sweetblubrry Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I started dating this guy june 23rd and we've been boyfriend/girlfriend for about 2 weeks now. At first I saw him all the time.... he would see me 3 or 4 days a week (we work together so that is why). He would always be wanting to hang out even if he had to work the next morning. He's been such a gentleman to me. and he was texting me all the time. Now that we've established a relationship... is that normal to change? Our last date on Wednesday was amazing, it went so well. It is Sunday and I haven't seen him since Wednesday, even at work. But he has been texting me a bit each day. Just not as much as he used to. And it also really annoys me as he is the type who doesn't answer right away. Are all guys like this? This morning he texted me good morning! And i replied and after that nothing. I also sent him two more throughout the day and no answer! Even Ill ask him a question and he won't answer sometimes. He just kind of texts me randomly. Are guys like that? Usually I wait for him but its getting kind of annoying. I was hoping he would text me tonight to see me... because he is off tomorrow, but nope! BTW I am not desperate in any way... so don't give me that BS. I just want to see my new boy and spend time with him!
SassyKitten Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 In my experience, the only time it's possible to get a guy to respond to texts immediately is when they're x-rated.
Confused100 Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I can only speak for myself, but I try to answer texts as promptly as possible. I know how annoying it is to send a text/question and never get a response, so I always try to get back to people. I've noticed a lot of people aren't like this, however. Even some of my closest friends don't respond to some texts I send, even when I'm asking a question.
USMCHokie Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I just want to see my new boy and spend time with him! Then call him and tell him you want to see him. It really is that simple...
Feelin Frisky Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Forgive me hun but I'm pretty tired of all this social insecurity about texting. It seems to be a dominating topic in so many threads. Texting is a new phenomenon for which there are no long term studies, no prescribed etiquette, no provision in education or parenting to tell young folk what is appropriate or therapeutic and what is dysfunctional and perhaps inappropriate. I'm older and have lived the bulk of my life with no such thing as texting being around. Please consider how for generation upon generation there was none of this social confusion. People met. They may have phoned a lot in the 20th Century but it was always so that people had to end dialogs and develop their own independences and live the time in between seeing each other in ignorance of what each other were doing from moment to moment. Often this would add to the pleasure of a new relationship--the old adage: "absence makes the heart grow fonder". But now here comes this pocket technology that gives people a sense that a dialog must be a continuously running one and if the dialog has to stop for anything like real life responsibilities, people start getting into emotional quandaries about why this artificial link isn't as continuous as it first appeared to be. My advice to anyone who starts developing this insecurity is to try to consider that though it seems validating in the beginning to have someone keep a running dialog open with you all the time, it is a dysfunctional illusion and a vehicle for developing co-dependence--something which in effect is arresting your development. Thus, I think and I urge that people don't fall into this trap for which society has no collective memory nor social set of established conventions. One such ultimate social convention that I think will eventually become a consensus would be to keep the ability to "text" for later in a relationship when you two have established that you're a couple and use it functionally for things like asking functional questions. When the relationship is new, don't let it become a source of emotional disarray that may wind up terminating the relationship by way of defacto neurosis. We came along way by being separate beings and such technology is a bigger shock to that norm than society has yet realized.
Brady_to_Moss Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 (edited) CALL. People will ask me questions and such and i wont answer if i am really busy at work and by then i usually forget about them till i get home. You cant be worried if he doesn't txt back. Its a stupid technology that is killing our society. People never talk to each other now..always through phones...sad Edited August 2, 2010 by Brady_to_Moss
Sabali Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Forgive me hun but I'm pretty tired of all this social insecurity about texting. It seems to be a dominating topic in so many threads. Texting is a new phenomenon for which there are no long term studies, no prescribed etiquette, no provision in education or parenting to tell young folk what is appropriate or therapeutic and what is dysfunctional and perhaps inappropriate. I'm older and have lived the bulk of my life with no such thing as texting being around. Please consider how for generation upon generation there was none of this social confusion. People met. They may have phoned a lot in the 20th Century but it was always so that people had to end dialogs and develop their own independences and live the time in between seeing each other in ignorance of what each other were doing from moment to moment. Often this would add to the pleasure of a new relationship--the old adage: "absence makes the heart grow fonder". But now here comes this pocket technology that gives people a sense that a dialog must be a continuously running one and if the dialog has to stop for anything like real life responsibilities, people start getting into emotional quandaries about why this artificial link isn't as continuous as it first appeared to be. My advice to anyone who starts developing this insecurity is to try to consider that though it seems validating in the beginning to have someone keep a running dialog open with you all the time, it is a dysfunctional illusion and a vehicle for developing co-dependence--something which in effect is arresting your development. Thus, I think and I urge that people don't fall into this trap for which society has no collective memory nor social set of established conventions. One such ultimate social convention that I think will eventually become a consensus would be to keep the ability to "text" for later in a relationship when you two have established that you're a couple and use it functionally for things like asking functional questions. When the relationship is new, don't let it become a source of emotional disarray that may wind up terminating the relationship by way of defacto neurosis. We came along way by being separate beings and such technology is a bigger shock to that norm than society has yet realized. Man, it's like you found a conduit into my brain on this one. I swear if I have to read one more "it's been 30 seconds and he/she hasn't responded to my text" thread... Forget the texting! I witness and hear a lot more negative things about texting than positive. If you keep this up, the future will become like some James Cameron movie. Relationships, communication, sex, and conception will all be done wirelessly. No one needs this leash that is often abused, misused and miscommunicated through.
carhill Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 'I'm having a heart attack' = immediate response Anything else = whenever I feel like it. IOW, to me, texting is like ringing my doorbell. Someone is requesting/demanding my presence at the door on their schedule and at their whim. If they're dying on the porch I might open it to see who's there. Otherwise, whatever. The coyotes will get them. One guy's opinion...
kalikula Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I agree you should call him. IMO If I'm actually in a relationship with someone I expect to see them a bit more (Not just dates but casually hanging out as well)
xpaperxcutx Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 OP nobody thinks you're desperate, but seeing as the both of you already established exclusivity can't you proceed with a more direct way contact with your boyfriend aside from texting? I understand the convenience of typing into a phone, but seeing that you're the " gf" you can also just call him to make dates. It's just seems so dramatic to make a scene just because your " bf" hasn't texted you back. It's almost as dramatic as weeping over a guy because he didn't add you over Facebook.
zengirl Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 But now here comes this pocket technology that gives people a sense that a dialog must be a continuously running one and if the dialog has to stop for anything like real life responsibilities, people start getting into emotional quandaries about why this artificial link isn't as continuous as it first appeared to be. My advice to anyone who starts developing this insecurity is to try to consider that though it seems validating in the beginning to have someone keep a running dialog open with you all the time, it is a dysfunctional illusion and a vehicle for developing co-dependence--something which in effect is arresting your development. Absolutely. Actually, the OP's example of a "good morning" text would kind of annoy me. I'm not into virtual conversations running across the background of my actual life. Are people really that against focusing on what they're doing while they're doing it?
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