Importance of Intelligence in a Mate

[Untouchable_Fire]

I've been thinking about where intellect ranks among attractive features and whether there is a gender difference in it's importance.

 

For example, I don't see many of my guy friends talking about how they want a really smart woman. I note some guys actively avoid dumb ones though. Yet I see them date smart, educated women frequently.

 

In the thread started by Mr.Nate I got the impression that women feel men don't value smarts much. Personally... I don't like valley girl types, they drive me up the wall, but honestly intellect isn't that high on my list.

 

So I ask this question: Guys, how important is it to be with an intelligent woman?

[Green]

I don't necesarily actively say I want an intelligent woman. yet I have only dated smart girls for the most part.

[zengirl]

Your title sucks! It doesn't imply at all that you're only asking the fellows till you click through. I was bummed. I had all sorts of things to say, though I will say this that I hope you fellows will consider as you discuss: There are many kinds of intelligence. Saying "intelligent" is pretty silly, just as saying "beautiful" is. . . . even sillier, actually. There are a zillion kind of smarts (even many kinds of academic smarts) in the world.

[MrNate]

Thanks, Untouchable, for keeping Zen's answer short lol (I kid, I kid).

 

But intelligence is very important to me. It doesn't have to be all about booksmarts either. Honestly, a load of book smarts is most likely to turn me off. Women who get caught up in statistics, studies, scientific facts/data don't really interest me, because that kind of rubs me off as not being interested in the abstracts and possibilities of the world.

 

A woman who is highly intelligent, in the things I didn't list above (non quantifiable things) are the ones I'm more likely to click with. However, in any case, I don't need a vast amount of it, or if she does I have no problem respecting it as long as it isn't rubbed in my face.

 

I think we will find (hopefully) that a basic amount of intelligence is required by most of us guys.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Your title sucks! It doesn't imply at all that you're only asking the fellows till you click through. I was bummed. I had all sorts of things to say, though I will say this that I hope you fellows will consider as you discuss: There are many kinds of intelligence. Saying "intelligent" is pretty silly, just as saying "beautiful" is. . . . even sillier, actually. There are a zillion kind of smarts (even many kinds of academic smarts) in the world.

 

Oh... I made the title gender neutral on purpose. I was trying to avoid using archaic gender stereotypes.

 

Yes, there are many different "types" of intellect... but it all comes from the same source.

[Sanman]

Some type of intelligence is very important to me. I don't care about specific areas, but she has to have something. If it is in an area I lack and she can teach me something, even better. I very much love artistic types as it is something I never really had a talent for, but love to embrace vicariously.

[meerkat stew]

I like teh smartz wimmens.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I think we will find (hopefully) that a basic amount of intelligence is required by most of us guys.

 

Understood... but what about women that seem naive or innocent?

 

I put that down as on my list as traits that show a lack of intellect.

[zengirl]

Oh... I made the title gender neutral on purpose. I was trying to avoid using archaic gender stereotypes.

 

Yes, there are many different "types" of intellect... but it all comes from the same source.

 

I'll ignore poking at the logic of the first, because I'm assuming it's a joke. The second part. . . I guess it all comes from your brain, but that's basically everything except a few parts of your looks (and even some of them come from chemical processes that happen in the brain). Most forms of intelligence likely come from very different places in the brain (we're still studying this), so I'm going to disagree with you here.

[Pyro]

I have always mentioned on here the importance of intelligence for me. For me it is a dealbreaker.

 

To me intelligence means to have the capability to compromise with me, to see things from different point of views other then her own, not being insecure, and being able to discuss something other then what happened on Jersey Shore or what disease Paris Hilton has caught this week.

[SassyKitten]

Thank you for starting this thread, even if the title did seem gender-neutral at first! Maybe then the fact that my IQ tested as a 160 seem so intimidating.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I'll ignore poking at the logic of the first, because I'm assuming it's a joke. The second part. . . I guess it all comes from your brain, but that's basically everything except a few parts of your looks (and even some of them come from chemical processes that happen in the brain). Most forms of intelligence likely come from very different places in the brain (we're still studying this), so I'm going to disagree with you here.

 

I would agree with you in a physiological sense. I suppose you could say that if one is intelligent that it means a certain part of their brain is working properly.

 

I was thinking more in terms of attitude. I'd like to find a woman that enjoys and respects learning new things.

 

Also... after talking with a friend of mine last night... I've decided that naive = stupid and is very very unattractive.

[AverageJoe]

Generally speaking the hotter the women I have met, the dumber they seem to get.

 

Ever seen a really hot ceo of a fortune five hundred company? How many ladies in congres do you say wow, she's hot.

 

Probably because the hot gals were in high school and college going out on friday and saturday night living it up and having a great time. While the fuglies were stuck sitting at home on the weekends working hard at her studies in transitive algebra and cultrual sciences.

[Ilovecake]

I've been thinking about where intellect ranks among attractive features and whether there is a gender difference in it's importance.

 

For example, I don't see many of my guy friends talking about how they want a really smart woman. I note some guys actively avoid dumb ones though. Yet I see them date smart, educated women frequently.

 

In the thread started by Mr.Nate I got the impression that women feel men don't value smarts much. Personally... I don't like valley girl types, they drive me up the wall, but honestly intellect isn't that high on my list.

 

So I ask this question: Guys, how important is it to be with an intelligent woman?

 

Is it possible that the guys you know are dumb and that's why it's not important to them? Most of my friend, both male and female (me included) would probably say intellect is number one requirement.

[threebyfate]

It's all relative. Ever notice how people seek what they value as positives within themselves?

 

Intellectuals tend to seek intellectuals, professionals tend to seek professionals, average tend to seek average, below average tend to seek below average and the insecure tend to seek subordinates.

 

Of course these are generalizations and there will be exceptions to the above.

[TaraMaiden]

Are we talking about Intellect - or intelligence?

 

Intellect is the minds capacity of knowledge and reason. Intelligence is the practical manifestation of knowledge to think in complex and pioneering ways. At its simplest, intellect is knowing a lot of things, where intelligence is more about putting knowledge to use in an innovative, analytical, and practical ways.

 

Some people certainly have high intellect but low intelligence or perhaps vice versa. People who are highly successful on game shows such as "Who wants to be a Millionaire?" demonstrate high intellect, because of the breadth of their knowledge. However, their intelligence may not be obvious even though they have a broad knowledge. I am not sure if Donald Trump is very knowledgeable about business (he relies on experts a lot), but he has very high intelligence in decision making and problem solving business opportunities to achieve his broad goals.

 

Someone who quotes extensive historical examples to prove a point might have high intellect due to their knowledge, however if ultimately their conclusion is misguided, they have low intelligence. Meanwhile, someone who can imagine and create a great work of art without being shown historical references possesses creative intelligence (the great renaissance artists for example). I recently heard of an ordinary man on "Newsnight" who without an M.D. degree, invented what is being called the most substantial advancement in cancer research in decades. This man had pretty much no medical training but was able to draw upon his knowledge in other areas to produce a unique and substantial advancement in cancer research in ways doctors haven't been able to do. That is an excellent example of low knowledge but high intelligence.

[anne1707]

Tara (as usual) is making a very good point here. So often people equate intelligence with formal academic qualifications but that can be such a blinkered way of looking at things. Being able to apply what you know is what really counts rather than being able to list off a load of facts.

[Feelin Frisky]

Intelligence can be a plus or minus. I think I'd rather have someone who accepts that I'm highly intelectually developed and just supports and admires me than someone who feels belittled or competitive because I win Trivial Pursuit all the time and finish crossword puzzles. I pretty much have no special respect for women whom have achieved academically because so much of that can be attributable to accepting the existing educational box which I believe is terminally in need of fundamental reform. What I'm more impressed with is resilience, open-mindedness, ability to exchange humor, trust--all things which are not taught on a chalkboard and not learned on the seat of one's garb in rows of yeilding conformists.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Is it possible that the guys you know are dumb and that's why it's not important to them? Most of my friend, both male and female (me included) would probably say intellect is number one requirement.

 

That's a giant negative. I have several different friendgroups, but the one I was referencing all have scientific degrees. I majored in Bio Research myself... so I think I can say without doubt that they are smart guys.

 

Actually... the feeling summed up in our conversation is very similar to what FeelinFrisky just said.

 

Are we talking about Intellect - or intelligence?

Intellect is the minds capacity of knowledge and reason. Intelligence is the practical manifestation of knowledge to think in complex and pioneering ways. At its simplest, intellect is knowing a lot of things, where intelligence is more about putting knowledge to use in an innovative, analytical, and practical ways.

 

Most people have a varying degree of both traits... not just one or the other.

 

My biggest issue with your idea here is that if a woman either can't or is not interested in gaining knowledge... I will consider her dumb. I don't care how street smart she is, or how much common sense. Therefore not everyone under your definition of intelligent actually is intelligent.

[zengirl]

I would agree with you in a physiological sense. I suppose you could say that if one is intelligent that it means a certain part of their brain is working properly.

 

I was thinking more in terms of attitude. I'd like to find a woman that enjoys and respects learning new things.

 

Also... after talking with a friend of mine last night... I've decided that naive = stupid and is very very unattractive.

 

Ah. I would call that quality intellectual curiosity. (It's opposite being intellectual laziness or sometimes even intellectual fear. . . the people who actually willfully don't want to learn things!) I see what you mean now.

 

Intelligence to me belies mental skill (and can be in many areas, naturally). Intellect belies knowledge, as said above. Intellectual curiosity belies willingness to learn. I agree that the latter (in people!) is the most important. Carry on.

[SassyKitten]

Are we talking about Intellect - or intelligence?

 

Intellect is the minds capacity of knowledge and reason. Intelligence is the practical manifestation of knowledge to think in complex and pioneering ways. At its simplest, intellect is knowing a lot of things, where intelligence is more about putting knowledge to use in an innovative, analytical, and practical ways.

 

That's the same principle that I would use to differentiate a book-smart nerd from a more well-rounded intelligent person. The latter of whom I am, and who I look for in a mate.

[sally4sara]

Intelligence matters greatly if you're looking for a long term partner kind of connection. Stupid people are a liability. Not to mention how expensive stupidity can be.

[Eeyore79]

I'm a reasonably smart woman, and I've noticed that some guys don't like it. Maybe it's just that couples aren't compatible if one is significantly more intellectual than the other, regardless of which partner is the smartest. Dumb people drive me crazy; I want someone who shares my interests and talks to me about them, not someone who finds me boring or geeky.

 

I do agree that men value intelligence less though; they may not want to date the village idiot, but equally they don't care if the girl isn't Einstein, as long as she's hot. Personally I find it a turn-off if a guy is significantly dumber than me.

[SassyKitten]

I'm a reasonably smart woman, and I've noticed that some guys don't like it. Maybe it's just that couples aren't compatible if one is significantly more intellectual than the other, regardless of which partner is the smartest. Dumb people drive me crazy; I want someone who shares my interests and talks to me about them, not someone who finds me boring or geeky.

 

I do agree that men value intelligence less though; they may not want to date the village idiot, but equally they don't care if the girl isn't Einstein, as long as she's hot. Personally I find it a turn-off if a guy is significantly dumber than me.

 

Exactly my view on intelligence in a man. And I do find that the smarter a man is, the less likely he is to be intimidated by me. I actually like it when he challenges me mentally, and when he's a good sport about me doing the same to him.