Setting things straight: What do women really respond to?

[MrNate]

Alright, there has been tons and tons of debates about what works on women in terms of attracting them. And there has definitely been lots of heavy debates and assumptions, that a lot of women come to defend as being false (such has having amazing looks and lots of cash).

 

So I guess my question is: Ladies, what genuinely attracts you physically/sexually to a male?

 

(Maybe traits such as confidence, good grooming habits, embracing that rejection will happen etc.?)

 

Of course I know these answers will vary, but maybe we can come to a certain conclusion about a set of traits that are just great for any male to have in order to do well in terms of attracting women?

 

I figured this would be a good chance to at least observe what most emotionally healthy women out there respond to- so that guys who need to get on the right track , and are willing to embrace a change, will at least have a good place to start.

 

Let's discuss.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I figured this would be a good chance to at least observe what most emotionally healthy women out there respond to- so that guys who need to get on the right track , and are willing to embrace a change, will at least have a good place to start.

Let's discuss.

 

Most women are not emotionally healthy just as most men are not.

 

Also... I think it's a dumb idea to ask women what works on them. They either don't know or won't be honest.

[OceanTropic]

Physically and sexually it varies, like you said. Then again, I was so attracted to my ex who I thought was very ugly, but sexually I just couldn't keep my hands off him!!

 

I think a lot has to do with chemistry. As for qualities, I would say if a man is up on his own two feet, is stylish in how he dresses (as in not like a slob with ripped or dirty clothes) and if he presents himself as a sophisticted gentleman, then heelllooooo!!!

 

On the inside, he HAS TO HAS TO HAS TO HAS TO be kind, and I mean kind like he will help an old granny with her bags, or will slow down to not run over a squirrel because he isn't an ******* like that. He has to be kind hearted, and with a kind heart I think many other great qualities come with it (honesty, sincerity, generosity etc).

[SteveC80]

Speaking as a Man who done really really well with women id say looks are a huge part of it,height, having a good body and handsome face and you can have your way with most women

 

Ive been told by women theyd leave me for their husbands within minutes of meeting me and beleive me i didnt woo them with my charming personality

 

People are over analyzing women,there just like Men looks are highly important,all these things about confidence or being an ass is garbage as long as a women is animalisitically attracted to you you have her wrapped around your thumb as long as you do nothing too stupid to f it up

 

And if she isnt physically attracted to you no amount of "confidence" or acting like an ass will magically make her attracted to you

 

Women like and adore hot guys as much as we do hot women and will rip there friends eyes out to get to one,believe me

[Untouchable_Fire]

This is the first smart thing I've heard a woman say in a long time, about this issue that is.

Yea, you should be asking men who are successful with women what they're attracted to.

 

and your assuming that I'm a woman... why?

 

I take it your the guy that goes home with transvestites and is shocked the next day.

[Chubbi]

I agree with StevieC80 on this one. Don't get mad! I'm just saying...

 

There is a reason Twilight sales are high and nobody's looking at the girl.... Or that other vampire movies- Dracula, Vampire Diaries, Interview with a Vampire. Those men are just sexually objectified by women/girls all there is to it. Justin Timberlake isn't just a good singer...

 

Okay but then again, people find different things attractive. For example, I had a crush on a guy I thought was cute but none of my friends would admit he was cute!! And then, one of my friends dated this one guy who... um.. not my cup of tea just to say...

 

So I don't know. It depends.

[jadedone]

Confidence and attitude. We've all seen the hot/very cute girls with her arms around a troll.

 

"OMG how on Earth did that guy get that girl?"

 

Yes looks matter, but an average looking guy can score a hottie.

[SteveC80]

I agree with StevieC80 on this one. Don't get mad! I'm just saying...

 

There is a reason Twilight sales are high and nobody's looking at the girl.... Or that other vampire movies- Dracula, Vampire Diaries, Interview with a Vampire. Those men are just sexually objectified by women/girls all there is to it. Justin Timberlake isn't just a good singer...

 

Okay but then again, people find different things attractive. For example, I had a crush on a guy I thought was cute but none of my friends would admit he was cute!! And then, one of my friends dated this one guy who... um.. not my cup of tea just to say...

 

So I don't know. It depends.

 

Ive always found it hillarous when people say women arent visual when theyll buy music because the band or somebody in it is attractive or go see a movie for that reaosn

 

Hell women have voted for presidents off being attractive ie JFK

[somedude81]

So are looks really the only thing that matters? Are women that shallow?

[Chubbi]

Let me put this out:

 

When was the last time any of you men have passed by purse or shoes and said, "Oooooh! How pretty!!"

 

Everything in our economy is based on women being visual. I don't understand why that wouldn't carry over into dating.

[Pyro]

What has worked for me has been my ability to make her laugh, show her that I am kind and considerate of others, keep an open mind, and be confident in who I am.

 

If I missed anything I'll let her fill in the rest.

[WTRanger]

So are looks really the only thing that matters? Are women that shallow?

 

Just as shallow as men. You cannot possible tell me you'd choose some homely girl over someone like Megan Fox. Pull your head out of your own ass and look at your faults before you start generalizing the sexes again.

 

Plain and simple, humans are visual creatures. Yes, looks play a big role in choosing a mate. Just exactly what looks are dependent on the person. We all have things we look for, and rarely are two people the same. Everything else, like your sense of humor and personality are just supporting factors. Sometimes those supporting factors can overrule the major ones, and sometimes they don't. It's just how things work.

[xpaperxcutx]

Attraction to the opposite sex is like a little child's curiosity over something they don't understand or find intrigued by. Like toys, they're so immaculate in pre-opened boxes, most kids like to rip it open just to see the interior. Once that novelty has worn out ( playing with it 4-5 times a day, dropping it on the floor, etc), something else always catches their attention.

 

When a woman lusts after a man or is sexually attracted to one, the feeling is similar to Christmas morning. But the novelty always wears off.

 

I consider myself a child in that respect.

[Star Gazer]

Justin Timberlake isn't just a good singer...

 

He's also a good dancer, but objectively, he's really just average in terms of attractiveness.

[Dblock10]

Let me put this out:

 

When was the last time any of you men have passed by purse or shoes and said, "Oooooh! How pretty!!"

 

Everything in our economy is based on women being visual. I don't understand why that wouldn't carry over into dating.

 

it dosnt, its what those pair of shoes can offer, how sexy they will feel once wearing them...

 

girls are attracted to guys in rock bands or what have you because of what it could bring to their plate, not how loud the guy can scream down the mike or not wash his hair for a week...

 

catch my drift

[SteveC80]

it dosnt, its what those pair of shoes can offer, how sexy they will feel once wearing them...

 

girls are attracted to guys in rock bands or what have you because of what it could bring to their plate, not how loud the guy can scream down the mike or not wash his hair for a week...

 

catch my drift

 

Well yeah if your rich and famous then yes looks can be overlooked but if were talking average people looks will always be #1

[Pyro]

Plain and simple, humans are visual creatures. Yes, looks play a big role in choosing a mate. Just exactly what looks are dependent on the person. We all have things we look for, and rarely are two people the same. Everything else, like your sense of humor and personality are just supporting factors. Sometimes those supporting factors can overrule the major ones, and sometimes they don't. It's just how things work.

 

Right on.

[xpaperxcutx]

Confidence and attitude. We've all seen the hot/very cute girls with her arms around a troll.

 

"OMG how on Earth did that guy get that girl?"

 

Yes looks matter, but an average looking guy can score a hottie.

 

Or maybe his wallet is just bigger.

[Feelin Frisky]

Let me put this out:

 

When was the last time any of you men have passed by purse or shoes and said, "Oooooh! How pretty!!"....

 

 

When they were on a nice-looking woman. Otherwise I wouldn't notice them like in a store or on a billboard or something.

 

Just as an aside, I was walking for exercise one afternoon and a women came out of her house dressed in a really flattering outfit and shoes. She was late for something and although she had gotten her Mercedes convertible out of the garage, the garage door had gone out of track and she was frantic to get it closed so no one could invade her house. She actually asked me into the house to help her with it which I thought was risky on her part but flattering to me. I went in through her house and got down on my back and used my legs to push the door into track. We exchanged names and niceties but in addition to her beautiful looks I have to tell ya, she really dressed with class.

[MrNate]

Not bad! It seems like there is a consensus that looks play a pretty big role which I agree with.

 

Even when I see girls talk about guys, they still mention if he's cute or not.

 

So I guess it can be said that it would benefit men and women to do their best to look their best. Because when we get down to heart of the matter, though other factors come into play, looks do carry pretty big weight.

[somedude81]

Just as shallow as men. You cannot possible tell me you'd choose some homely girl over someone like Megan Fox. Pull your head out of your own ass and look at your faults before you start generalizing the sexes again.

 

Plain and simple, humans are visual creatures. Yes, looks play a big role in choosing a mate. Just exactly what looks are dependent on the person. We all have things we look for, and rarely are two people the same. Everything else, like your sense of humor and personality are just supporting factors. Sometimes those supporting factors can overrule the major ones, and sometimes they don't. It's just how things work.

Just because I'll choose Megan Fox over the homely girl doesn't mean I don't like the homely girl also. If Fox wasn't around I'd be perfectly happy with Ms. Homely.

 

From what I'm seeing with women. They only want the best and nothing else. Sure I'm attracted to bikini models, does that mean that normal girls aren't good enough for me? Of course it doesn't. As long as a girl meets my minimum (which the vast majority of women do) it's all about her personality. Women on the other hand, seem to want super hot guys and nothing else.

[zengirl]

Alright, there has been tons and tons of debates about what works on women in terms of attracting them. And there has definitely been lots of heavy debates and assumptions, that a lot of women come to defend as being false (such has having amazing looks and lots of cash).

 

So I guess my question is: Ladies, what genuinely attracts you physically/sexually to a male?

 

(Maybe traits such as confidence, good grooming habits, embracing that rejection will happen etc.?)

 

Of course I know these answers will vary, but maybe we can come to a certain conclusion about a set of traits that are just great for any male to have in order to do well in terms of attracting women?

 

I figured this would be a good chance to at least observe what most emotionally healthy women out there respond to- so that guys who need to get on the right track , and are willing to embrace a change, will at least have a good place to start.

 

Let's discuss.

 

Personally, I think at least part of it is pure chemicals/pheromones and cannot be intellectually explained, even as aesthetic looks.

 

Most of the fellows I've been strongly attracted to right away have this in common: Made me laugh within a few minutes of meeting them, actually listened to what I had to say (or did a damn good job pretending), and spoke intelligently and passionately about something within a few hours of meeting me, whether it was some band, some place, politics, science, books, whatever. Something. Once I get to know someone, kindness and emotional health become a huge factor. A man who is inconsiderate or unkind to anyone (even if he is kind to me) loses my attraction pretty quickly. Especially people who are unkind to strangers.

 

They all look different, though a few "types" emerge, so I can't say looks-wise. I used to swear I'd never date a guy with a beard, and then I totally did! (Though I did dislike the beard, and it did defer me initially as he looked a bit reclusive because of it to me, but I got to know the guy. FWIW, I did want to jump him more when he shaved it off, so I think I can still say I dislike beards. Though I liked him enough to date him and not pester him about it.)

 

I can develop a physical attraction quicker, in terms of thinking, "Oh, that fellow is cute," but it's pretty weak. I'd never want to jump a guy or even date him based on pure aesthetic/physical attraction. That's not likely true of everyone.

 

Of course looks matter. I think anyone of either gender who says looks don't matter in initial attraction is kind of a liar, but it's also true that different people like different things. Since you can neither predict what a particular person will like in looks beyond certain basics, nor change your looks significantly without surgery. . . it just seems pointless to talk about it too much. What someone finds attractive might repulse someone else.

 

Of course being well-groomed is a given. Anyone who seems to be lacking in personal hygiene is going to be unattractive. Personally, I'm not a fan of beards or long hair, but I know girls who like it. I'm not a fan of fellows dying their hair either, but, again, that's just me. I'm not a fan of gymrat type muscles. I'm not a fan of ill-fitting clothes (I think this one is more universal). I'm not generally a fan of piercings, but that's a rule I've totally broken. Tattoos can either repel or attract me, depending on the kind of guy/tattoo. I mentioned before that a guy who has a tattoo but seems really clean-cut and has a tattoo that's nerdy/has meaning to him is really attractive to me, even though, in general, most tattoos turn me off.

 

Most women are not emotionally healthy just as most men are not.

 

Also... I think it's a dumb idea to ask women what works on them. They either don't know or won't be honest.

 

I find it so annoying that men here say this every time a fellow asks a woman's opinion. Healthy, reflective women know what they like. Unhealthy women or women who struggle to reflect might not know or be able to quantify it. The same is true of men. I agree with you that many people are not emotionally healthy, probably most. . . Fairly sad.

 

That said, I don't think anyone can tell you what all women like. Not a man. Not a woman.

[alphamale]

So I guess my question is: Ladies, what genuinely attracts you physically/sexually to a male?

most women cannot or will not give an honest answer to this question

[Enchanted Girl]

Personally, I think at least part of it is pure chemicals/pheromones and cannot be intellectually explained, even as aesthetic looks.

 

Most of the fellows I've been strongly attracted to right away have this in common: Made me laugh within a few minutes of meeting them, actually listened to what I had to say (or did a damn good job pretending), and spoke intelligently and passionately about something within a few hours of meeting me, whether it was some band, some place, politics, science, books, whatever. Something. Once I get to know someone, kindness and emotional health become a huge factor. A man who is inconsiderate or unkind to anyone (even if he is kind to me) loses my attraction pretty quickly. Especially people who are unkind to strangers.

 

They all look different, though a few "types" emerge, so I can't say looks-wise. I used to swear I'd never date a guy with a beard, and then I totally did! (Though I did dislike the beard, and it did defer me initially as he looked a bit reclusive because of it to me, but I got to know the guy. FWIW, I did want to jump him more when he shaved it off, so I think I can still say I dislike beards. Though I liked him enough to date him and not pester him about it.)

 

I can develop a physical attraction quicker, in terms of thinking, "Oh, that fellow is cute," but it's pretty weak. I'd never want to jump a guy or even date him based on pure aesthetic/physical attraction. That's not likely true of everyone.

 

Of course looks matter. I think anyone of either gender who says looks don't matter in initial attraction is kind of a liar, but it's also true that different people like different things. Since you can neither predict what a particular person will like in looks beyond certain basics, nor change your looks significantly without surgery. . . it just seems pointless to talk about it too much. What someone finds attractive might repulse someone else.

 

Of course being well-groomed is a given. Anyone who seems to be lacking in personal hygiene is going to be unattractive. Personally, I'm not a fan of beards or long hair, but I know girls who like it. I'm not a fan of fellows dying their hair either, but, again, that's just me. I'm not a fan of gymrat type muscles. I'm not a fan of ill-fitting clothes (I think this one is more universal). I'm not generally a fan of piercings, but that's a rule I've totally broken. Tattoos can either repel or attract me, depending on the kind of guy/tattoo. I mentioned before that a guy who has a tattoo but seems really clean-cut and has a tattoo that's nerdy/has meaning to him is really attractive to me, even though, in general, most tattoos turn me off.

 

 

 

I find it so annoying that men here say this every time a fellow asks a woman's opinion. Healthy, reflective women know what they like. Unhealthy women or women who struggle to reflect might not know or be able to quantify it. The same is true of men. I agree with you that many people are not emotionally healthy, probably most. . . Fairly sad.

 

That said, I don't think anyone can tell you what all women like. Not a man. Not a woman.

 

I agree with you completely and men that I have been attracted to initially had the same qualities you just described.

 

And I also agree that people saying that you have to be physically attractive are oversimplifying it as well. Good hygiene is good to have like you said, but people are attracted to different physical types.

 

For instance, you hate beards and I LOVE them (although I prefer it when a man takes care of his beard rather than just lets it go completely wild.) I am attracted to body hair on men and also men with dark hair who wear glasses. I've just noticed that a lot of the guys that I've been attracted to have had all those things, but it's different than the kind of thing you're attracted to, so yeah.

[PJKino]

Looks are important,if someone isnt physically attracted to you on any level then theres no chance

 

Which is why i stay out of the dating scene