brainygirl Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Ok, so I'm down on dating. I don't want to be done with dating, but I'm certainly not happy with how things have been going lately. I reworked my Okcupid profile. I know I need better pictures, but at the moment I don't have a camera so the ones up will have to do. Can I possibly get some input, without going on and on about my weight, which while I can change, I can't change my body type which will always bee short and squishy. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/alley_g
USMCHokie Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 1) A couple times in your profile, you say something about yourself, and then add a "but I'm..." almost as if you are negating your positive qualities...e.g. gourmet cook, helping people, etc. Just focus on your positive attributes and leave it at that. Don't say something about yourself and then add the "but not really..." If it's not genuinely something that you enjoy, then just leave it out completely... 2) You kind of lightly touch on a wide variety of different things within your profile. Try to elaborate on one or two things within the profile...something that's important to you or may be of particular interest in guys looking at your profile...basically give them something to ask you more about that isn't just the standard fare (TV, music, movies, career, etc). 3) Interesting journals though...I RARELY see any women that actually have several journal entries...they certanly help to understand you a bit better...but just don't go on about how dating sucks, etc...it's not cute... That's it for now...decent profile content that wouldn't cause me to immediately click next...just flesh it out a little more...
Author brainygirl Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Thanks, the journals are old actually, I forgot the were there to tell the truth.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Brainy, Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I am not doing too flash with dating either. I REALLY like your third picture in your profile. I think you should have it as a main pic, just so you will get more clickthroughs.
alexlakeman Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Obviously you know the weight issue.. umm, I do NOT know how men like their women in Iowa, so you might be fine, but I would change that pic with the checkerboard shirt for one in a dress or something sexier / feminine? Others have touched upon the words part, so I am not going to bother reading it.. You're definitely cute, but some people have specifics on their taste, I guess.. have you thought of wearing contacts and make up? I wear contacts btw, I hate going out in glasses, lol...although some women say it's fine others hate them, lol.. Good luck, just put more into the words, etc.. and try a pay site, just MY opinion, based on experience.. Good luck
TouchedByViolet Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 The "i'm really good at" section made me LOL. I completely relate. Good luck!
Author brainygirl Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Obviously you know the weight issue.. umm, I do NOT know how men like their women in Iowa, so you might be fine, but I would change that pic with the checkerboard shirt for one in a dress or something sexier / feminine? Others have touched upon the words part, so I am not going to bother reading it.. You're definitely cute, but some people have specifics on their taste, I guess.. have you thought of wearing contacts and make up? I wear contacts btw, I hate going out in glasses, lol...although some women say it's fine others hate them, lol.. Good luck, just put more into the words, etc.. and try a pay site, just MY opinion, based on experience.. Good luck my eyes actually cannot tolerate contacts, I've tried several brands and kinds and its no use. The eye doctor told me it had to do with my tears not being viscous enough. So, its glasses for me. I do wear light makeup, but not much. It figure its better to be comfortable and without makeup than uncomfortable with . . . .
spookie Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 (edited) Hey brainy, I would take out the "I hate summarizing myself in a paragraph" bit. I don't know anyone who likes it, and it starts your profile off on a negative vibe. Oh and, you're cute! I personally would not even classify you as a person with a huge weight problem, so I think you need to stop worrying about that! However, IMO, the pics you have up of your face are not flattering. The first is at an odd angle, tho I love your hair in that picture. The second is too webcammy, and the lighting is too dim. How about getting a friend to take some cuter pictures? Also, maybe dress it up a tad/ take off the glasses/ let your hair down? I understand your wanting to be true to life, but you won't be wearing your glasses to bed.... so I don't think you're exactly being deceptive by showing how well you clean up (which I bet is GOOD). Just my 0.02. Edited August 10, 2010 by spookie
Author brainygirl Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Hey brainy, I would take out the "I hate summarizing myself in a paragraph" bit. I don't know anyone who likes it, and it starts your profile off on a negative vibe. Oh and, you're cute! I personally would not even classify you as a person with a huge weight problem, so I think you need to stop worrying about that! However, IMO, the pics you have up of your face are not flattering. The first is at an odd angle, tho I love your hair in that picture. The second is too webcammy, and the lighting is too dim. How about getting a friend to take some cuter pictures? Also, maybe dress it up a tad/ take off the glasses/ let your hair down? I understand your wanting to be true to life, but you won't be wearing your glasses to bed.... so I don't think you're exactly being deceptive by showing how well you clean up (which I bet is GOOD). Just my 0.02. Thanks, the pics are a work in progress, at the moment I don't own a camera (mine was stolen on a trip) so I'm having to make do with what I have, but its on my list of "stuff to buy soon" so hopefully I can get better pictures up.
zengirl Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Well, the two middle pictures are less-than-flattering. It's mostly the lighting and clothing (checks do not photograph well). But you already know about that, so I won't harp on it. I like the first one. Self-Summary I'm never a fan of long strings of adjectives like you start with, but it's so short and direct in general, I think you're fine. I'm looking to meet someone fun and smart to spend time with, go do things with and see what happens from there. Maybe this is because you're in Kansas and there are only a small number of things to do, but it just made me wonder "What things?" Maybe list one thing and say "other things" -- then we get a hint of your interests. Interests make people interesting. I know you hint at them above, but we can always get more. You seem introverted, down to Earth (kudos for not announcing how "down to Earth" and "laid back" you are; that's a big cliche), and cool. What I'm Doing I never know about the wording of the Mom thing. It's hard for me to say because, honestly, I don't date fellows with kids. (I love kids. I've no judgment. It's just the phase of my life and all the traveling I've done/probably still want to do.) But the "wonderful little" phrasing is off-putting to me. Not that your kids aren't wonderful, or you shouldn't think they are. . . I don't know what it is. That phrase always makes me think of women I've no interest in befriending or having conversations with, which isn't true of plenty of mothers (some of my closest friends have kids) or even the vibe I get from you. It reminds me of the women who raise monsters, over-mother, and can't see any wrong in any of their kids actions. But that might just be me, overreacting to two words. Really Good At Lose "over thinking things." Why are you leading with a flaw? Making jokes that no one seems to get is self-deprecating yet cute, so that's fine. The rest are lovely. I like your First Notice a lot. It seems conversational. Man, that question is stupid anyway. (Dude, look at a picture and SEE. I don't know. ) My Favorites: I like the way you explain your interests a bit. Your 6 Things are typical but good. I, personally, hate your I Spend a Lot of My Time Thinking About, but that's more my live-in-the-now thing, I think. And no one really cares about that section anyway. You probably need a more plan type of guy than I do anyway, as you've got kids and live where you live etc. That said, it still sounds a little too "I worry" for me. Worrying is not sexy. I like the way you handle the single parent thing in Friday, showing "Hey, I can be a Mom AND have a life." MostPrivate and MessageMe are also good.
Author brainygirl Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Thanks all, I appreciate the input. I DO think its funny that things one person liked, another didn't. I guess that's what makes us individuals. I will get a camera and take some better pictures, although I always feel silly vamping up at a camera.
curlygirl40 Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Hi. I know you already mentioned the pictures and will add some others when you can. But had a thought/idea for when that time comes. If you had a first date how would you wear your hair?? When you have it cut does your hair stylist blow it out or style it for you in a way you love? Next time you have this done, ask a friend to snap some pictures of you right after. You are cute and I think a picture on a 'good hair day' would attract more attention. I am in a business where I needed a new professional pic so I did what I described above. I had a friend (who is an amateur photographer) take some pictures of me in a park on the same day I had my hair dresser do my hair. I love those pictures!! They show the 'best' of me. And when I go on a date that's how I would wear my hair anyway, so even if on a crazy errand day I have my hair in a scrunchy, it's not the way I would want my pictures to look on a dating website. Good luck!! I think you have some good feedback here.
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