l3tswryt Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Here's the problem... I'm shy... insanely so. When I'm first talking to someone, I come across as outgoing because I'm pushing myself to be so, but once that first conversation is over the nerves (and the panic) set in. Due to this, I'm horrible dealing with guys, and thus have not really dated (and I'm 22). I work weekends handing out coupons at the base grocery store, and I met a guy that I joked around with and really hit it off with. He asked for my number and later texted me. However, I can't come up with anything to text back. I've seriously been trying to come up with something for hours, which is is just sad. But I'm not a talker... I can barely carry aim/text conversations with my best friend, and that's only because she knows how to get things out of me. I have a weird sense of humor, and while it works in person, via phone/text/aim/etc doesn't work as well. I feel like anything I say will be awkward or forced or just plain dumb, and that at this point I've waited too long. I'd talk to my friend about it like a normal person, but I'm painfully shy to the point of not being able to personally talk about it with anyone I actually know.... Sad, I know. Please help!
Confusedalways Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I am your age and actually have the opposite problem-- shy at first when I meet a cute guy but I open right up after. I don't have much advice for now but my best advice is do NOT not answer because it's 'too late.' You'll regret it, seriously. Something easy like 'hey I just got a chance to answer your text, what's up?!' Is fine. Tomorrow would be too late, but tonight isn't. You'll never know if you don't at least answer the guy! At least stay on his radar.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Breath in and out, first of all. Force yourself to relax and stop over thinking things. Just be yourself. If you stop talking to someone, then you're guaranteed to never have a relationship with them. If you do talk to someone, you might make a fool of yourself (it happens) or say something wrong, but you also might form a deep relationship with the person. You're trying to protect yourself from being rejected, but all you're protecting yourself from is ever having a relationship at all. This is why you haven't dated yet and unless you break the cycle, you'll always be this way. If you mess-up with this guy, it's not the end of the world. There will be other men. There's billions of people in the world and this can be your practice (if it doesn't work out), so you can be more calm at a later date with another man. And people are more forgiving than you think. All of us make fools of ourselves eventually, but that doesn't mean we never get to speak to those people again or that we'll always have that event stamped on our forehead for them for all eternity. Learn to laugh at yourself when you act foolish and you'll be able to get yourself out of lots of different embarassing situations (although not all.) And it's never too late to respond to a text. Unless it's been like a year since you got it. Text messaging is made so that you don't have to respond right away. People can respond at their leisure instead. I text people when I don't want to pressure them to answer their phone or whatever and am feeling patient for their response. You're doing good so far. He texted you because he likes you! Don't blow it by not saying anything back because that's the worst thing you could do right now.
skydiveaddict Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Enchanted is right. Just relax and be yourself. Don't cheat yourself out of the best years of your life because of shyness. Go for it!
meerkat stew Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Would suggest very short responses to texts, one word even. Try "Dork!" for example, or "you are a total goober aren't you" or "your last text made me throw up a little" (ok jk on the last one). Get him out of the habit of texting you ASAP, you want him calling to ask you out, and need practice in interacting in person to overcome the shyness.
jamesum Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Wanna lessen your shyness? Easy. Get on a roller coaster or do something extreme that pumps your adrenaline. It will break you out of your shell instantly. GUARANTEED!
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