Funf Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Honestly, is it even worth trying online dating if you want a long term relationship? I've had lots of success landing first dates, but that's it. It's nice to date around but I want something long term and stable. But it just doesn't seem possible with online dating websites because it's such a numbers game and there's just too much competition. I'm really discouraged. Any thoughts?
carhill Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Think about it. How is online dating more 'competition' than in real life? Save for those members who are married and lying about their status, you get to select amongst people who are single, something I rarely experience in real life at my age, and, gasp, they actually seem interested in dating. Out of four LTR's, including one marriage, three occurred as a result of being introduced through online 'dating', though one early introduction was 'phone' dating, prior to the internet being commonly available. Friends introduced the other person. I've met two women (no LTR's) while divorcing through online dating. No 'love connection', but had some good times nonetheless. To me, online 'dating' is merely an alternative method of contact, as effective and reliable (or not) as any other method. Up to you what you do with it. Good luck
xpaperxcutx Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Then you avoid dating traps like online sites and go the local route. There's no harm in meeting people in your vicinity or chatting up the locals at the shops. The only thing that's going to disappoint you is that if you jump in with too much expectations everything come back biting you in the back. Sometimes being casual about what you want while browsing is better than jumping in and saying frankly you want this or that.
Crazy Magnet Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 Some of it will depend on the site you are using. I met my SO on eHarmony and we both signed up there b/c we were both looking for LTR. We just moved in together, so online dating does have the potential to be long term.
alexlakeman Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 You get what you pay for.. forget the free sites... Those that have had NO luck with online dating will say they are a terrible way to meet people.. In my case, I've had...hmm, lots of relationships out of online dating and 2 long term , significant relationships... so YES IT WORKS>> Just put some effort into it...
brainygirl Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I tried the free trials of eharmony, the closest match they offer me is like two hours away. I know I'm unique, but I'd like an opportunity to at least see who's local and interested enough to use it, you know. I've used plenty of fish, and seem to meet loosers there. No, seriously, guys with no education and marginal employment. Okcupid is another free one, but it seems like people use it more for the time wasting quizzes than to actually get a date. I've met one guy from there, and he was a complete dud.
Serenitynow Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I tried the free trials of eharmony, the closest match they offer me is like two hours away. I tried Eharmony and their special "match finder" program told me " no matches found " after filling out the 2000 questions .
zengirl Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 (edited) Sidenote: I can't do eHarmony because that site is way Christian. A friend of mine did an eHarmony experiment just to see with various accounts (it was for some paper her was writing) with different faiths, but basically all but the Christian one were dusty cobwebbed if you wanted to meet anyone with similar values. Forget finding an atheist (I'm not an atheist, but I tend to date them) on that site! To answer the question, I've had 2 LTR that had something to do with meeting online. Both fellows were serious. You can tell that easier online (or at least I can). I've had STRs that didn't lead to much of anything, but they were much more pleasant than many of my other dating experiences because at least we actually had something to talk about. Online dating has the opposite/reverse downside of meeting folks out and about (assuming you don't know them well): You might not be attracted, but you'll probably have something to talk about. Because of that, a few dates have winded up as friends, too. . . just pheromones doing what they will. ETA: I used Match way back in the day when it was easier to cheat the system and plenty of folks used it without paying. Since then, I've mostly only used OKCupid. I've used it when I moved to meet new friends (both genders) too. I just like the interface. But I think a lot of "what site" depends on age and location. Edited August 1, 2010 by zengirl
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