Bogo123 Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Im debating whether or not I should stay in contact with this girl. We went on 4 dates (things got physical on the 1st date, kissed her on the 2nd) and things went well but now I get mixed signals. The last date she rubbed my arms, we kissed a bit, she mentioned "we should do this and that in the future..." but at the same time she said she had to be home by a certain time to watch her favorite show LOL. And on top of that, i'm ALWAYS the one initiating contact/dates when we are not together. Its been a week of no contact so far. So im wondering if I should keep in contact, stay friends, without getting emotionally attached...or just cut her off completely. If I stay in touch, we will hang out here and there, and possibly it will grow into something more. We've had a flirty relationship since the beginning so she knows my intentions. However, what are the benefits of just moving on? I just don't like burning bridges. If she clearly voiced her disinterest and wasn't giving me mixed signals, then of course she'd be gone. But i'm not too sure what to do. I am also dating other girls at the moment.
TaraMaiden Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Does she know she's not exclusive, and that you're multi-dating? Do you expect her to commit to you, if you're clearly not committed to her?
TouchedByViolet Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Does she know she's not exclusive, and that you're multi-dating? Do you expect her to commit to you, if you're clearly not committed to her? Sounds like he wouldnt mind committing if she was actually interested. I recommend disappearing and letting her contact you... That way she has to work for it a little
Author Bogo123 Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 The best course of action is to disappear from her. If she was really disinterested then you stopped wasting your time. Also no contact will probably make her initiate sometime in the near future. Then you can play on her terms, but even then I wouldn't take anything seriously from her. Really I'd just let her go and move on. But she is a bit old fashioned in the sense that she expects the man to lead and initiate. After our first date, I didn't contact her for a week because I got caught up with work. But once I did she sounded ecstatic and then began texting me here and there. Maybe she feels like she's bothering me by initiating? Does she know she's not exclusive, and that you're multi-dating? Do you expect her to commit to you, if you're clearly not committed to her? She doesn't know and I don't know if she is seeing other guys. Honestly I would rather date one person at a time. But ever since she started throwing mixed signals at me (weeks before our last date) was when I decided to seek other women just so I don't get too attached to someone that doesn't feel the same way.
TaraMaiden Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Well, in that case, you either need to be honest with her, and tell her you do not consider yourselves exclusive, and that you are dating others - or you need to cut off contact with her and wait to see whether she gets back in touch with you. But I figure if you are contentedly dating other girls, she can't mean all that much to you, because trust me - you wouldn't, if she did. And you'd be making more effort yourself to give her positive feedback. You're basically messing around for the fun of it, which is fine. but at least be honest about it.
Author Bogo123 Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Well, in that case, you either need to be honest with her, and tell her you do not consider yourselves exclusive, and that you are dating others - or you need to cut off contact with her and wait to see whether she gets back in touch with you. But I figure if you are contentedly dating other girls, she can't mean all that much to you, because trust me - you wouldn't, if she did. And you'd be making more effort yourself to give her positive feedback. You're basically messing around for the fun of it, which is fine. but at least be honest about it. Why should I tell her everything when she's not showing that much interest? The way I act around her, she would never guess I started seeing other girls because im very affectionate with her. Im not going to put all my eggs in one basket and confess my feelings for her, when she's throwing mixed signals and not being upfront herself.
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Well in that case - drop her. If this is a one-way thing, you're on to a loser...aren't you? I'm failing to see what the problem is.... if you're behaving in this way to grab her attention, in some kind of 'spiteful' way, that's not working either, is it? Look: If you throw fish at a seal, and he won't eat them...guess what? it ain't hungry. It's not interested. It won't eat. Doesn't matter how many fish you wave under its nose...it will ignore you... So? Quit throwing fish.... Isn't that the most logical thing to do?
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