I'm hanging it up

[mortensorchid]

I've come to a decision, and this is not a thread about self pity or anger or frustration or whatever else you might want to call it. And that is, I GIVE UP.

 

I have had and will continue to have an exciting life. I have many friends, I have been many places, and I will continue to grow and change. But, I have come to the conclusion that no one wants me. I am fed up with the lies, the abuse, the anger, the blow offs, the rotten, crazy, self centered men in the world. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing "It will happen when you least expect it". Well, when do we NOT expect things? I expect trivial things (ex. getting out of bed every morning) and I expect in the long term important things (ex. coming to realizations). Guys in general do not take the time nor the energy to get to know a woman or consider things about her for short nor long term. The last few boyfriends (if you want to call them that) have actually said to me "Now that I know I'm able to attract a wonderful woman like you, I know the next one will be even better and I'm going to get another girlfriend!" with broad smiles on their faces. And, 9 out of 10 of them do. And they marry them less than a year later.

 

I have dodged bullets in the past, I know that now. But, I have determined that it is simply not meant to be. I should just stop hoping and dreaming, I'm too old at 35 to be hoping for Mr. Right. Or even Mr. Right Now.

[xpaperxcutx]

MC, I like u I really do. I always see you posting on here about your dates and you just remind me of me....

 

It's not your fault. Honestly some people just can't appreciate you and really half the time when you put in an effort, it's all for naught. Maybe you just need to change locations and move somewhere with more possibilities.

 

Most of the time you'll probably feel like you'd dated all the men in your state... ( I know I do)....

[0hpenelope]

I've come to a decision, and this is not a thread about self pity or anger or frustration or whatever else you might want to call it. And that is, I GIVE UP.

 

I have had and will continue to have an exciting life. I have many friends, I have been many places, and I will continue to grow and change. But, I have come to the conclusion that no one wants me. I am fed up with the lies, the abuse, the anger, the blow offs, the rotten, crazy, self centered men in the world. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing "It will happen when you least expect it". Well, when do we NOT expect things? I expect trivial things (ex. getting out of bed every morning) and I expect in the long term important things (ex. coming to realizations). Guys in general do not take the time nor the energy to get to know a woman or consider things about her for short nor long term. The last few boyfriends (if you want to call them that) have actually said to me "Now that I know I'm able to attract a wonderful woman like you, I know the next one will be even better and I'm going to get another girlfriend!" with broad smiles on their faces. And, 9 out of 10 of them do. And they marry them less than a year later.

 

I have dodged bullets in the past, I know that now. But, I have determined that it is simply not meant to be. I should just stop hoping and dreaming, I'm too old at 35 to be hoping for Mr. Right. Or even Mr. Right Now.

 

Oh, oh god.. It's not horrible, but I can only imagine your experiences that you had to go through that got you to thinking with this mindset.

 

:hug: I'm running on 2 shots of Potters whiskey worrying about my man and how I suck at being his girlfriend. I'll be thinking of you for my 3rd shot.

[xpaperxcutx]

Oh, oh god.. It's not horrible, but I can only imagine your experiences that you had to go through that got you to thinking with this mindset.

 

:hug: I'm running on 2 shots of Potters whiskey worrying about my man and how I suck at being his girlfriend. I'll be thinking of you for my 3rd shot.

 

OMG, I ran out of alcohol... can you do a shot for me, if your liver can withstand it? I'd appreciate it.

[skydiveaddict]

I have dodged bullets in the past, I know that now. But, I have determined that it is simply not meant to be. I should just stop hoping and dreaming, I'm too old at 35 to be hoping for Mr. Right. Or even Mr. Right Now.

 

 

 

I hear you . I have reached the same conclusion about myself

[xpaperxcutx]

I hear you . I have reached the same conclusion about myself

 

No... not you too Sky. I thought you were doing okay... what happened?

[skydiveaddict]

No... not you too Sky. I thought you were doing okay... what happened?

 

 

No matter how I try I cant forget her

[kdark]

No matter how I try I cant forget her

 

Sorry to hear that man.

 

When I'm in that mood, I always watch the movie Swingers. Usually does the trick.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I have dodged bullets in the past, I know that now. But, I have determined that it is simply not meant to be. I should just stop hoping and dreaming, I'm too old at 35 to be hoping for Mr. Right. Or even Mr. Right Now.

 

I know your feeling down and hopeless right now. Your not fat, your not ugly... you have plenty of life left. Just give it time.

 

You know the reason women tend to find that perfect guy once they stop looking?

[skydiveaddict]

It,s more than a mood . It's a feeling I cant get rid of

[WTFBBQ]

I'm sorry you kids are discouraged. I know you don't want to believe it, but love finds you when you least expect it.

So stop looking.

[deux ex machina]

I don't even want to start dating, I'm so gun-shy at this point.

[xpaperxcutx]

Sorry to hear that man.

 

When I'm in that mood, I always watch the movie Swingers. Usually does the trick.

 

Omg great idea, let's all be swingers... at least we can love each other....:lmao:

[0hpenelope]

OMG, I ran out of alcohol... can you do a shot for me, if your liver can withstand it? I'd appreciate it.

 

Girl, you know I will. It seems like a lot of people had Sucky Saturday (or how about Sucky Life blues) so I will keep everyone that's feeling down-hearted in this thread in mind as I burn my liver to smithereens with Potters Whiskey.

 

Damn, thing's got a kick to it. I don't care right now, I'm just blaaa about everything right now.

 

WTFBBQ, thanks for the encouragement. We need to counterbalance this emo with some joy, omfg... Where is my shot glass, dang it?!

[0hpenelope]

No... not you too Sky. I thought you were doing okay... what happened?

 

Yeah man, what paper said! I went on my hiatus and you were on the up and up. Couple of steps forward, but more steps back?

 

No matter how I try I cant forget her

 

Yeah, well... Untouchable Fire said something about those people coming in when we least expect them to and it happened to me. But I'm feeling emo about the boyfriend still being admittedly close to the ex that he lost his virginity to and was just hanging out with the other night. They also happen to be lifelong friends. I've never kept exes as friends, I will never do so, and I certainly can't relate with how it's possible for people to keep things platonic with the person they slept with for the first time.

 

I feel horrible about admitting to him that I will never like the girl on principle, I can't control how I feel but I can control what I do about my feelings, I will never ask him to not hang out with her because that's just really dumb, but it doesn't mean I have to like it that he's still hanging out and ~*~**~*~close~*~**~*~ (emphasis on heavy, dripping, viscous sarcasm with the twinkly text).

 

I'm still talking to my friend about how I'm being irrational and I came to the realization that one of my fears still is that even now, she'll still be a higher priority to him than I am because of their ~*~**~history~**~*~

 

BLAAA:sick: Where is my shot glass, I swear... Omfg... Sorry for the threadjack, mortensochild. I'll drink a 5th for you in apology. Oh god.

[xpaperxcutx]

Yeah man, what paper said! I went on my hiatus and you were on the up and up. Couple of steps forward, but more steps back?

 

 

 

Yeah, well... Untouchable Fire said something about those people coming in when we least expect them to and it happened to me. But I'm feeling emo about the boyfriend still being admittedly close to the ex that he lost his virginity to and was just hanging out with the other night. They also happen to be lifelong friends. I've never kept exes as friends, I will never do so, and I certainly can't relate with how it's possible for people to keep things platonic with the person they slept with for the first time.

 

I feel horrible about admitting to him that I will never like the girl on principle, I can't control how I feel but I can control what I do about my feelings, I will never ask him to not hang out with her because that's just really dumb, but it doesn't mean I have to like it that he's still hanging out and ~*~**~*~close~*~**~*~ (emphasis on heavy, dripping, viscous sarcasm with the twinkly text).

 

I'm still talking to my friend about how I'm being irrational and I came to the realization that one of my fears still is that even now, she'll still be a higher priority to him than I am because of their ~*~**~history~**~*~

 

BLAAA:sick: Where is my shot glass, I swear... Omfg... Sorry for the threadjack, mortensochild. I'll drink a 5th for you in apology. Oh god.

 

Shoot! girl, you are strong to put up with him. I don't know how I'd fair in your position, but I'd probably down a whole bottle of vodka before I end things. Like you, I can't put up with exes, never believe that past lovers can be friends, never can maintain the friendship. And given the fact that I'm one of those possessive and jealous types, I would be the first to either starting fights or runningn away from the drama of it all.

 

Girl, I think you desere a 6th.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Yeah, well... Untouchable Fire said something about those people coming in when we least expect them to and it happened to me. But I'm feeling emo about the boyfriend still being admittedly close to the ex that he lost his virginity to and was just hanging out with the other night. They also happen to be lifelong friends. I've never kept exes as friends, I will never do so, and I certainly can't relate with how it's possible for people to keep things platonic with the person they slept with for the first time.

 

I just got back from a bar, hanging out with 10 other guys. This was actually on the topic of conversation tonight... so I think I will share.

 

There is no special attachment to the woman you first have sex with. It's the one you love first that matters.

 

He can talk with his ex as he pleases... so long as it's all out in the open. Also, he does not have a right to spend time with her alone.

[xpaperxcutx]

I just got back from a bar, hanging out with 10 other guys. This was actually on the topic of conversation tonight... so I think I will share.

 

There is no special attachment to the woman you first have sex with. It's the one you love first that matters.

 

He can talk with his ex as he pleases... so long as it's all out in the open. Also, he does not have a right to spend time with her alone.

 

So in men, what chemical reaction would set off the love button? I'm well aware men likes the physical more than the emotional, yet at what point do they actually admit cupid's hit them in the head?

 

For all I know, I might have to refrain from sex until they clarify to me they're not just after my body, but my heart.

[0hpenelope]

Shoot! girl, you are strong to put up with him. I don't know how I'd fair in your position, but I'd probably down a whole bottle of vodka before I end things. Like you, I can't put up with exes, never believe that past lovers can be friends, never can maintain the friendship. And given the fact that I'm one of those possessive and jealous types, I would be the first to either starting fights or runningn away from the drama of it all.

 

Girl, I think you desere a 6th.

 

I'm not strong at all, paper dear. I think I'm a simpering, jealous gf who needs to trust her man more and shouldn't even be fazed by this girl. I'm all about appearances, too: never let the "other side" know I'm intimidated by them even a slight bit. A classy lady always keeps her cool, is always poised, corrects when it's necessary, and doesn't put up with crap.

 

I thought I was pretty chill. Really! If I wanted to control lives, I'd get on my computer and play Sims 3. But then I realized, as I explained it to my friend on Skype tonight:

 

[7/31/10 10:57:49 PM] 0hpenelope: it's one thing to have close girl friends.

[7/31/10 10:58:11 PM] 0hpenelope: it's another thing to have close girl friends that are EXES and HE GAVE UP HIS VIRGINITY TO

[7/31/10 10:58:17 PM] 0hpenelope: sorry

[7/31/10 10:58:23 PM] 0hpenelope: i'm not yelling

[7/31/10 10:58:33 PM] 0hpenelope: just emphasizing. cuz that's how it looks/sounds in my head

[7/31/10 10:59:01 PM] 0hpenelope: CLOSE EXES THAT F*CKED

[7/31/10 10:59:08 PM] 0hpenelope: FOR THE FIRST TIME

[7/31/10 10:59:11 PM] 0hpenelope: god i need a drink

[7/31/10 10:59:15 PM] 0hpenelope: WITH EACH OTHER

[7/31/10 10:59:20 PM] 0hpenelope: oh god i want a whole bottle

 

Second degree! I don't understand, I really don't. Forget this, I wish I had some Gewürztraminer. I don't want to be rational right now or reasonable, I just want to feel and put off being the thinker and analyzer for the rest of the day.

 

He can hang out with whoever he likes. I mean it. Victoria's Secret models can drape their lean thighs over him and I would still feel secure. I'd even ask for videos. But with this ex... my security falls like a weak house of cards. Dang it, I found my shot glass and why is it empty!? I feel like Jack Sparrow: "Where's the rum?"

 

Indeed. I want to see the bottom of this bottle, god dammit.

 

I just got back from a bar, hanging out with 10 other guys. This was actually on the topic of conversation tonight... so I think I will share.

 

PLEASE SHARE. :sick:

 

There is no special attachment to the woman you first have sex with. It's the one you love first that matters.

 

He can talk with his ex as he pleases... so long as it's all out in the open. Also, he does not have a right to spend time with her alone.

 

But... but... how do I defend this? It sounds a little lame in my head: "I'm more important (or I'm more of a priority) because I'm your gf. Compared to someone you've known all your life and you've ~*~**~more history~**~*~ with , I'm more important on the basis that I'm your gf."

 

He's 23. That's 18 years of his life with someone vs. some 10+ weeks with me. WOW. What weight do I carry here? Ugh.

 

You know, though? I'll admit, if I were giving advice to a friend in my situation, I can see myself saying that: if the SO and the ex are hanging out together alone and they're "just platonic friends," I'd tell my friend to put the foot down and say "Cut it out" on it.

 

Thank you so much for sharing. I will keep this in mind. I wish there was some way LS users can bookmark favorite posts without saving it on Firefox or Opera or Chrome (IE? What's that? ).

 

I have but one question now...

I am still sober; why am I still sober?

 

Sickened with myself. I utterly and thoroughly jacked your thread, mortensorchid.

[Untouchable_Fire]

So in men, what chemical reaction would set off the love button? I'm well aware men likes the physical more than the emotional, yet at what point do they actually admit cupid's hit them in the head?

For all I know, I might have to refrain from sex until they clarify to me they're not just after my body, but my heart.

 

 

 

But... but... how do I defend this? It sounds a little lame in my head: "I'm more important (or I'm more of a priority) because I'm your gf. Compared to someone you've known all your life and you've ~*~**~more history~**~*~ with , I'm more important on the basis that I'm your gf."

He's 23. That's 18 years of his life with someone vs. some 10+ weeks with me. WOW. What weight do I carry here? Ugh.

You know, though? I'll admit, if I were giving advice to a friend in my situation, I can see myself saying that: if the SO and the ex are hanging out together alone and they're "just platonic friends," I'd tell my friend to put the foot down and say "Cut it out" on it.

Thank you so much for sharing. I will keep this in mind. I wish there was some way LS users can bookmark favorite posts without saving it on Firefox or Opera or Chrome (IE? What's that? ).

I have but one question now...

I am still sober; why am I still sober?

Sickened with myself. I utterly and thoroughly jacked your thread, mortensorchid.

 

Look, he may have more time with his ex... but he made a commitment to you right? He has agreed to be your BF and exclusive with you.

 

It is very selfish of him to run back and hang out with his ex. If he wants her... then he should go back to dating her and not you.

 

So... my question is this. Are you not putting your foot down because you are spineless... or is it because you believe allowing him this is the right thing to do?

[You'reasian]

I've come to a decision, and this is not a thread about self pity or anger or frustration or whatever else you might want to call it. And that is, I GIVE UP.

 

I have had and will continue to have an exciting life. I have many friends, I have been many places, and I will continue to grow and change. But, I have come to the conclusion that no one wants me. I am fed up with the lies, the abuse, the anger, the blow offs, the rotten, crazy, self centered men in the world. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing "It will happen when you least expect it". Well, when do we NOT expect things? I expect trivial things (ex. getting out of bed every morning) and I expect in the long term important things (ex. coming to realizations). Guys in general do not take the time nor the energy to get to know a woman or consider things about her for short nor long term. The last few boyfriends (if you want to call them that) have actually said to me "Now that I know I'm able to attract a wonderful woman like you, I know the next one will be even better and I'm going to get another girlfriend!" with broad smiles on their faces. And, 9 out of 10 of them do. And they marry them less than a year later.

 

I have dodged bullets in the past, I know that now. But, I have determined that it is simply not meant to be. I should just stop hoping and dreaming, I'm too old at 35 to be hoping for Mr. Right. Or even Mr. Right Now.

 

Your negativity is getting the better of you. Sounds like you're having a rough time -

 

I bolded the above sentence because people in general do not take the time to get to know one another. We like our 30 second sound clips and prefer to take things at face-value because we live busy lives, where technology owns us and human interaction is seen as old fashioned...this is the trend.

 

We make hasty decisions and forget long-term thinking, we're all guilty of it and this spills into our dating/relationship lives as well.

 

If a man invests time and interest into you, consider it a good thing - even if its not necessarily hot and exciting. Its a sign that this person values you in some way.

 

Modern dating opinions suggest that the less time you spend being with someone, the better and that playing hard to get is good. This may work in short term dating, but is a disaster for a relationship. Tell future guys that you'd like to hang out when their not busy because you want to get to know them better.

 

Things will improve for you. Keep moving forward!

Edited August 1, 2010 by You'reasian

[BobSacamento]

It's time to stop acting like a victim and start finding some.

[carhill]

OP, I'm a man and I empathize with you. I see men every day who do what you've described, and have for my entire life. It's a path I have no understanding of, but I can sense the pain in the results of that path for some.

 

I think your decision to focus primarily on your passions and those people who are positive influences in your life is a healthy one. There is a lot to be thankful for, and it is often missed in the pain of one's perceived 'failures'. Hope it works out for you

[xpaperxcutx]

It's time to stop acting like a victim and start finding some.

 

Love this! :love: