guy in general not being attentive to your feelings in the situation. Probably why you aren't together now! It would depend on what said sexual talk was to me. I'm not terribly fussy with language, but then I used to work in advertising with men that would say quite foul things. (It was the attitudes behind it, if there were any, that bothered me. I don't like people who objectify others, including sexually.) I don't mind when people talk about sex, so long as they aren't talking like people are objects. For instance, if someone was telling a story that happened to them that happened to have sexual details in it, that wouldn't bother me. If someone was talking about a hot blond across the room they'd like to bang in filthy ways with a demeaning attitude about it, like she was a blow up doll and not an actual person, that would bother me (a simple "I'd do her" or "I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers" or "That girl is sexy" wouldn't bother me, unless it was from my date---I don't really think on an early date, it's appropriate to acknowledge that other people are sexy, mostly because it makes people crazy and everybody who's halfway decent knows that). I don't think all sex is some taboo subject that must never be mentioned in my presence. It is a thing that can be misconstrued, so usually better not to bring it up early on (good rule of thumb: If you aren't having it together, don't talk too much about it!), but it's not like a huge taboo. I too have been around people who talk about sex and it doesn't bother me because its their prerogative. However, there is a appropriate time for it and not so appropriate times for it. This date not being an appropriate time. Thanks all for the input.
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