Yep i'm the cant get a GF category

[Nightedge-R59]

Well i'm new here and hello to every one. I guess i should start out with my story then. Well im 24 going on 25 in September. I consider my self as a very shy loner and pretty much have no local friends but have 2 friends that live out of state and meet 3-4 times a year at a race track and yes i race to and i even got the attention of a retired nextal cup driver but fizzled out after me not having enough money so he went to a different driver with money but thats a different story. I'm also having a bit of bad luck to, i been out of work for all most 2 years now and i'm having a hell of a time finding work. My motor in my truck blow up from a broken crank shaft and my computer grafx card likes to die all the time. That and every time i try to do something it breaks and i have to spend hundreds of dollars to fix it, its like a endless cycle for me.

 

My dating history is pretty much like how many posts i got on here, lol. I never had a relationship of any kind with a girl and never kiss or anything ether, but how ever i had my very 1st date back in January of this year witch was a blind date from my mothers friend and ended after 3 dates. It started out ok we went for lunch then to a movie. The next date was like 3-4 days later and we went out for a dinner witch she text someone every 5 min through out the date, witch that i started to get mad about but said nothing and brushed it off because again its my 1st time with a girl. So the 3rd date comes along we agreed to bowling. So we meet up in a parking lot and she wanted to drive up there in her car so i said ok. So we get there and again she texting up a storm on her cell and wouldn't even sit next to me. So i got really aggravated but said nothing about it. (now i think this is best part) we get back to the parking lot we hug and here cell rings. Its her brother and he is pulling into the parking lot and is going the dunken donuts (witch is in the same lot). As i start to get out i'm like WTF so between the texting and the brother showing up at the end of the date i decided not to wast my time any more and end it. So 2 weeks later go by i try online dating (this is February now). I been on there all the way up to today but i got a whopping 2 emails back from the 200 that i sent out. i also never got past a 3rd email, lucky me. So i finely emailed some one that i got past the (3rd) email with, but the other day i really botch that up pretty good and i wasn't expecting another email back. So 2 days ago i get this massage

 

( Do you want to get together and do something sometime? We could go to the racetrack or something, whatever you'd like to do.

 

You should know up front that I recently got out of a relationship and am not really looking for anything new. The reason I am on this site is just to see who's out there. That being said, no reason why we can't do something fun, right?

 

Let me know! )

 

Yep i got THAT relationship massage. So yesterday i said ok mabe we can talk on the phone and go from there and gave her my cell (just for ha ha's). Witch i know she probably wont call any ways and i'm not going to lose any sleep over eather. So now i'm at the point why even bother with dating any more.Any help out there mabe? or do i need a profile revamped? and if so can i get help with that from some one here mabe? or am i the undateable and will never get a GF?

Edited August 2, 2010 by Nightedge-R59

[Nightedge-R59]

should i email her again even after i gave her my cell number yesterday and accept her innovation or wate and hope she calls me in a few days?

 

i may take you up on that in the morning but right now its 1:20am and im going to bed lol.

[kdark]

Jesus not the cocky and funny crap again... The girls I go out with all find that really annoying...

 

You just need to have more confidence in yourself when it comes to dating. You are going to screw stuff up bad the first couple times you go on dates, but the important thing is that you keep learning things along the way, and aren't taking the rejections from woman as a direct reflection on you as a person.

[kdark]

It's cool you have your opinion. How would you ask invite a girl out to the race track if you where the OP?

 

I guarantee you my line will elicit a faster better response than yours. Just think of the rapport.

 

"Dream on, me being your import model? You probably couldn't afford me anyways hun."

 

"Oh yea? blahblahblah...""

 

 

So you don't want to use cocky and funny. How about let's get together sometime at the racetrack.

 

"Okay."

 

Which is more fun to talk to?

 

I had a girl ask me what I made on my midterm.

 

Using your approach, "I made an A."

My approach, "Let's just say I ruined the bell curve once again ~_^"

 

Which is more attractive?

 

0wned.

 

Not everyone is cocky, and not everyone is funny in that sarcastic, smarmy way that pick up artists recommend. That's good that it works for you, but I'd prefer not changing what kind of person I am just to meet a girl. I tried C&F for a while, and it did attract women for me, but I was attracting low quality, superficial women that I didn't want to have anything to do with.

 

And besides, all C&F does is demonstrate to woman that you are confident and witty. There are TONS of ways to demonstrate that without using those cheesey, douchebaggish lines you just used.

[Nightedge-R59]

I think the above guy is right about not every on can be cocky. I know im not and i tend to laugh at people who are when they are around me at the track and shut them up from my driving all the time. I think if i did try to be cocky they will see right through me if they ever meet me in person scene i'm the complete opposite.

I think im going to say the hell with it and post my profile publicly you can make fun at it or what ever but hay thats me and i wont care.

http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?ortp=1&TP=U&uid=WglFJv6b6mifrTO0CNliMA==&lid=21

[meerkat stew]

This is not a cocky/funny issue, but basic common sense.

 

Asking a girl out to do "something sometime" doesn't sound appealing, and sends subtle cues that you aren't going to step up and take charge in other departments. It also drives you insane wondering why they don't reply or where things are going. Some simple guidelines that have nothing to do with whether you are the cocky type or not:

 

1. Always ask a woman to do a specific activity on a specific calendar date, on the phone, not text, not IM, not Email, never ever voicemail. Don't "sell" it to her other than maybe "it would be a blast to have you along." "Tuesday evening some friends are cooking out, would you like to come with me?"

 

2. Then shut up, say nothing until she speaks, no matter if it takes her 30 seconds to respond. If she comes up with lots of qualifiers or anything other than a "yes or no," forget her, she's not worth your time or sanity. If she declines, but doesn't offer a rather firm alternative, forget her, she isn't interested.

 

3. Never focus on just one woman at this stage, be talking to three or more. If you don't have at least three prospects, get some more prospects. If one says no, ask the next. All you are about at this stage is getting a date, not finding a GF, that comes later. You really don't know much about any of these women, right? Then don't expect anything or build up hopes yet.

 

4. Don't call or text women to chat early on, why spend your time until you know a) they are interested and b) they are worth your time. Just ask them out on dates. That's your sole job at this point, not to chit-chat with them like their GFs and misinformed other guys do. Save that for later, much later... if ever.

 

5. If one flakes or bails without a really good excuse, next her and replace her in your "prospect bin" with another one. Don't get angsty over women's bad behavior and wishy-washy baggage, just do your job of asking out until a) they stop accepting your invitations, or b) romance blossoms.

 

Keeping things as simple as possible will keep you sane, and ironically will attract a better quality of women. There are lots of women out there who are tired of men who won't step up and just do their job as the man in early dating. The others are just gamey attention seekers or plain not interested in you, weed them out with as little ceremony and angst as possible and keep moving forward. Once you have achieved a certain level of experience, you can deviate from the simple steps, until then, follow them to a "T".

[meerkat stew]

Just looked at the profile, lose that picture, too passive, and as JH implies, you look some hunched over. Get one of you outside, standing, doing something you do lots of, having a good time. It shouldn't be a "you off in the distance" shot, but focused on you with some detail.Then get a headshot of your face at a flattering angle that highlights what you think are your best features. Those are the only two pics you need to start.

 

However, that said, online dating is probably not the best way to learn how to date for someone who hasn't had much experience. Please reconsider match for the time being, and instead focus on making lots of new friends, of all ages and sexes in the community where you live and meeting prospective dates through them.

[Nightedge-R59]

I do appreciate all the advice i been given so far but i think im going to quit on dating as of now and do some serious thinking, but who knows i could be overly thinking about all this and i tend to be doing a lot of that lately. I wouldn't call it depression but if it is i think im doing a good job of trying to fight it. I do think tho im very much emotionally stressed out right now and think i should clear my head and try again maybe next year or something

 

meerkat stew for me to try and find some friends is for me extremely difficult and like trying to pulling teeth.

 

My step dad is all ways trying to get me to work out with him at the gym, even tho where not that close maybe its the right step i need to get my mind off things and try to get my head clear.