Be an ASS get the girl..

[Dblock10]

why. And what does this even mean?

If you like a girl it's obvious that you will do anything and everything to at least get the chance to date them, and see if you to click and perhaps find a partner.

 

What if you have had the first date already (went well) and they tell you it was really nice etc... but then txt's dry up, so then you txt a couple day's later and they reply this time but decline your offer for second meeting on that particular day because of family reasons, but then suggest perhaps the next day.. so you agree and suggest a place but then get no response..

 

Do you go with your gut instinct and leave it (since deep down you know they are not interested basically actions outweigh words) or do you call them?

 

Am I ignoring signs which are pointing at not interested? because to me if the person suggests the next day it means they are interested, as to just saying oh i'm busy all week

 

why when ever something doesn't work out for me, mates will be quick at turning around and saying, "I dont know what it is, but when you treat girl's like an ass, they come running" backwards logic but thats women

Edited August 6, 2010 by Dblock10

[Enchanted Girl]

Don't be an ass, just don't act desperate.

 

I've been asked out by men who were asses to me and insulted me right before asking me out. I don't know if they were trying to employ this method or what, but I gave them a piece of my mind. I felt extremely disgusted and the last thing I could feel was attraction.

 

And when men act uninterested, I usually don't want to waste my time and wind up moving on (but I'm weird in this last way), so . . .

 

I think girls, just like guys, like to date someone who is a challenge, that's why I say the not acting desperate thing, so a girl can chase you a little, just like you want to chase her, but I wouldn't say that you should be an ass to her. Just don't act like a pathetic puppy who has all the free time in the world.

[Dblock10]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t191003/

 

I went through the same inner turmoil.

 

If she cancels without offering another date and time to make it up, she's just letting you down gently.

 

Next time they decline just don't say anything, because if a girl is truly interesting she'll let you know if she wants to go out.

 

Now I treat girls like an ass. Some people on this forum will say crap like oh you're just attracting the wrong type of girl blah blah blah. I've seen it and used it work on all types. Hot girl that goes clubbing, good school girl, etc...

 

It used to be I would tell myself this is not me, I don't feel happy being something or someone I'm not. Then I got tired of sitting there wondering why I couldn't get women being my nice former self. I knew what I had to do so I did it.

 

The only thing that matters are results.

Don't listen to crap people tell you about not being compatible, just be patient and the right one will eventually come, if it's meant to be it'll happen.

 

SCREW that, man makes his own fate.

Best wishes dude.

 

P.S.

Although I don't condone being an ass the whole relationship, I do think it works wonders on initial attraction.

 

thanks for the reply jaded, however you said it didn't make you happy being this new ass of a guy. However if you weren't happy before and not getting girls, but now your an ass and are getting girls... whats not to be unhappy about? or do you mean in yourself since its against your nature if you will

 

ok thanks for confirming that. i thought she was but I didn't want to believe it. never mind!

 

So how do you go about being this ass etc what are the main points to follow. oh and for sure, initial attraction is what i am aiming for, then I can become nice as time goes on.

 

EC i see what you are saying, to bad I am out of work so free time is in abundance

Edited August 6, 2010 by Dblock10

[Dblock10]

I'll give you an example. I was with a girl on our first date when she started talking about her ex.

 

I said, "Stop that s*** right now, I don't want to hear it."

She was quick to set up the 2nd date.

 

I once took a girl to the park, a 2 mile trail through the forest. I said if you don't keep up then good luck finding your way back. I took off like a rocket, she was slender but not in great physical shape. At the end she said I was a jerk for leaving her behind, but you could tell she had so much fun and really enjoyed it.

 

One time I told a girl to pass me a beer. She held it onto her hand while waiting for me to say thank you. I said you're welcome and snatched it out of her hand. The grin on her face was from ear to ear.

"You're supposed to say thank you."

"Yea? well it's an honor to serve me, now go make me a samich."

I was only joking but was surprised when she asked what kind!

 

All of these scenarios elicited a good response. I became more attractive to them. Why you ask? Because they like that feeling when someone treats them like s***.

 

There's a fine line between being the jerk/ass that women desire so badly, as opposed to a big giant douche which nobody likes.

 

If you have any friend girls try to use it on them. Act like a jerk then ask yourself, did that yield a positive result or a negative?

 

yeah can see where you are coming from, i think its about only being nice if they have done something to warrant that. not like us buying them lunch when they havnt done anything to deserve that you know?

 

yeah i will try it out on some girl mates and see what reaction i get, prob a confused one as they will know im not normally like that

[Thierro]

‘Nice guys finish last. BE a jerk and you will get every girl you want’

 

Sure it can work that way. But know that you are only putting up a mask to hide behind. You are portraying a certain behavior that isn’t you.

 

Why do nice guys finish last? They sound too needy, they need the girl too badly, they mostly have a low self-esteem and self-worth. I don’t want to generalize.

 

Why do ‘jerks’ get “all” the girls? Because they don’t care. They are not bothered by what other people think of them. They are strong minded and (on the outside) look confident about what they do and who they are. A healthy state of self-love and worth. Most ‘nice guys’ seem to lack this and also the reason why girls tend to find the ‘jerks’ more attractive. They love themselves freely. They seem more collected. This can come with a price though in a lot of situations.

 

The only way to REALLY get to know someone good is being your TRUE self. Not being held down by the things your mind is telling you. You are what you believe you are. Every negative thought isn’t who you truly are. Being true to yourself is loving yourself unconditionally. You are at peace with whom you are. Other’s can’t define you.

 

Trying to be an ass is just seeking validation. It is nothing more than a weakness. I am not bothered by what girls think of me, because I like who I am. I don't need approval. Overall I am a sweet guy and mean no harm. I will never use a gameplan on girls to get their attention. If I am not enough for the other persons reality; so be it. I am not rejected, I only find out that someone has a bad taste.

Edited August 6, 2010 by Thierro

[zengirl]

‘Nice guys finish last. BE a jerk and you will get every girl you want’

 

Sure it can work that way. But know that you are only putting up a mask to hide behind. You are portraying a certain behavior that isn’t you.

 

Why do nice guys finish last? They sound too needy, they need the girl too badly, they mostly have a low self-esteem and self-worth. I don’t want to generalize.

 

Why do ‘jerks’ get “all” the girls? Because they don’t care. They are not bothered by what other people think of them. They are strong minded and (on the outside) look confident about what they do and who they are. A healthy state of self-love and worth. Most ‘nice guys’ seem to lack this and also the reason why girls tend to find the ‘jerks’ more attractive. They love themselves freely. They seem more collected. This can come with a price though in a lot of situations.

 

The only way to REALLY get to know someone good is being your TRUE self. Not being held down by the things your mind is telling you. You are what you believe you are. Every negative thought isn’t who you truly are. Being true to yourself is loving yourself unconditionally. You are at peace with whom you are. Other’s can’t define you.

 

Trying to be an ass is just seeking validation. It is nothing more than a weakness. I am not bothered by what girls think of me, because I like who I am. I don't need approval. Overall I am a sweet guy and mean no harm. I will never use a gameplan on girls to get their attention. If I am not enough for the other persons reality; so be it. I am not rejected, I only find out that someone has a bad taste.

 

Word to this. Love yourself. Be kind to the world. Wait for life to get pretty damn easy.

[donnamaybe]

Be an a55, get a girl NOT worth having.

[somedude81]

Be an a55, get a girl NOT worth having.

Hmm, what's more appealing? Having sex with a girl NOT worth having or another night with Palmella?

 

I can feel myself becoming more mean with women. Before I was too nice and all it did was get me used. I was such a doormat it was pathetic. I'm still trying to find the right level of cockiness that gets women into me. Unfortunately I think I'm still too nice and polite and it turns women off.

[AverageJoe]

Whatever your instinct tells you, do the exact opposite.

[ConflictedGuy27]

I'll give you an example. I was with a girl on our first date when she started talking about her ex.

 

I said, "Stop that s*** right now, I don't want to hear it."

She was quick to set up the 2nd date.

 

I once took a girl to the park, a 2 mile trail through the forest. I said if you don't keep up then good luck finding your way back. I took off like a rocket, she was slender but not in great physical shape. At the end she said I was a jerk for leaving her behind, but you could tell she had so much fun and really enjoyed it.

 

One time I told a girl to pass me a beer. She held it onto her hand while waiting for me to say thank you. I said you're welcome and snatched it out of her hand. The grin on her face was from ear to ear.

"You're supposed to say thank you."

"Yea? well it's an honor to serve me, now go make me a samich."

I was only joking but was surprised when she asked what kind!

 

All of these scenarios elicited a good response. I became more attractive to them. Why you ask? Because they like that feeling when someone treats them like s***.

 

There's a fine line between being the jerk/ass that women desire so badly, as opposed to a big giant douche which nobody likes.

 

If you have any friend girls try to use it on them. Act like a jerk then ask yourself, did that yield a positive result or a negative?

 

Excellent work in your examples.

OP, this is commonly referred to as cocky/funny. learn how, when, and when not to do this and you'll begin to notice a steady build up of women attracted to you.

 

the beer line was, perfect.

women literally eat this up when I do it...

 

cocky/funny ftw.

[donnamaybe]

I'm still trying to find the right level of cockiness that gets women into me.

As the Dixie Chicks would say, There's Yer Trouble. Why should you have to "try to find the right" anything for a woman? That won't work for the long haul anyway. Our natural tendancies eventually win over. You seem like a pretty cool guy from what I see on LS. People need to stop LOOKING for a partner and trying to conform to some version of the person they think someone else will find appealing and just LET IT HAPPEN.

[Thierro]

If you are interested in cocky/funny; Look for David Deangelo's cocky comedy.

 

But as I stated earlier; don't use it as a mask.

[SassyKitten]

Be an a55, get a girl NOT worth having.

 

Touche!!!!

[ConflictedGuy27]

oh yah, and when you mix cocky but funny banter with touching - you can literally watch attraction build in their body language and eyes.

 

no man that employs these techniques would be considered a nice guy.

 

it's funny, twice last month two different girls commented about it to me. one called me "the most sarcastic guy she's ever met" and the other playfully said "you're such a jerk to me".

 

lol. that's when you know you've struck a coord.

the one that called me sarcastic, I told her, "well then I guess I'll make it up to you by letting you be seen with me @ dinner tonight; I'll even think about paying." obviously I wanted to go out with her and hell, I always pay, but this was the way that got me in.

 

of course she agreed and we had dinner that night. know what she talked about? she spent over 15 mins telling me how much her current bf sucks.

 

OP, I'll share with you something a good friend/old crush/most elusive woman I've ever met told me. this changed my entire outlook on women:

 

she told me: "it's the power to arouse curiousity." that is how you attract women. period. this is what a nice guy CAN'T DO to save his life, but bad asses do by default.

 

you don't have to be an ass, pe se, but arousing a woman's curiousity and attracting her interest by doing things they're not expecting is paramount.

[SteveC80]

Women have to be with a Man they think is better then them so to speak, has higher status etc its how theyre wired..

 

A nice guy who comes off desperate shows lower status and that the female is the better more superior one which turns a women off subconsciously..

[jadedone]

If you are interested in cocky/funny; Look for David Deangelo's cocky comedy.

 

But as I stated earlier; don't use it as a mask.

 

Oh sure help the guy out, lol.

 

Seriously though, A$$ is probably not the right word to describe the way you need to behave. Be playful, good natured teasing, bust their balls a little.

 

What proved it for me was analyzing the dates I went on that involved a girl I wasn't attracted to. I was relaxed, the conversation flowed naturally, I teased them, and gave off the vibe that I wasn't desperate, because in their case I wasn't interested. But those girls wouldn't leave me alone, many of them practically came running into my house with their panties around their ankles.

 

I learned to channel that part of me and be that way with the girls I actually was attracted to.

 

If I only knew 10 years ago what I know now.

[somedude81]

As the Dixie Chicks would say, There's Yer Trouble. Why should you have to "try to find the right" anything for a woman? That won't work for the long haul anyway. Our natural tendancies eventually win over. You seem like a pretty cool guy from what I see on LS. People need to stop LOOKING for a partner and trying to conform to some version of the person they think someone else will find appealing and just LET IT HAPPEN.

Ah thanks. Wanna bang?

 

No?

 

I didn't think so. And that's my problem. Having women think I'm pretty cool or nice or whatever doesn't make them want me. I'd basically be a 28 year old virgin if I didn't look for "creative" ways to have sex.

 

My personality and how I deal with women is changing. It's part bitterness being mixed in with boldness while trying to avoid my past mistakes.

 

After a long string of rejections it's obvious that there is only one constant that needs to be changed.

[donnamaybe]

Ah thanks. Wanna bang?

 

No?

 

I didn't think so. And that's my problem.

Well, if this is your approach, that's ANOTHER problem. There are several reasons I wouldn't want to spend some time teaching you a thing or two in bed.

 

First, you're younger than my oldest son, and that puts a HUGE ewwww factor in there for me.

 

Second, since you're younger than my oldest son, if you DID hit on me when I was out (younger guys have tried), I would know you were ONLY wanting to get laid. Now, I'm not against that, mind you, but again - ewwwww (the age).

 

Third, I have a wonderful man.

[TheLoneSock]

why. And what does this even mean?

If you like a girl it's obvious that you will do anything and everything to at least get the chance to date them, and see if you to click and perhaps find a partner.

 

What if you have had the first date already (went well) and they tell you it was really nice etc... but then txt's dry up, so then you txt a couple day's later and they reply this time but decline your offer for second meeting on that particular day because of family reasons, but then suggest perhaps the next day.. so you agree and suggest a place but then get no response..

 

Do you go with your gut instinct and leave it (since deep down you know they are not interested basically actions outweigh words) or do you call them?

 

Am I ignoring signs which are pointing at not interested? because to me if the person suggests the next day it means they are interested, as to just saying oh i'm busy all week

 

why when ever something doesn't work out for me, mates will be quick at turning around and saying, "I dont know what it is, but when you treat girl's like an ass, they come running" backwards logic but thats women

 

Being an ass will only attract a certain kind of girl. The young, confused, low self-esteem girls in their early twenties. If sex is your goal, then sure go for it.

 

Being somewhere in between an ass and a nice guy is what relationship material women want.

[that girl]

Ooh goody! Another post about how women aren't really people, they're hardwired to enjoy being treated badly.

 

It isn't true, but saying "Girls don't like me because I'm too nice" is a lot easier on the ego than "Girls don't like me because I am unattractive with poor social skills."

 

There is a subset of girls who do respond to being treated poorly. They're not the majority, but they do exist. They're the girl version of guys who always date the crazy girls. Some people have self-esteem issues that make them want to be treated badly. But they're not the cream of the crop and they tend to be total drama queens/kings in relationships. But if you want to have casual sex with someone with low self-esteem, being a jerk will occasionally work.

 

For people with decent self-esteem and no mental health problems, the only time it will work is when they are insanely physically attracted to you. Hotness will make people overlook a alot.

 

A big part of the problem is that too many guys think that women should date them because they are nice. Never mind the fact that they wouldn't date a woman because she is nice, women are supposed to reward them for their niceness with sex and when they don't, guys like this get bitter.

 

Be playful, good natured teasing, bust their balls a little.

This isn't bad advice. It won't work on someone shy and it won't make someone who is disinterested want you, but it is a reasonable way to act on a date.

 

I'll give you an example. I was with a girl on our first date when she started talking about her ex.

 

I said, "Stop that s*** right now, I don't want to hear it."

She was quick to set up the 2nd date.

This is just obnoxious. The fact that it worked says something about her and something about the women you choose to date, but it wouldn't work on most women. It isn't playful (and there is a playful way to change the conversation) it is just rude.

 

I once took a girl to the park, a 2 mile trail through the forest. I said if you don't keep up then good luck finding your way back. I took off like a rocket, she was slender but not in great physical shape. At the end she said I was a jerk for leaving her behind, but you could tell she had so much fun and really enjoyed it.

Again, you're just a jerk.

 

One time I told a girl to pass me a beer. She held it onto her hand while waiting for me to say thank you. I said you're welcome and snatched it out of her hand. The grin on her face was from ear to ear.

"You're supposed to say thank you."

"Yea? well it's an honor to serve me, now go make me a samich."

I was only joking but was surprised when she asked what kind!

I would completely write a guy off after something like this. He obviously wasn't raised right.

 

All of these scenarios elicited a good response. I became more attractive to them. Why you ask? Because they like that feeling when someone treats them like s***.

I really think you made up or overplayed these events, but they say something about who you choose to date. This isn't normal.

 

I've known a few guys who were legit ladies men. Whether or not they got around lots of women were interested in them. Part of it was that they were above average looking. But the bigger thing is that they made women feel good. I don't mean constant compliments, I mean they were light and friendly while making it clear that they valued the woman and enjoyed spending time with them. They didn't mislead about their intentions and they didn't get annoyed if a woman wasn't interested. Russel Brand is a good example of that kind of guy, though the funny clothes and Little Lord Fauntleroy act is unnecessary.

 

For the OP, she suggested a date to go out again. That suggests interest. You have been on one date and have no way of knowing what is going on with her. I don't see any reason to not go on a second date.

[Stung]

I'll give you an example. I was with a girl on our first date when she started talking about her ex.

 

I said, "Stop that s*** right now, I don't want to hear it."

She was quick to set up the 2nd date.

 

I once took a girl to the park, a 2 mile trail through the forest. I said if you don't keep up then good luck finding your way back. I took off like a rocket, she was slender but not in great physical shape. At the end she said I was a jerk for leaving her behind, but you could tell she had so much fun and really enjoyed it.

 

One time I told a girl to pass me a beer. She held it onto her hand while waiting for me to say thank you. I said you're welcome and snatched it out of her hand. The grin on her face was from ear to ear.

"You're supposed to say thank you."

"Yea? well it's an honor to serve me, now go make me a samich."

I was only joking but was surprised when she asked what kind!

 

All of these scenarios elicited a good response. I became more attractive to them. Why you ask? Because they like that feeling when someone treats them like s***.

 

There's a fine line between being the jerk/ass that women desire so badly, as opposed to a big giant douche which nobody likes.

 

If you have any friend girls try to use it on them. Act like a jerk then ask yourself, did that yield a positive result or a negative?

 

 

1. Isn't really being an ass or a jerk, other than the language choice, it's setting boundaries. Most people respect someone that has firm, reasonable boundaries, like not listening to blather about exes while on a date.

 

2. Most emotionally healthy women I know, including myself, would drop you for the asinine macho bull if you actually left her behind. This has already crossed the line into giant douche.

 

3. She knew you were joking. If this is a joke and executed with reasonable humor and timing, it's not really being a jerk or an ass, although it IS an old, weak joke. If it's said and done in seriousness, it is being a jerk/ass/giant douche, and emotionally healthy women will run the other way.

 

Once again we have posters who don't know the difference between having edgy humor or setting boundaries and actually being a jackhole, and others who equate manipulating emotionally sick girls with low self-esteem as being 'successful' with 'women'. The misguided leading the blind.

[BS76]

why. And what does this even mean?

If you like a girl it's obvious that you will do anything and everything to at least get the chance to date them, and see if you to click and perhaps find a partner.

 

What if you have had the first date already (went well) and they tell you it was really nice etc... but then txt's dry up, so then you txt a couple day's later and they reply this time but decline your offer for second meeting on that particular day because of family reasons, but then suggest perhaps the next day.. so you agree and suggest a place but then get no response..

 

Do you go with your gut instinct and leave it (since deep down you know they are not interested basically actions outweigh words) or do you call them?

 

Am I ignoring signs which are pointing at not interested? because to me if the person suggests the next day it means they are interested, as to just saying oh i'm busy all week

 

why when ever something doesn't work out for me, mates will be quick at turning around and saying, "I dont know what it is, but when you treat girl's like an ass, they come running" backwards logic but thats women

 

Read THIS and some of his associated articles.

 

Good for you Donnamaybe!

 

I remember back then when I used to have literally masses of girls tell me..

 

Wow you're the nicest guy I've ever met.

You're such a sweetheart.

Some girl is going to be very lucky to have a guy like you.

You're going to be a really good husband someday.

 

I took these compliments to heart, then I had to ask myself (after many years of being alone)

 

So if I'm so great as all these b!tches say I am.. Why aren't they dating me?

 

Yea that's when I put it together. I had an epiphany.. I finally woke the F*** up. I looked upon to see what kind of guys these girls were dating and emulated accordingly.

 

Now when I hang around girls they never tell me none of that crap. They eye me with carnal intent. Also of course every guy that approaches you wants to bang you. I mean... even your husband did. Go ask him.

 

If you were into a guy, you'd want him to make a move on you and show his sexual interest. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact if you don't then you'll be finding yourself in the friendzone.

 

OP here's another great piece of advice. Don't ever listen to women's advice on dating, they have good intentions but bad results.

 

One more thing, zengirl and enchanted girl are the worst girl trolls on this forum. Don't ever listen to a word they spew from their mouths, it's like poison.

 

EXCELLENT POST!!!! Guys need to read this more often.

 

Women tell men what they want in a man, all that nice guy stuff, but only in men who they'ree already attracted to. If you're not in their sexual field of view then doing those things will just turn them off and make you a wussy chump. Actually, in many cases doing that stuff can cause women to actually lose attraction if they were hot for you at some point. What women want and what they respond to are often two different things, and in many cases direct opposites.

 

The only people men should take dating advice from are men who are *sexually* successful with women. Period.

Edited August 6, 2010 by BS76

[MrNate]

Sounds like a storm is brewing in here.

[espec10001]

They should change this forum name to WarShack LOL

[that girl]

the one that called me sarcastic, I told her, "well then I guess I'll make it up to you by letting you be seen with me @ dinner tonight; I'll even think about paying." obviously I wanted to go out with her and hell, I always pay, but this was the way that got me in.

 

of course she agreed and we had dinner that night. know what she talked about? she spent over 15 mins telling me how much her current bf sucks.

 

This made me laugh. Either you're the kind of guy who knowingly asks taken women out, in which case you got what you deserved. Or your game failed in that she didn't even see it as a date.

 

If you were into a guy, you'd want him to make a move on you and show his sexual interest. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact if you don't then you'll be finding yourself in the friendzone.

Of course you should make your sexual intent clear! The problem with all these women telling you that you were nice wasn't that you were nice. The problem is you were not making your intentions clear or you were continuing to date someone who wasn't responding. Niceness wasn't the problem.