LK30 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Hi everyone, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Lee and probably the most unsuccessful dater ever! I have been rejected quite a few times, and had several failed relationships, mainly I feel, because I have met them through online sites and blind dates, hence I have not done things the usual and natural way of getting to know someone then it progressing into a r'ship. I am really keen to meet someone this time the natural way as I want to be in control and not feel that I don't deserve to meet someone nice. I would say I'm average looking but I have a nice personality. Yet I just seem to have no luck in love! I have been single over 6 months, and I feel invisible to women around me, or I seem to find myself attracted towards women who I then find out are attached, or I can't get in situations to develop a r'ship. I don't know really what to write as I feel I am just ranting, but I feel that I must be doing something wrong and I don't know how to change it! I just want to meet someone I can really fall in love with, and as every day passes I feel like time is slipping by even though I am 30! I just can't seem to break the deadlock and I just feel I could end up alone for a long time now. In some ways I wish I had stuck with my ex and appreciated her more, and the single lifestyle just makes me think about her alot and miss her! As wrong as that may be!! Thank you for reading!
sbarrow47 Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 It is difficult to get out of a drought. The best way though really is to try (yeah it's hard) to just not worry about it too much. Go about your normal business, stay busy. The best relationships happen by accident, always.
nyr81 Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 It is difficult to get out of a drought. The best way though really is to try (yeah it's hard) to just not worry about it too much. Go about your normal business, stay busy. The best relationships happen by accident, always. I'm sorry but everyone says that but it is garbage. You have to be proactive. The guy has to be! Every time I take the advice of people that say just go about your life without trying to find love, nothing ever happens of course. The girls are not going to come to you (unless you're a stud.) Get out there and be proactive.
Green Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Hi everyone, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Lee and probably the most unsuccessful dater ever! Even if this was meant as humor it is obviouse that you have low self esteem and feel sorry for yourself. STOP FEELING SORRY its pointless and you need to live in the here and NOW. I have been rejected quite a few times, and had several failed relationships, mainly I feel, because I have met them through online sites and blind dates, hence I have not done things the usual and natural way of getting to know someone then it progressing into a r'ship. I am really keen to meet someone this time the natural way as I want to be in control and not feel that I don't deserve to meet someone nice. ONLINE is a horible way to meet women. You give away all your power as a man and put yourself in a horible position that gives the women all the power to choose. Plus you add extra steps. Blind dates are fine but really you have given up your power and you really are relying on luck of who agrees to go out with you. TAKE CONTROL 1) aproach and flirt with women (attractive women are all over the place from the mall,park,library,stores ect... so APROACH AND FLIRT) a) Flirting is just silly fun conversation meant to be FUN for YOU...and hopefuly the girl has fun too 2) ASK THEM OUT don't get shy and walk away, after flirting for a few minutes ASK THEM OUT... don't let your silly fears of rejection stop you 3) GET THEIR CONTACT INFO just pull out your phone and ask them to put your name and number in... call them right aways and say "now you have my number too" You should try and get contact info even if they say "NO" when you ask them out... because unless they say "NO NEVER" you really have more shots. 4) KISS THEM ON THE LIPS... you come off as a lame scared guy if you don't TRY for a LIP KISS on the first date. DON"T ASK JUST DO IT. I would say I'm average looking but I have a nice personality. Yet I just seem to have no luck in love! I have been single over 6 months, and I feel invisible to women around me, or I seem to find myself attracted towards women who I then find out are attached, or I can't get in situations to develop a r'ship. 6 months is not a long time to be single. YOU DON'T TRY so you have no right to complain. You need to do the things I wrote above 1)Aproach and flirt with women you find attractive 2) ASK THEM OUT 3) get their contact info 4) KISS THEM... ANd you need to do this atleast a few times a week. because that means you are trying. Right now all you are doing is blaming "LUCK" and feelings sorry for yourself. GO TRY. COme back with and UPDATE of how you actualy TRIED. I don't know really what to write as I feel I am just ranting, but I feel that I must be doing something wrong and I don't know how to change it! I just want to meet someone I can really fall in love with, and as every day passes I feel like time is slipping by even though I am 30! I just can't seem to break the deadlock and I just feel I could end up alone for a long time now. In some ways I wish I had stuck with my ex and appreciated her more, and the single lifestyle just makes me think about her alot and miss her! As wrong as that may be!! STOP WORRYING SO MUCH ABOUT THE WHAT IFS! In the here and now you know exactly what to do. BE YOURSELF you know the CONFIDENT version of yourself who isn't afraid to just talk to a pretty woman in front of him in line at the store. Just say what comes to mind and then ASK HER OUT... Get her contact info... and KISS her. YOu know what to do and how to fill in the blanks. Please TRY for once in your life. ASK LOTS of girls out. IF you do it in a respectful fun way they will be FLATTERED even if it turns out they are married they will take it as a compliment for the most part. TRY.... UPDATE US START TOMORROW. And don't tell me you didn't see one attractive girl all day. You should be going out looking. Go to a coffee place and just people watch.
Author LK30 Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Hi everyone. Thank you for your replies. Nyr81: I would definitely agree with you that sitting back and waiting doesn't usually work, but people often seem to say that it comes along when you're not looking. For example, surely you wouldn't get the job you wanted if you don't bother looking for one and applying! Green: Very comprehensive reply and good advice. Thanks for taking the time to write all that back. I do agree in most parts with what you say, but sometimes it's easier said than done. Perhaps it's an English mentality as we are known for lacking confidence, and i am awful personally at making small talk which is odd as I enjoy meeting new people and on a recent date I was really chatty! I have a wedding to go to on Saturday, and I am an Usher so I will be looking smart hopefully. Therefore I hope... a) There are some nice girls there! b) A few of them are single! c) There isn't too much male competition d) I actually get the opportunity to chat to at least one single girl e) She actually likes me!! Wish me luck!!
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