shadowplay Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 (edited) Just signed up for OKC a few days ago, and this has happened to me several times. I find it really frustrating, and never know whether it's worth responding if I like the guy's profile. I live on the east coast and an absolutely gorgeous (exactly my type), cool seeming, intelligent guy with a 93% match rating who lives in Santa Barbara just sent me a really sweet message that ended with "too bad you live far away." Sure, I'm interested in this guy, but is there any point in writing back given the distance? Should I write something like "if you're ever visiting the North East, send me a message?" I also don't understand why people bother initiating contact to begin with when there's a 5 hour flight separating you. As the recipient of such a message, I feel like I'm drooling over a delicious dessert that's locked inside a glass case. Edited August 10, 2010 by shadowplay
brainygirl Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 I'd at least send a friendly reply. I'm on okcupid and I've had people from the UK and The Middle East message me. Some of them are kinda funny and sweet. One claims to want to marry me. . . . which is creepy, but he's in Ireland so who cares.
Serenitynow Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 I have to deal with this from women as well. I dont get any traffic locally, but I get women 2 hours or more contact me once in awhile. I dont care what anyone says, I seriously think most of these messages are FWB situations in the works. Think about it, you are hours away. People in LDR pretty much put sex first when you visit each other because your time together is limited. Many of these people actually enjoy the "buffer" zone between you and them. In a nut shell, it allows the best of both worlds. Sex, dating once in awhile, and still independent. (this is in regards to online dating messages, I'm not talking about all LDR, so dont go spoutn off about how your LDR is great)
Author shadowplay Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 I'm going to start referring to these dudes as carrot danglers.
flying Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 This happened to me when I was doing online dating. A guy in LA (I'm on the east coast) sent me a somewhat long email about how great he thought my profile was, blah blah. He had clearly read my profile and his note was very nice, so I wrote back to say thanks, that was cool of you. A day later he emailed me again all "whoa, sorry, didn't mean to give the wrong impression, you're cool but too far away!" Like I was suddenly too eager. I guess he didn't expect me to write back...but why email someone if you don't want a response? Is this some sort of weird message in a bottle, sending-good-vibes-out-into-the-world mentality? People are weird.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Look at this singles map: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2008/03/30/a_singles_map_of_the_united_states_of_america/ Given that, I'd message him back. Maybe he'll visit, you'll fall in love, and he'll move up East. A man has moved for me twice. Neither relationship worked out, because those guys just weren't right for me, but they were fun while they lasted. And the singles map certainly seems accurate to me. When I go down South to visit, I get hit on constantly, by the hottest guys. Kinda makes me wanna get back to my Southern roots.
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