JoboF4i Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Alright so i need another take on this and confirmation that im not misreading the situation in the first place. I met this girl in one of my classes and after the semester ended she and I took an online class which gave us an excuse to hang out together and work on it. Well needless to say we flirted alot in class and also tonight when she came over to work on our stuff (i know, its friday night lol). So everythings going according to plan, shes laughing at every stupid joke i make, were sitting next to each other on the couch playing like everythings harmless and during the course of our conversation i asked a question that prompted an answer including the fact that she had a BF.....ouch. She had never mentioned this during the months before and i steered the conversation away from it quickly and continued flriting but it changed the dynamics forsure. We stop working on our class at midnight and instead of going home, she sits with me on the couch for an hour watching tv and talking/flirting until eventually she had to leave. I couldnt go any further tonight without thinking this through and we decided to work on our class again tommorow night (yes, saturday night lol) while having a few beers.....so needless to say i need some fast advice. Im beginning to actually like this girl but after being cheated on awhile ago i would be stupid to ignore the fact that she has a BF. So what do i do here? im now questioning her integrity but i feel like i need to make a move tommorow night in some respect. Also, it made me question whether or not im completely misreading her intentions (i dont think i am) but let me know what comes to your mind.
Rifareal Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Your in the position that every guy wants to be. Grab the chance atleast make her feel your better than her bf. Shes the one teasing you its like hey i am giving you the hint. Don't for her to do the move because it wouldn't probably happen. Do the right thing before she looses interest in you.
Author JoboF4i Posted July 31, 2010 Author Posted July 31, 2010 Well i thought there was more of an ethical conflict here but if thats the only advice im getting i guess im just going to continue to do what im doing lol
zengirl Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Well i thought there was more of an ethical conflict here but if thats the only advice im getting i guess im just going to continue to do what im doing lol You know it's ethically wrong. You've been cheated on too. No one needs to give you ethical advice, as you're perfectly capable of understanding the ethics involved. You get to decide what kind of person you are----not her, not the people on a message board, but you. Every moment, you decide.
Mike B. Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Strictly adhering to "ethics" in the dating arena will have you spending many of lonely nights looking at the Playboy channel. There aren't much ethics involved here and you are putting the cart before the horse. You don't know anything about her relationship. She can be looking to get out of it or it can be long distance or whatever. Anyway, it is not her husband. It's a boyfriend. People leave their BF and GF all of the time for another one. This what not being married is all about! Dating people and finding the person that is right for you. It's not like she has slept with you or kissed you already. Keep doing what you are doing. I never get into the habit of asking a woman if she has a BF for a reason that you stated above. It changes the dynamics if their is a lot of chemistry going on and then she will have to feel that she has to stop giving you a lot of great signals and flirty behavior or else you will think she is a slut. The BF subject comes up and no one has to come out and directly say "yes" or "no" to be held accountable for their behavior. Keep doing what you are doing except discussing the BF. You can talk about that once she is fully roped in.
lofi_tokyo Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 You get to decide what kind of person you are----not her, not the people on a message board, but you. Every moment, you decide. I agree with this! However, I think if you want to go after this girl OP, why not. I'm a girl, I've been cheated on, and yes it caused me a lot of pain when it happened... but I don't know, things really aren't that bad. I figure if someone cheats, well the relationship obviously wasn't working - its better they're out of your life sooner rather than later. I guess this is a bit self-centered of me, but if I was in your position OP, I'd be more concerned about getting burned by the girl rather than the whole ethics issue.
collegeguy_24 Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 I don't think you should go for it, you know what its like to be cheated on, and if you go through with this you will be no better then the guy your ex cheated on you with. Its not worth it, you should stick with being friends, but don't try to pursue her.
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