. Are we friends or more ?

[alwaysconfusedd]

Hello,

I have a situation that I would really appreciate advice on. Ive known a guy for 4 years, we meet at university.We were never friends and we used to hook up (but no sex) for three years on and off. I didnt want to have sex with him because I am a virgin and he was respectful of that, never pressured me into anything. He always had a bit of a reputation for being a player but i didnt listen to what people said. I had strong feelings for him and thats all that mattered to me.

Anyway, he told me throughout the 3 years that he didnt want a relationship b/c he's not ready. I guess i felt resentful and i did some hurtful things to him, i provoked arguements with him ,I would see him and ignore him, and I said things behind his back.

He found out, asked me why I did what I did. I apologised, and we continued hanging out from time to time.

Then by the end of 2008, I decided that I need to forget him and move on. I lost touch with him for a year and half. I would see him, we would stare into each others eyes , but neither one of us would utter a word.

we both dated other people since we lost touch. I got hurt, and started to feel geniuenly regretful for some of the things I had done to him.

So we met, I apologised, we talked and hugged.

A few weeks later I had decided to move away, I contacted him to meet up to say goodbye. We did, he started kissing, touching and hugging me, I reciprocated his actions. But now feel confused. We are still in touch and he said will visit the country I moving to. I told him that I hope he's not joking. He told me that he needs to book his calendar and obtain a visa. When he said that I guess I believe him. Oh , and he refers to me as ' my dear friend' in our emails. So I feel really confused as to were I stand with this guy? My question is how would you define our relationship from what Ive written. I have not written all the details otherwise it would be much longer . If you do take the time to read this and reply I would like to say thank you

oh one last thing !! He's never told me he loves me or anything like that, but on several occasions he's stated that he respects me. Is it time to forget him ? If you were in my shoes would you lose touch with him in order to move on ?

[Axel Moses]

Guys generally won't dance around a subject and get all nervous about admitting their "hidden" feelings while making out with somebody and dating them. Always assume that they are just trying to get you to sleep with them without having to maintain a relationship.

 

Then again I see most men as absolute scum with no mental capacity outside of appeasing their genitals, so my views are probably skewed and not worth listening to.

Edited August 12, 2010 by Axel Moses