soinlovewithtwo Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 (edited) My mom thinks this guy Im dating is an absolute creep. other people have joked about how hes crazy etc. Ive known him 3 mths. Hes talked about living with me. we fight all the time. he puts down a lot of things about me. told me that he doesnt trust me because i did modeling and could be a whore because my nose and belly are pierced and i had blonde hair. So i dyed my hair brown and took out my belly ring. he puts down things that i like and pokes fun at them, such as zebra print. he makes fun of a lot of things about me. got upset at me because i asked to go to a $5 movie and his first words were "well are YOU paying?" he always hes kidding and says that Im just being too serious and literal. hes been depressed and told me he was holding a shotgun shell and looking at it earlier, but other than that he was bored. Originally told me hes been engaged once. that he had a 2,3 and a 4 yr rship. then told me that girl A cheated on him after they had a wedding date set(ENGAGED?). THEN told me that his family jokes that him and girl B, an ex from before girl A, his EX FIANCE would get back together someday. So wait...were you engaged once or twice? cuz it isnt the same girl. then said hes been in 3 year rships. when confronted, he said that he doesnt remember specific dates. Tells me "sweet nothings" that feel emotionless. hes put me down when weve fought before. has told me to shut up and never takes no for an answer. he guilts me. he doesnt care when I cry. I guess im writing this all out so I can try and finally see I need to run away. i tried to breakup with him last week, i woke up to 27 missed calls and 4 text messages saying he loves me and that he realizes how amazing i am and that he needs me. Then he acted the same as he was before. I dont even think I like anything about him. Im scared to leave. Scared of him thinking bad of me for leaving him. SCared that maybe Im being too harsh. we dont talk, really. we never have anything to say. he doesnt wana hear about my job. he hates my mom. doesnt want me to move into my own apartment and it makes him sad to hear about cuz im not living with him. Has said he wants to talk about our future, such as wedding and whatever. CREEP? yes? no? Edited August 10, 2010 by soinlovewithtwo
BB07 Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Hon.........from everything you said, you are describing ABUSE. Please, please take this serious. Please get some guidance on recognizing the signs of abuse and you will see that he is doing this to you. You can look it up online or call an abuse hotline, but please, please do something before this escalates and you get hurt.
Mutant Debutante Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 My mom thinks this guy Im dating is an absolute creep. other people have joked about how hes crazy etc. Ive known him 3 mths. Hes talked about living with me. we fight all the time. he puts down a lot of things about me. told me that he doesnt trust me because i did modeling and could be a whore because my nose and belly are pierced and i had blonde hair. So i dyed my hair brown and took out my belly ring. he puts down things that i like and pokes fun at them, such as zebra print. he makes fun of a lot of things about me. got upset at me because i asked to go to a $5 movie and his first words were "well are YOU paying?" he always hes kidding and says that Im just being too serious and literal. hes been depressed and told me he was holding a shotgun shell and looking at it earlier, but other than that he was bored. Originally told me hes been engaged once. that he had a 2,3 and a 4 yr rship. then told me that girl A cheated on him after they had a wedding date set(ENGAGED?). THEN told me that his family jokes that him and girl B, an ex from before girl A, his EX FIANCE would get back together someday. So wait...were you engaged once or twice? cuz it isnt the same girl. then said hes been in 3 year rships. when confronted, he said that he doesnt remember specific dates. Tells me "sweet nothings" that feel emotionless. hes put me down when weve fought before. has told me to shut up and never takes no for an answer. he guilts me. he doesnt care when I cry. I guess im writing this all out so I can try and finally see I need to run away. i tried to breakup with him last week, i woke up to 27 missed calls and 4 text messages saying he loves me and that he realizes how amazing i am and that he needs me. Then he acted the same as he was before. I dont even think I like anything about him. Im scared to leave. Scared of him thinking bad of me for leaving him. SCared that maybe Im being too harsh. we dont talk, really. we never have anything to say. he doesnt wana hear about my job. he hates my mom. doesnt want me to move into my own apartment and it makes him sad to hear about cuz im not living with him. Has said he wants to talk about our future, such as wedding and whatever. CREEP? yes? no? Girl, it makes me really sad that you needed help figuring this out. CREEP, YES. This time, listen to your mom. And hey, listen to yourself: "I don't even think I like anything about him." The only thing I needed to hear, really, was "he doesn't care when I cry." Also, who the hell has a thing against zebra print? I have zebra print shoes, and they are awesome. You are allowed to like what you like. And you don't have anything to talk about, he doesn't want to hear about your day, he hates your mom? He puts you down, says you're like a whore because you're blond? WTF! It's only been three months and he's trying to control where you live? DITCH HIM ALREADY. There should be a you-shaped hole in the wall from you bustin' outta there. And seriously, you need to think about why you were putting up with this sh&t. Start pumping up your self-esteem.
a_woman Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 abusive creep who is trying to isolate you to have complete control over you
bac Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Why are you with him? Is there anything good about him?
Author soinlovewithtwo Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 wasnt sure if i was overreacting because he always said he was kidding about things and was just saying things cuz he was scared of getting hurt. So i broke up with him the other night on the phone. at first, he was "i love you, youre amazing, please give me another chance" blah blah, the whole 9 yards..then at the end when he realized I was really leaving: "Well then I have a few things to get off my chest. your family is white trash. you're the worst F&ck ive ever had, i had to think of other people to get off. you might want to work on that. you're not hot sh-t like you think. Oh and because of how ive felt about you and you did this to me, I hope you're never happy and that you never get married." he said other things but up until the last part i just let him rip into me. I finished with- you're a piece of Sh-t, go to hell. and hung up. And he texted me saying sorry and I never replied. I just hope he stays away for good. I did like having SOMEONE...but the emotional abuse wasnt worth it =S "You'
Mutant Debutante Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 It's way way better to be alone than to be put down like that. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
mr.dream merchant Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Damn that dude needs a grade a ass kickin. Who treats women like that?
slownumbers81 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 (edited) Run, girl! He is bad news... The longer you wait to break up, the harder it will be. Be safe. EDIT: Whoops, I guess you already did :-) I didn't read the full thread before replying. That probably took a lot of courage, I'm glad you were able to stick with breaking up. It may be hard in the next few weeks but you'll move on eventually and find someone who treats you well. Edited August 12, 2010 by slownumbers81
ReadyforLove Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 People throw around the term "sociopath" but there is no need to define what this man is. If you like to be treated like a piece of crap then continue dating him.
AverageJoe Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Why are you with him? I highlighted the quote above for something that is being overlooked. The fact you are asking a question here in regards to his behvior to be acceptable, or on the verge of being acceptable tells me quite a bit about you also. You should consider why you picked him. Think about it and adjust accordingly. How many red flags do you need? Get out! Now!
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