counterman Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I know of many girls who have never been asked out... they always tell me they'll never, ever make the first move. They'll just wait for guys to ask them out but the problem is... it's not happening! Some have admitted to feeling very,very lonely. Not just any guys as well, he has to be "right" in almost every way. What happened to taking initiative? Why can't they be proactive? If guys are too scared to ask girls out and girls just wait all day, nothing will happen. No wonder why so many of my friends are single, when they don't want to be.
Green Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 OK, ask one out. Problem solved Seriously. I'm in a relationship so its up to the single guys of the world to grow some balls and ask women out.
skydiveaddict Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Seriously. I'm in a relationship so its up to the single guys of the world to grow some balls and ask women out. very true...............
Author counterman Posted August 7, 2010 Author Posted August 7, 2010 The guy should make the first move if he's interested. It's what I've always been told. If you're interested in a girl, ask her out then you'll see if she's interested. But, is there an equivalent for a girl? Or, is the girl meant to assume that guys aren't interested if none ask her out? Many had the expectation that things would change once they finished high school... but NOTHING is happening. It's funny, my guy friend called me "crude" for asking a couple of girls out in the space of a few weeks and one of girl friends thinks I ask out every girl I see. See the massive exaggerations? To me, this is normal. In fact, I don't think I'm asking enough girls out. I just don't know what it is... Because I'm on this forum and read threads and dating seems to be a norm. But, it seems to be starving amongst my friends. Why do I care? Because I'm tired of hearing complaints and excuses. "I'm not in rush" sounds like crap to me. It's excuse to avoid possible rejection. One of my friends asked a girl out last year, who rejected him and ended up going out with another guy a week later. He was gutted for a year, that he didn't ask another girl out until this year. And guess what? He's in a relationship. Some of girl friends have this perception of what their boyfriend should be.... and it's basically what's portrayed in those Hollywood movies. C'mon. So, what is it? Do they just keep waiting? Or maybe try something different?
Enchanted Girl Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I think that some of them are actually waiting to grow-up and don't realize that they are being immature and will have to learn the hard way. And I think other ones just genuinely don't care that much. Some people really need to date around and be with someone and others are okay alone. Maybe a little sad, but mostly okay. But I think if they really, really wanted to, they'd just do it themselves. I asked my current boyfriend out myself, not the other way around. I was tired of waiting around and lonely.
Green Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 The guy should make the first move if he's interested. It's what I've always been told. If you're interested in a girl, ask her out then you'll see if she's interested. Well this is great advice, but don't stop there. Once you have her out you need to KISS her. I mean just cause a girl lets you take her some where means nothing... KISS means a lot. But, is there an equivalent for a girl? Or, is the girl meant to assume that guys aren't interested if none ask her out? Many had the expectation that things would change once they finished high school... but NOTHING is happening. Girls actualy have it worse. Fist off they find it unromantic to not be asked out... I mean can you imagine how desperate a woman would have to be to go out and buy a ring and then propose to a man. NO they hate that they love being asked. Finaly women can get pregnant. They have an instant attachment to the life inside them. And if they have the baby they just have to trust that the guy will get a job and pay child suport either by being there or through the court system. A lot of women get screwed... so do men... but basicaly women do have to put their trust in the men they choose. It's funny, my guy friend called me "crude" for asking a couple of girls out in the space of a few weeks and one of girl friends thinks I ask out every girl I see. See the massive exaggerations? To me, this is normal. In fact, I don't think I'm asking enough girls out. Only ask out girls you find attractive. Also make sure you have fun with it, flirt, ask a woman out in a way that even if she says no you still may ask her again another day if you see her. Who cares what your friend thinks as long as you are being respectful in the way you talk to these girls. I mean are you going to care what your friend thinks of your gfs looks? hopefuly NOT I just don't know what it is... Because I'm on this forum and read threads and dating seems to be a norm. But, it seems to be starving amongst my friends. Why do I care? Because I'm tired of hearing complaints and excuses. "I'm not in rush" sounds like crap to me. It's excuse to avoid possible rejection. People are really afraid of rejection and failure. It stretches out into all aspects of life. People make up excuses of why they can't do all the great things they want with there life. I TRY to live in the moment. One of my friends asked a girl out last year, who rejected him and ended up going out with another guy a week later. He was gutted for a year, that he didn't ask another girl out until this year. And guess what? He's in a relationship. Well thats the thing. I think getting so upset over one girl is pointless and silly. Hopefuly even he finds it silly looking back and has learned his lesson. We live life in the present. So what does it matter now that he was single for a year while worrying about how he got rejected because he is dating some one in the HERE and NOW. Some of girl friends have this perception of what their boyfriend should be.... and it's basically what's portrayed in those Hollywood movies. C'mon. The same could be said about a lot of men. Don't be afraid to just be yourself because it is the greatest feeling in the world when some one likes you for you.
K'aycie Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I know of many girls who have never been asked out... they always tell me they'll never, ever make the first move. They'll just wait for guys to ask them out but the problem is... it's not happening! Some have admitted to feeling very,very lonely. Not just any guys as well, he has to be "right" in almost every way. What happened to taking initiative? Why can't they be proactive? If guys are too scared to ask girls out and girls just wait all day, nothing will happen. No wonder why so many of my friends are single, when they don't want to be. Erroneous statement. I've taken initiative. Signed By, A Female
zengirl Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I'll ask a fellow out---or at least start a conversation with him and see if there are any signals of attraction, etc---if he seems attracted to me. I'll message a fellow in online dating if I see one I like. I've done part of the initiating of most of my relationships. These gals have just got to get over it, honestly. I think all girls should realize. Plenty of fellows aren't just going to rush up to you and ask you out from across the room, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't like to date you. Many of the best guys are a bit more cautious (I'm not talking about painfully, uncomfortably shy---they just want some signals or something, usually).
jamesum Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 (edited) I know of many girls who have never been asked out... they always tell me they'll never, ever make the first move. They'll just wait for guys to ask them out but the problem is... it's not happening! Some have admitted to feeling very,very lonely. Not just any guys as well, he has to be "right" in almost every way. What happened to taking initiative? Why can't they be proactive? If guys are too scared to ask girls out and girls just wait all day, nothing will happen. No wonder why so many of my friends are single, when they don't want to be. Why do you care? If they wanna have their own little fantasy world in their head, let them. They are the ones who are probably going to grow old alone or end up being with sickos, not you. Dignity doesnt feed you. Girls actualy have it worse. Fist off they find it unromantic to not be asked out... I mean can you imagine how desperate a woman would have to be to go out and buy a ring and then propose to a man. NO they hate that they love being asked.I love being asked by women, too and I find it romantic. Finaly women can get pregnant. They have an instant attachment to the life inside them. And if they have the baby they just have to trust that the guy will get a job and pay child suport either by being there or through the court system. A lot of women get screwed... so do men... but basicaly women do have to put their trust in the men they choose. Yeah, of course if a man asks a woman out, he will never leave her ... Edited August 7, 2010 by jamesum
Confusedalways Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I have no problem initiating conversation but I can't bring myself to ask guys out. I feel like physically unable to. And on top of that, I tend to like shy guys. Probably why my dating life is an epic fail
jamesum Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 (edited) I have no problem initiating conversation but I can't bring myself to ask guys out. I feel like physically unable to. And on top of that, I tend to like shy guys. Probably why my dating life is an epic fail Average guys will ask you out if you clearly show them that you are interested and they are interested as well. Unless they are severely shy. For me, a girl who chats me up and gives me noticeable extra attention, sends me enough signals that she is interested. I dont have problem asking someone out. My biggest problem is breaking the ice. Edited August 7, 2010 by jamesum
GordonDarkfoot Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Average guys will ask you out if you clearly show them that you are interested and they are interested as well. Unless they are severely shy. For me, a girl who chats me up and gives me noticeable extra attention, sends me enough signals that she is interested. I dont have problem asking someone out. My biggest problem is breaking the ice. I think what I used to run into quite a bit when I was dating was that, meet a girl, get to talking, or even out on a date, things would be going well, so you're getting good signals; then one or both of you start getting nervous and the positive signals from the girl can just "stop." As a guy if you lack confidence as I did, you need those positive signals as a guidepost, or else it's very difficult. It doesn't mean the girl has stopped liking the guy when that happens; it just means she's gotten nervous. I guess that's called the "awkward moment." At that point the guy has the obligation to somehow overcome that. Maybe that's the time when Green would say, "KISS."
Author counterman Posted August 7, 2010 Author Posted August 7, 2010 Well, I wouldn't let what my friends say affect how I go about things... just pointing it out that it's just so out of the "norm" for them that they would comment in such manner. I shouldn't care... but I have been asked advice and I always give the same ones. Talk to her, ask her out, kiss her on the date. I think girls do have it worse... but some guys make it seem like they have it incredibly hard because its expected of them to ask the girl out. I find girls a turn on when they take initiative. It has happened a few times, whether a girl gets my number first, or asks to meet up, or even initiates a hug at the end. I think initiating a conversation and even flirting a little is great.
You'reasian Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 (edited) I know of many girls who have never been asked out... they always tell me they'll never, ever make the first move. They'll just wait for guys to ask them out but the problem is... it's not happening! Some have admitted to feeling very,very lonely. Not just any guys as well, he has to be "right" in almost every way. What happened to taking initiative? Why can't they be proactive? If guys are too scared to ask girls out and girls just wait all day, nothing will happen. No wonder why so many of my friends are single, when they don't want to be. I ask plenty of women out on dates. Some turn out to be awesome, hot dates; some are bored, disinterested. If I don't meet all the requirements for a woman, then I move on. Problem solved. Edited August 7, 2010 by You'reasian
Green Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Well, I wouldn't let what my friends say affect how I go about things... just pointing it out that it's just so out of the "norm" for them that they would comment in such manner. People always hold you back if you let them. Don't even think about their poor attitudes to life. It's actualy pretty rude and disrespectful of them to make comments and try to make you feel self consiouse about how you date. I shouldn't care... but I have been asked advice and I always give the same ones. Talk to her, ask her out, kiss her on the date. That sounds like GREAT advice to me. This stuff is complicated to go into any great detail is pointless for any reason other then entertainment. It's better to come back with an actual situation to talk about like how you DID KISS a girl on a date. Really the best advice is to be the confident version of yourself. Not the version of yourself who hides who they are and makes no moves for fear of rejection and ends up comming off as some fake lame guy. I think girls do have it worse... but some guys make it seem like they have it incredibly hard because its expected of them to ask the girl out. I think if you are a MAN then you need to look for the GOOD in being a MAN and be happy and glad with what you have. Some guys like to think girls have it easy. Well the truth is a really shy girl is more likely to get dates then a really shy guy. But the inverse is also true. A really powerful, rich, tall, all around great guy has more power in the dating world then a similar situated woman. The power shifts toward men at the top of the spectrum. I find girls a turn on when they take initiative. It has happened a few times, whether a girl gets my number first, or asks to meet up, or even initiates a hug at the end. I think initiating a conversation and even flirting a little is great. I would encourage women to get over their fear. YES it is a great turn on and compliment to have a woman into you. It rarely happens that a woman will out right ask you out in the way a man does. Women are afraid of asking a man out to dinner and getting "NO" or "Let me think about it". They really for the most part don't enjoy the persuit the way men do either. So don't hold your breath out for it. But yes it is fun when a girl activly chases a man... it can also be anoying to if its an unattractive girl. but a girl becomes more attractive simply by being into you. that is true
dispatch3d Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Well, I wouldn't let what my friends say affect how I go about things... just pointing it out that it's just so out of the "norm" for them that they would comment in such manner. I shouldn't care... but I have been asked advice and I always give the same ones. Talk to her, ask her out, kiss her on the date. I think girls do have it worse... but some guys make it seem like they have it incredibly hard because its expected of them to ask the girl out. I find girls a turn on when they take initiative. It has happened a few times, whether a girl gets my number first, or asks to meet up, or even initiates a hug at the end. I think initiating a conversation and even flirting a little is great. You seem like the only one of them with the right mindset. Just put the information in small manageable chunks for them. Maybe asking a girl out is impossible. Get them to get phone numbers - girls give out their number like it's their job. That will get them excited and they can go to the next stage yadayada. It sounds like they are at the go talk to girls part tho. I'm assuming there's lots of parties with boys+girls at them. Just get them to be more social without the dating thing even in their head. if it's girls then idk. Are they cute? Being cute helps A LOT...
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