alexlakeman Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 OK, women (not girls) and men (NOT boys) define sex differenty.. as well as people within the same sex (m/f)... So women... men (ok, boys and girls too, over 18, lol).... define SEX.. When you count how many sexual partners you've had , is just penetration, is it (blank), is it oral? you know where I'm going with this... In my case, I typically say, if it's something I would NOT want my g/f to do with someone else, it defines sex ... ie oral, fondling... but is it really sex? example...I was with one woman Friday and I penetrated her vaginal cavity... that was sex.. but Sunday I was with someone else, and she touched me, I ate her until she came.. but she did NOT make me cum.. that's sex.. DO YOU think she would count that as sex? Or not count it in her tally? I think women are pretty slutty, but usually curve their numbers downwards.. Thoughts?
SassyKitten Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Oral or anything involving penetration. And to me, oral is way more intimate than normal vaginal.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 If I were to count oral, giving and receiving, my tally would be significantly higher
Rifareal Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Sex is enjoying your private part/s with or without someone. Oral? Yes it is sex..
Raderick Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 sex is enjoying your private part/s with or without someone. Oral? Yes it is sex.. qft.......
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 For some reason, as soon as I read the OP's post, this clip came to mind... For me, it's not much of a question, because (now that I think back on it), I have never only had oral intercourse with a woman. At some point or another, I have had vaginal intercourse with her as well, so my numbers are the same either way. Rather weird, now that I think about it. Then again, I was never really the kind who fooled around. As to why some people "curve their number downwards", as the OP put it, it could be because of the whole stigma. A man who has sex with a lot of women is a god, while a woman who has sex with a lot of men is a slut. It may not be a fair stigma, but it is one that's alive and well in today's society.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Seriously? Should I count all the parnters that I have had oral sex with only as sex? What about hand jobs? I mean where do you draw the line?
Author alexlakeman Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 Seriously? Should I count all the parnters that I have had oral sex with only as sex? What about hand jobs? I mean where do you draw the line? Gray area, but I guess it depends in what context your talking about. For example I just went out with a women and their was a lot of touching back and fourth, but no oral nor penetration, so me as a guy would say I didn't have sex with her, would be foolish to say I did, BUT if I was in a relationship with someone else, then it would count as cheating. How skewed are your numbers, sex/penetration vs sex/orla, hand job, etc? Oh wait, then u run into other what ifs, lol; ie I was with some this past weekend and I gave her oral,but I didn't get squat, so did she add dat to her sexual partners, lol ( she was fully naked,etc)? Lol. Too much analizing lol
SassyKitten Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 It doesn't have to be sex to be cheating, I also count kissing and cybersex as cheating. And I count blowjobs as sex.
meerkat stew Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 The answer is contextual. I remember women in college claiming to be virgins still despite blowing half the campus and having things inserted in every orifice frequently, including their vaginas (just not a penis). Technically they -were- virgins within the most reasonable definition of the word, but not the spirit. "Sex" is most reasonably defined without further qualifiers as "sexual intercourse that has the potential to lead to human reproduction," but even that is up in the air as gametes can meet without insertion of anything other than semen. Moreover, this leaves the sexual activities of same-sex preference folks out in the cold, who would probably protest a claim that what they are doing with their partner isn't technically sex because it can't lead to reproduction. When trying to pin someone down as to the nature of what they have done that may count as cheating, steer away from general terms such as "sex" and closed-end questions, such as "did you have sex?" and towards specific definite actions and open-ended questions, "did you touch his penis with any part of your body?" or "what exactly did you two do together?" By the time you get to this stage, though, why bother? trust is gone or the past is the past, whichever applies.
carhill Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 For me it's easy. Sex is anything I'd physically do with another woman which involved the use of the primary male/female sexual organs. This would include, but not be limited to, intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio, handjobs, fingering, anal sex. Examples of acts I do not count as 'sex' would be passionate kissing, clothed 'dry humping', 'feeling someone up', again clothed, and aural sexual intimacies (dirty talk). This delineation is exclusive of what I determine to be healthy and acceptable in a monogamous intimate relationship, wrt acts with another person. In that case, unacceptable would be what my partner and I agreed it to be. Number = four, based on the above criteria. One unacceptable behavior.
USMCHokie Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 So would you all say that "having sex" includes non-intercourse activities as well...? Or is "having sex" not the same as "sex"...?
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Meh my tally is 3 if it's intercourse only and 11 if it includes oral. 3 sounds a lot better
tigressA Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Meh my tally is 3 if it's intercourse only and 11 if it includes oral. 3 sounds a lot better I've never just given someone oral/received oral from someone without also engaging in intercourse. Same with fingering, handjobs, etc.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I've never just given someone oral/received oral from someone without also engaging in intercourse. Same with fingering, handjobs, etc. Wow. My tally would grow even more if I included fingering and hand jobs I dunno, I view intercourse as more intimate because it usually includes sleeping over. So I tend to wait a while before we do it when seeing someone. However, I also want to keep the guy satisfied in some way before I am ready
meerkat stew Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Meh my tally is 3 if it's intercourse only and 11 if it includes oral. 3 sounds a lot better I never ask, and don't worry about anyone's tally or how it is calculated, but find women bring it up without fail early on for some reason. Will say that if you feel the need to ever discuss bedpost notches with a man you are dating who might care one way or the other, the number "3" whether it's the truth or not, is a bad number to use because droves of women use that number and we just assume it's a lie when we hear it. In fact, when a woman says 3, I will apply a much higher multiplier to estimate her true number. For example, if she says 7 or 8, I will only apply a multiplier of 2-3 to get 14-24 as the true number. If she says 3 though, I will apply a multiplier of 20-100 to get to a true number of 60-300 In retrospect, based on knowledge gained about her during and after dating, I'm usually more accurate than not.
zengirl Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 (edited) I've never done anything sexual (past 2nd base, or even really there in years. . . ) with someone that I wouldn't be having sex with. I don't understand the trend. If I want to sleep with someone and am ready for it. . . . I sleep with them and the etcetera, too, but I'd say everything that involved a penis or a vagina in someone's hands or holes is sex. To me. Numbers don't really matter to me, but I'm a girl. I don't know. The only thing that matters to me about the number if I hear a guy's (which I never ask, unless he asks me mine) is the ratio of sex to relationships, and the trends in that area. But that's me thinking in statistical terms! I really don't think much about it, unless someone starts a topic like this. Edited August 3, 2010 by zengirl
zengirl Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 What's the definition of second base? Under the bra, I thought. . . but I really am only counting my virginal years in the times I even went there before being ready to sleep with a guy. I don't know these things. I just date and get to know a guy until we want to be in a relationship, and then we have various kinds of sex. I don't understand all these in between zones. I just know that part-of-the-way sex sounds extremely confusing to me, emotionally.
John Bigboote Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 If sex is only penetrative intercourse, then all the lesbians in the world are pristine virgins. If only potentially procreative intercourse is included, that eliminates all gay people (and post-menopausal women!) from ever having sex. Obviously, those consequences are ludicrous. So oral and handjobs must qualify as sex in order to avoid them. The only logical definition of sex would be an activity in which one person intends to make another come. See how easy that was?
Author alexlakeman Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 Someone post verbatim what Webster's dictionary says lol. I can't search for it from my BB I'm going to get a female's opinion and report back haha.
phineas Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Penetration = sex to me. BJ's, hand-jobs, tittie-****s are recreational activities somewhere between sex & making out/groping.
carhill Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiIP_KDQmXs Get back to work. I can see my relations with married women will be far more simplified in the future. Thank you
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