Gattica Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 The coworker I was seeing briefly this spring/summer is really starting to wear on me. We went from keeping things strictly professional(per my request), to he started small talk(which I asked we skip the small talk) and now he is taking the small talk further and telling me about his weekend and such and asking me about mine. I don’t know how to stop him from doing so. I don’t want to know anything about his life outside of work. He knows that I would prefer if he just kept topics work related. I have made that known several times and it is falling on deaf ears. He doesn’t seem to care that I don’t want the small talk and so I have given in and just answer his questions and mirror them back. This all takes place on the telephone, not that that makes a difference. When we are both in the building at the same time, he usually walks by my desk and says hello and waves at me, which is unneccessary. I have tried to ignore him, but he does it whether I pay attention to him or not. I admit that I have allowed it to get to the stage it is currently at because he won’t listen to my request to not ask me anything not work related. It seemed easier to just go with the flow instead of repeating myself and just go ahead and let the small talk happen. Well, now that he is asking me about my weekend and giving me details about his...I don’t want to go down this path. He really hurt me and I don’t want to engage with him on that level. I don’t want to come off as a bitch or as a pushover. Do I leave things as is, even though it makes me uncomfortable or do I try AGAIN to let him know I don’t want the small talk and such?
Author Gattica Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Thanks gamma. Unfortunately, I can't avoid him at work, at least not when he calls on the phone. I do try to ignore him when we are both in the same room. It sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. He is still blowing hot/cold and we are no longer dating. He is just a very odd duck! I am just very friendly and laid back at work and it is very hard to switch off when he calls in to update or get help. I never know which coworker is going to be on the other end of the phone when it rings and sometimes I don't even recognize his voice right off the bat. Like I said, I don't mind him asking how I am (it used to bother me), but anything beyond the standard, generic..."hey, how are you?" is too much for me seeing as I know he doesn't care and I don't care for him to know. I can even see him being generic in asking how my weekend was, I gave a generic answer, but to then tell me about his weekend! What is the point? I then respond back like I was his friend and make a joke! It wasn't intentional, but just a natural response. I guess I will just try ignore anything beyond asking how I am. Don't know exactly how I will do that, but I will try.
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