jcrewgirl Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 Ok. So I figure I probably should provide some background so this question has context. Sorry if this is long. I met a guy about 3 weeks ago at a small party. It was a Friday, he obviously liked me, and we hung out a good part of the night. He wanted to kiss me, but I just got out of a relationship and am a little gunshy, so we didn't, but he did give me a hug and got my number. Then we went our separate ways, but he called as soon as I got home. Maybe I was a little reserved. He hinted about getting together that weekend, but we didn't end up making plans. He kept saying how cute and beautiful I was, but I didn't know what to make of that. Anyway, I was hoping he would call again, but he didn't, so I finally made a move and called him the following Wednesday. He answered, said he wasn't sure he'd hear from me, and told me that he was having a movie night with some friends and invited me. I couldn't make it, and told him sorry, and that was that. I didn't hear from him and figured it wasn't going to be anything. Then the following Tuesday I get a text about movie night again. We write back and forth a little (just playful texting) and I tell him maybe I'll see him there. I end up going on Wednesday night and he's very attentive and flirty, and I end up kissing him and making out a little after movie night is over. I'm pretty sure he wanted me to spend the night, but I didn't. He walked me out to my car, and gave me a kiss, and then texted me on my way home asking me to let him know when I made it back 'safe and sound.' So I did. I don't hear from him for several days (and I don't initiate contact), so I text him on Tuesday night saying I think movie night might get rained out. A couple of hours later he texts back and we have a normal quick text convo that basically is him inviting me over again if they do have it. I say goodnight and he does too. I don't hear anything on Wednesday at all, so I finally call him at about 9. He doesn't answer but calls back like 3 minutes later, and says they moved it inside and I 'can come.' I didn't know what to make of that phrasing, but I go (deciding at least, I can always use more friends). I'm really sociable with everyone there, and I'm having a good time. One of the other girls there asks how I know the guy and I say I met him at a party (not implying that we're anything more than friends). The movie starts and he sits a little away from me, but about 10 minutes in, he moves so he's sitting right next to me. We watch and watch and watch, and eventually he gets a little cuddly (holding my hand and stroking my leg) so I reciprocate. Movie ends, and everyone hangs out for a while. A girl that wasn't there with anyone leaves and no one walks her to her car. A girlfriend girl leaves and her boyfriend walks her to her car. Finally, I decide to leave and my guy jumps up and offers to make me a cd, so I say ok. Follow him to his room and we talk music etc for a few minutes while it burns. *He doesn't make a move. Then when it's done he tackles me on the bed really quick, and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. Then he gets up to get the cd. So I get up and we both go back upstairs. I grab my purse and take the cd and head to the door, say goodbye to everyone who's left and go to give him a hug (I figured I was more like the girl who left alone than girlfriend girl at this point). He looks all confused and says he's going to walk me to my car. So I say, oh ok and smile. We leave and get out there and he goes to give me a hug goodbye (a hug?) and a kiss on the cheek, so I pull back and go for a kiss on the lips which turns out to be more like a peck. I'm sure I looked confused but I got in my car and left. He doesn't text so I do. I say thanks for the invite, good movie. He writes back once and I reply with goodnight. (That was this past Wednesday). I text him one more time on Thursday, early evening to say thanks for the cd and that I really like it, with no response. My question, then, is why would he go from making out with me to still sweet, but definitely toned down? Does he still like me? And what do I do to not screw this up?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 You played hard to get in the beginning. Now he's returning the favor.
zengirl Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I don't know: 1.) How into you this guy was. 2.) How much your mixed signals and general unsureness about dating him turned him off. (If he's healthy, probably a lot.) 3.) How much he's playing games himself. There's no way to change any of the 3, and you don't sound like someone who came into this from a healthy, solid place. . . hence it not being healthy and solid. It doesn't sound like anything terrible happened. You just had anxiety and uncertainty, which he certainly picked up, consciously or unconsciously, and is now reciprocating, consciously or unconsciously. At this point, you have no response, and some clear signals that he's not that into pursuing this. So, there's nothing left to do, really, but scratch it off as experience, move on, and work on being ready the next time a guy (that you find interesting) is interested in you. It could be anything really----the way you acted, who you are, who he is----but the signals are clear: It fizzled out.
kalikula Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 You played hard to get in the beginning. Now he's returning the favor. Noooo I really disagree with this. How was she even playing hard to get..? Just because she didn't kiss him the first day she met him? In the beginning he should have contacted you a bit more if he really wanted to see you, but he didn't... Sounds like he's not sure if he likes you, if you ask me. You should move on and don't text him, you don't want to try and keep things going if he's not sure if he likes you. It would just end badly.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Noooo I really disagree with this. How was she even playing hard to get..? Just because she didn't kiss him the first day she met him? In the beginning he should have contacted you a bit more if he really wanted to see you, but he didn't... Sounds like he's not sure if he likes you, if you ask me. You should move on and don't text him, you don't want to try and keep things going if he's not sure if he likes you. It would just end badly. She kept waiting for him to contact her, and she would let 3-4 days go by before even initiating. Really her actions all scream lukewarm to him. Also, I think the guy's losing interest that's why he hasn't contacted her.
Recommended Posts