1st Date Went Great Now I Am Receiving Mixed Signals And Its Driving Me Crazy ?

[The Crown]

Okay so me and this very amazing girl had been meaning to get together for sometime but our schedules were conflicting. All contact was very flirty and I could tell she was into me. I finally take her out to a date on Wednesday of last week. We get dinner which we finish quickly then we just sip on drinks and talked for like 3 hours. I was making her laugh I felt a good vibe. We finally leave dinner and say our goodbyes. texts later that night are positive with smiley faces and such. The next morning on Thursday she texts me again saying "thanks for dinner it was def a good time :)" On Friday I initiate text small talk and she asks what are my plans and I tell her and she says something along the lines of "i definitely will contact you :)". I say something funny like "I am breaking rules by following up this soon haha" she asks what rules those are and I say"the making sure I am making progress with a hott girl rule" she responds with laughs and says "youre doing good :)". On Saturday she says she is going to a particular bar and I text suggesting we do dinner before that. I never get a response. I send a second text waaaay later in the night kind of joking around that "she is being lame for selective texting me and that I am at such and such a place getting wild feel free to join" (we both go out a lot to bars often). I didnt get a response at that was Saturday. I have not heard from her since and I have not contacted her again yet and I am confused. Everything was going so great, the date was perfect, I had lots of positive vibes via text until she did not respond saturday night. What is my next step? What should I say to her to test the waters or to bring myself back in to the fold and figure out where I stand? Everything went as planned and better then I could have hoped leading up to not responding to me Saturday night.

 

Anyway thank you in advance for reading this and offering any advice from a guys or girls perspective if you had similar situations. Thanks.

[Bogo123]

Ok so you have 2 unanswered texts. I would give it one last shot, preferably a phone call to set up the next date. She may have been busy or gotten too wasted Saturday.

[sbarrow47]

Could be a number of things, but I will say this - texting again won't help. Yeah she could be busy or something, but if she really wants to talk she will make time (ask yourself what you would do). Guys have a way of thinking of a thousand excuses why she didn't answer.

 

Give it some time and try again, most importantly just be casual and try to identify what pushes her away and not do it.

[K'aycie]

I say something funny like "I am breaking rules by following up this soon haha" she asks what rules those are and I say "the making sure I am making progress with a hott girl rule" she responds with laughs and says "youre doing good :)". On Saturday she says she is going to a particular bar and I text suggesting we do dinner before that. I never get a response. I send a second text waaaay later in the night kind of joking around that "she is being lame for selective texting me and that I am at such and such a place getting wild feel free to join" (we both go out a lot to bars often).

 

I think maybe those comments in bold, could have been perceived as you just wanting to have sexy time.

[The Crown]

Could be a number of things, but I will say this - texting again won't help. Yeah she could be busy or something, but if she really wants to talk she will make time (ask yourself what you would do). Guys have a way of thinking of a thousand excuses why she didn't answer.

 

Give it some time and try again, most importantly just be casual and try to identify what pushes her away and not do it.

 

Thanks I know it could be a number of things. It's just that our date and correspondence after wards went so well that it seemed odd she didn't respond Saturday. Maybe it was coming on too strong asking for a second date so soon? What do you think? I agree texting is not the answer. I guess I should call? When should that be and what should be said to make her the most comfortable?

[The Crown]

I think maybe those comments in bold' date=' could have been perceived as you just wanting to have sexy time.[/quote']

 

Yeah those definetely weren't my intentions at the this current moment, what's the next step since everything up to that point went so well

[K'aycie]

Yeah those definetely weren't my intentions at the this current moment, what's the next step since everything up to that point went so well

 

Call her and ask her out on a date.

[The Crown]

Yeah the first date went well and follow up went well until she randomly did not respond Saturday. Is it ok to call tomorrow? And how should I approach asking for a second date?

[jackfergusion]

I think you should try to contact her again may she has some misunderstanding or anything else. If she response you than ask her for her this misbehaviour. You have not done any mistake, it was just a fun and I don't think so that this matter can cause any trouble. You just try once and if you don't get any response than leave her.

[The Crown]

Yeah everything was positive with the date and we had great follow up convos through Saturday until she did not respond. Is it good I gave it 3 full days (sun-mon-tues). I am going to call her mid day tomorrow so it does not seem like I am coming on to strong? Maybe that is why she did not respond Saturday perhaps based on my original post? Her status today on bbm was along the lines of "maybe our friends are our true soulmates and guys are just people we have fun with. out with the girls etc." I wonder what she is thinking can anyone take a good guess at what is going on from my original post and if tomorrow is a good time to call for a second date and how I should ask?

 

Thanks again

[Serenitynow]

You also have to consider, that maybe she was looking for a hookup.

 

Many times guys dont think of this scenario, but girls do like to just have fun with no ties. Of course they never admit it, and they think they give off HUGE signs, which in reality you cant even see with the Hubble.

 

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[Fouts]

She's seeing other people, doing other things, it's her way of letting you know you're not a priority for her. A ton of things could've happened between your good date, Saturday evening and beyond. These situations rarely reverse themselves, but good luck and I hope she gets back in touch with you.

[D-Lish]

After 2 unanswered texts, I wouldn't call!

If she can't be bothered to return your texts, not sure what making yet another attempt is going to accomplish.

[that girl]

I think it is a little iffy to contact someone on a Saturday and basically invite yourself along for an impromptu second date. And then you called her lame for not responding on a Saturday night.

 

I think she should have gotten back to you by now, but in future call a girl a day or two in advance to set up a date.

[Sabali]

Whatever you do, please do not text her again. I wouldn’t even call her. I think texting just screws up people when it comes to dating. Really. Look how it is driving you up the wall because she hasn’t responded to your text. You see how someone can have you over the barrel by just not responding to a text? It seems to have more power than not returning an email or a call.

 

It has been my experience and listening to others over the years that a first dates going well means nothing. This is what can also have you going crazy because you felt every thing was right but when it comes to dating, guy, you must have several great dates before you can take anything to the bank. A great first date is marginally better than no date at all for men, in my opinion.

 

I don’t think her ignoring you is a good sign and “yes” she got your text message. Don’t let this drive you crazy. The dating gods just have to do this to us every once in a while to shake things up.

[The Crown]

Well I feel everything went well enough that a text not returned on a Saturday can be overlooked, she responded positively to everything leading up to that after the date. I don't want to come off as stubborn or beat a dead horse so I ask if I am dead set on just making one final attempt is that ok? And what should I say? (Little side note she has 2 full time jobs that overlap the weekend and nights so it wouldn't be a huge stretch that shes been busy a couple days) If you were in my position based on everything I have told you, how would your final attempt go? What would you say that could be the most successful or at least come off as casual to her and at the same time maybe get a better sense of what's going on?

[D-Lish]

Do what you need to do.

If you want to make the call, go ahead.

 

Nothing you could say is going to make her like you more or less than she already does or doesn't.

 

She hasn't returned your texts dude- why do you want to chase?

[mortensorchid]

So did you get a response at all? Don't keep us in suspense! Ha ha ha ... But seriously, I would call - don't TEXT something, CALL her. If you get her voice mail, leave a voice mail. If she doesn't respond, then move on.

[The Crown]

I just feel like date and all the follow up convos went great so one instance where i didn't get a response on a drunk saturday night should not hold more weight than everything else that went on with her responses even that same day prior to the text where she was unresponsive to.

 

Also a side note I have inside info about her from a mutual acquaintance, and I get the sense she gets into relationships with guys that are "tools" (not putting them down just she could do way better according to my friend) I am fun, outgoing, good looking, have a lot of friends, know how to have a good time so I don't want to give her the slightest sense she can assume she can own me, text me on her time, and have me bow down like some other guys that have low self esteem she has dated in the past. That was the reason I straight up said half jokingly along the lines of "the selective texting does not work for me, hit me up I'm getting wild feel free to join" That night on Saturday I was at bars with my friends talking to other girls so as much as I like to see here again I am not some guy with no options waiting on her. I am not saying any of this to come off as having an ego all I want is closure whether that is one last attempt that fails or another couple dates that work themselves out however it is meant to be.

 

If it were you what would you say short, sweet and to the point when I call tomorrow?

[The Crown]

So did you get a response at all? Don't keep us in suspense! Ha ha ha ... But seriously, I would call - don't TEXT something, CALL her. If you get her voice mail, leave a voice mail. If she doesn't respond, then move on.

 

Thanks for everyones input so far it is much appreciated. I will CALL tomorrow and either speak to her or leave a message. And I will MAKE SURE to let you all know how it went down. Thanks again for everyones advice

[D-Lish]

so I don't want to give her the slightest sense she can assume she can own me, text me on her time, and have me bow down like some other guys that have low self esteem she has dated in the past. That was the reason I straight up said half jokingly along the lines of "the selective texting does not work for me,

 

So, your answer is to contact her AGAIN after 2 unanswered texts?

I'd say you are bowing down like every other guy then. You have become the dude with the low self esteem that she has dated in the past.

 

You've told her that selective texting doesn't work for you, but your actions say otherwise- because you're about to contact her for the third time when she hasn't answered your 2 previous texts.