Lucky555 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Could someone please give me some insight? A guy that i was seeing keeps contacting me doesn't want a "real relationship". He already proved that when he and I were exclusive and he distanced himself A LOT! Its like he wanted the physical part only if he could get it but pretended like his life was so busy. We were friends for a couple years before being exclusive so i figured this was going to be great but it didn't turn out that way. So at one point this guy and i ended exclusivity but then a week later we decided to give it try to see we could work things out. However during this time he did go out with an ex..it was just the two of them. It was a huge shock to me since he said he had VERY little contact with this person. I found out there was more to the story that she actually was in VERY frequent contact with him to the point where she went to his place and to his work!!! she actually was in his place oh yes and she wants him back. So this was the shocker and he told me that i was immature. He claimed she didnt want him back but he basically lied about that too since he told a friend who is my friend too that she wants him badly...I ended all things with him after this because this was not a good sign for a new relationship which i thought was happening. Now a few months later he is contacting me with random conversations just to keep contact. I have little desire for this guy after i found out that the ex was still lingering in his life. He basically lied to me and was "using" me. At first it was not a bother to me because he didn't really talk that often but little by little he started contacting me more. His conversations are about the stupidest things..then one day he brings up the subject about how things went wrong between him and I. So he said that at the point when he did hang out with the OW, he and i were not together so it shouldn't have been a problem. well after i told him exactly what i said here about him pursing me/seeing eachother that it was totally wrong and he agreed. I also told him about the ex situation and how uncomfortable i am with it if i was seeing someone like that....he told me good luck because i am going to miss out on a good guy. He never said anything more about it. Obviously he still has some sort of attachment to this ex. I myself want to find someone who i can have a future with where its just me and the other person. There are so many stressors on relationships this would be another huge one on top of everything else!! I know for a fact he would HATE if i had an ex bf calling me or hanging out with me. So i realize this is going NOWHERE! I guess i let him talk to me just to see if he was going to apologize for what he did..which he just admitted that he was wrong. Also to see if he realized what he wanted to do. I gave him a chance so to speak.But instead i got the responses as you see above. Basically its his terms! Thats not a relationship im looking for. So why is he bothering me?? Keep me around for attention, keep me as a just in case booty call?? I didnt sleep with him THANK GOODNESS! Do you think that i am right about the attachment to the past? Am i right/wrong for him to tell his ex to back off if he wants a relationship with me..she contacts him all the time and like i said at least 4-5 times she will see him at work or at his place. Its just the two of them! I have not been talking to him for little bit now because i am done with the the waste of time it is talking to him. I have posted here about this before and its not affecting my life too much as i am just curious as to why he is acting this way. I have never encountered anyone like this and its really puzzling to me. Its like why would someone be like this do they not have other things to do with their life?? One last thing..if he really was interested and wanted to be with me dont you think he would have never even considered seeing an ex??? (just friend in his words..but the fact that she was using his computer, in his house, and going out to eat with him is weird..and who knows what else happened he could be hooking up with her..how do i know. I didn't get to know him on a deeper level) AM I RIGHT?? Please someone give me insight on this. Its just too weird for this to be happening while he was pursing me and kept saying he was busy and didn't have time to make plans!! Over and over he said he was over his past but these signs are just too obvious! The only thing that has made sense to me is that he is looking to hook up with someone else and then dump them and go back with his ex. She had slept with other guys while they had broken up and she also cheated on him. So i think maybe he is just waiting to see what its like with someone else as he had only slept with this one person in his life. Just my thinking. I'm trying to think objectively as i can as its harder to figure it out when i have some emotions regarding this issue. Anyways i am happy. I am ready to date again after three months of this break up. I do have closure on this its just i want to see if I there were any points where I am over reacting or maybe someone has some experiences. I have not had too many successful relationships as i have mostly put my career first. Mostly my relationships were short lived because i was figuring out life and its helped me to see what i want out of future relationships. Any input is appreciated.
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