Marshmallow Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 So basically i'm in a 'friends with benefits' relationship. Except this one is different to all the FWB relationships i've had before. We've both agreed; 'lets see how things go' 'lets take it slow' It's all good, he's lovely, even wants to spend time with me without sex being involved. He takes me out on dates, he compliments me alot about my personality and looks. He rings or texts me if we dont see eachother. Everything tells me that he really likes me and things are going well, it's practically a relationship really just unofficial. Except this morning whilst having pillow talk he turned around and said to me 'I don't mind if you want to sleep with other people you know, just as long as i know.' but kinda in a jokey way but not...weird. Which was confusing, really confusing. Everything he says and does tells me he really would be upset if i did but then he goes and says that. Is he saying it to see what my reaction would be, do guys do that?
Phateless Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 If he said that to feel out your reaction he's really immature. I say you call him out and ask him what he meant by that.
sultry33 Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Once i had this but it was a on off rs.. i said i been asked out on a date tonight and he said hey you should go.. so i did. Later i told a guy friend and he was like.. never believe that he would be ok about that! Our on/off rs ended that day
Author Marshmallow Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Thankyou... I think he has said it for a reaction, i'm just in the middle of texting him asking if he actually meant it or said it for a reaction. If he says he genuinely doesn't care if i sleep with someone else then it'll probably end very soon as he obviously isn't that bothered about me.
Phateless Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Thankyou... I think he has said it for a reaction, i'm just in the middle of texting him asking if he actually meant it or said it for a reaction. If he says he genuinely doesn't care if i sleep with someone else then it'll probably end very soon as he obviously isn't that bothered about me. A tip for you - don't discuss your relationship through text message or while either of you are working. It doesn't usually end well.
O'Malley Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Everything tells me that he really likes me and things are going well, it's practically a relationship really just unofficial. Unfortunately, it isn't...an fwb is not a progression to an actual relationship. Except this morning whilst having pillow talk he turned around and said to me 'I don't mind if you want to sleep with other people you know, just as long as i know.' but kinda in a jokey way but not. I would take this to mean that he not only does not expect monogamy, but possibly he is making you aware that he has no plans of being monogamous either. He may like you and enjoy spending time with you, but you have no obligations towards each other at this time. What are your expectations out of this situation? This is something you need to discuss with him.
Author Marshmallow Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Thankyou for the tip His reply was 'I was joking' I'm guessing he did it to see how i'd react then, bloody men he's 15 years older than me aswell. They never grow up do they! I feel all silly now!
Author Marshmallow Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Unfortunately, it isn't...an fwb is not a progression to an actual relationship. I would take this to mean that he not only does not expect monogamy, but possibly he is making you aware that he has no plans of being monogamous either. He may like you and enjoy spending time with you, but you have no obligations towards each other at this time. What are your expectations out of this situation? This is something you need to discuss with him. We've already discussed that we are taking things as they come, taking it slow and seeing how it goes... so far so good but i'm in no rush to label it.
sultry33 Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 This is a take thing slow rs.. fwb is just that.. so normal rules dont apply I had fwb that developed into 4yr rs lived together and everything.. hope it goes well
O'Malley Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 We've already discussed that we are taking things as they come, taking it slow and seeing how it goes... so far so good but i'm in no rush to label it. Have you discussed dating or having sex with other people, since you're not exclusive at this time? This may simply be his way of seeing how you feel about it and a good way to find out if your needs are compatible.
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