MissKali Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I've been seeing this guy for almost 8 weeks and we hang out, watch dvd's, play Wii etc and it's all very comfortable. Originally, we started seeing each other, then he panicked a bit and said he 'didn't want to mess me around' and tried to let it go and just wanted to be friends. Then we discussed the idea of no strings/casual fun as he wasn't sure what he could offer at that point. My gut was that he had been burned in the past, but that is only a guess from his reaction. I usually go over to his place as he lives alone whereas I live with a flatmate. He cooks dinner for me as I do for him and we are comfortable with each other - he's even made me an entire cheesecake because I liked the first one he made! He moves his car to allow me a place to park when I come over, leaves a towel for me etc as I usually stay. He makes a real effort and it's nice. He's paid me some nice compliments etc about songs that make him think of me and how attractive he finds me but he seems to get nervous around me in bed sometimes. I am not sure why he gets nervous - why would it matter if it was supposedly a no strings thing. I do my best to reassure him and compliment/acknowledge things he does etc both in and out of the bedroom. The thing is, even though we talked about no strings/casual, from my observation there seems to be more there than he is letting on. He asks my opinion on things and the connection we have seems deeper than if it was just a no strings thing. No strings usually means sex and that's it right...? Am I reading it wrong? Is there a possibility he wants more and is not ready to vocalise or is he just being decent?
mkpeter Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 hello, after reading this, i think he dont want anything more from you... So, its better do as you think. Good Luck!!!
O'Malley Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Is there a possibility he wants more and is not ready to vocalise or is he just being decent? He's in a comfort zone -- you're providing him with boyfriend benefits (affection, hanging out, sex) without any relationship obligations (monogamy, sharing his life with you). Which is fine, if you're content with the arrangement as well, but it seems you are looking for more. If you want a relationship, you will have to be upfront with him. "I would like to be in an relationship with you. Do you agree?" Actual dates, calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend, not just hanging out at each other's homes. Any response other than 'yes' is a clear indication that he does not want the same thing that you do.
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